(rest of) Day 304

Day 304 (continued)

Frisday, March 2`, 2014

Physical:

I still have no idea what in the world is/was going on with DH, but this morning he seems back to “normal”.  I think.  With dementia, it’s hard to tell.  Last night (Friday night) was truly awful.  He became so totally unresponsive that it scared me.  He refused to eat or even drink anything.  And he wouldn’t speak to me .. would just look; and I don’t know if he even saw me or understood or anything.  At 9:00 I put his pills in his mouth, and the cup to his mouth .. and he drank enough to get the pills down, and refused anything else.

And he just kept going back to sleep.

I have a suspicion what might have been going on, but I still don’t know what started the whole eisode (beginning Thursday morning when his B/P, for no obvious reason, plummeted).  The nurse had given me some syringes with a med she said I could give him for the pain from his hernia when he coughs.  So late in the afternoon (longer than the prescribed time between doses for the morning med given) I gave him one dose.  It did help.  It took a short time, butmade him comfortable.  But I can’t help but wonder if it made him “too” comfortable.  I think I will be very reluctant to use that again, although if he gets into a lot of pain again I will.  The problem there is not knowing what condition the hernia is in.  It *should* have been repaired when his catheter was surgically inserted.  Instead, it was given a “bandaid”.  Now it’s a problem, but everyone agrees that DH could not survive surgery at this point.  I am glad to know there is something that will ease him, but as I said, will use it very sparingly.

He woke once in the middle of the night.  He did speak then, but very slurred (as one would expect in the night).  By 5:30 he was awake, and as near “normal” as he gets.  I told him it was too early to be waking up on a weekend and he went back to sleep.  About 8:00 he woke again,.  I took him the early pill, and he took it with no hesitation.  He told me he’d been dreaming about construction.  Highly unusual for him to tell me he dreamed something!

This morning (Saturday) he took his morning pills with no problem.  He remembers nothing of the past 2 days.  The fact that he seems “better” reassures me that the cause of all this is not an infection.  Did he maybe have another stroke?  We’ve never known when they happened anyway; but there’s always been clear indications later that *something* happened.

He’s complaining a lot of his right knee hurting.  I have no idea why or where that came from.  Possibily it’s because of him slipping so far down on the bed that he can’t straighten his legs .. but then why only one knee?  Anyway, it was really bothring him a lot, so I broke down and gave him a dose of what I believe to be the “milder” pain med.  He fairly quickly went back to sleep, so it must have eased him enough to relax.

People:

TGF stopped by in the afternoon, briefly 

Emotions:

Last night (Friday night) was totally awful.  I felt afraid, and so alone.  I had hoped DSS would come by sometime today and see his dad.  Since DH has “rallied” a bit, it’s not as important.  That’s good, because coming out here is clearly not a priority.  I believe TGF is trying to “protect” DSS from me asking too much from them.  He’s going off with some friends (unclear if just today or the whole weekend) to a car show.  I know she encourages that .. partly because he’s gotten so grumpy around her kids, and partly so she can do what she wants to do without having to work “around” him.  This morning I got an email saying he’s not only gone this weekend, but weekend after next too.  Plus he’s going to Florida for his best friend’s birthday during spring break.  It just seems they have more and more stuff going on, and doing anything to help us out has gotten very inconvenient.

I really don’t know what I’m supposed to do.  Apparently *most* people if they have a patient with DH’s type issues, put them in a facility.  But him being on dialysis is a major complication and prevents him from being in  a place.  And there is the additional fact that if he were put somewhere, I’d have no way of going to visit, and he’d think he’d been abandoned too.  He’s already disoriented and confused, and I just don’t see it being any sort of benefit to make that worse.  I don’t know that he’d necessarily get “better” care in a facility .. he certainly wouldn’t have someone available at any given moment.  But, no one would have to move him – even just roll him over for washing – alone.  And there would be trained professionals on hand when needed.  No one would be left trying to guess what they’re supposed to do.

There are no “good” answers.  But it sure would help if the only family close enough to be of real help were actually willing to be available when needed, instead of making me feel like it’s an imposition to squeeze us into their busy schedules