Day 295

Day 295

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Physical

This was a better day than the last few have been.  DH still slept most of the day; but when he was awake, he was more alert and responsive than he’s been bing.  He tried – again – to look at his magazine.  This time when he got sleepy again he asked me to turn off the lights. 

He ate a little better, but not by much.  And since I have no knowledge of how the body works (other than a general vague understanding), I will probably never figure out how “output” can be so much greater than “intake”.  Enough said.

He was, as always, somewhere else. 

He slept well, but woke around 7:00 “in a car” .. and is completely convinced he is in a car and can’t get it started.  Nothing this morning (Thursday) seems to deter him from that mind set.

People:

The CAN came early as always now.  Around 1:00 the chaplain came for a visit.  He stayed about an hour (and DH slept the whole time), and mostly just listen to me babble about nonsense.

In the evening I had a lovely long phone conversation with my 2 sisters-in-law.

Emotions:

I felt less stressed last night, after both the chaplain’s visit and the phone conversations.  This morning is a bit rough, with his mind so far “off”.  But he’s awake (for now), and seemingly alert and responsive.  And confused.

Yesterday I found out that TGF’s kids will be at her mother’s for the weekend.  She said it’s so she and DSS can get some yard cleaning done (because he “can’t” (won’t!!) function around the boys).  In the past, he’s refused to take Saturday off work … so it makes me wonder if my Sunday is going to get cut short again.  She won’t tell me, so nothing I can do but wait and see what happens.  My frustration level is so high … so many things I need help with (because I can’t see well), and there is NO one to help … and she has less and less time to be bothered.  I know I’m being completely unfair; but it just feels like they sucked every penny they could out of me, and now that there is nothing else they can no longer be bothered. 

I have to find something to do today so I don’t keep fretting about things I can’t control.  I think cleaning out closets is a mistake … all I do is move stuff from one place to another.  With no way to get rid of things, I don’t accomplish anything.  I can’t sew because there is no one to get the machine threaded for me.  Maybe I’ll wash the glass on the storm doors.  That should take me all of 5 minutes!