Day 300

Day 300

Monday, March 17, 2014

Physical

Wow.  I can’t believe it’s been 300 days since I started this blog!

This was yet another strange day.  DH slept fairly late this morning after he’d been bathed and was all clean and warm.  He really had the warmest place in the house then!  He woke a little before noon, and I took him his pills and drink.  He also ate a jelly doughnut.  Yes I know that’s not “healthy”.  I don’t care, he can eat what ever he wants and will eat!

During the afternoon, he mentioned that oops, he thought he needed to be changed.  Well, yes.  We had a difficult time, and no need to go into any details.  But, in the process, I made a major boo0boo.  And it boils down to I simply couldn’t see well enough to notice .. when I cut off the tabs (because when I pull them, everything tends to shred and stretch), I accidently cut off the end of the catheter (dialysis) tubing.  I didn’t figure it out until I realized the bed was wet.  I promptly clamped it, and called the dialysis nurse.

After a repair and a preventative dose of antibiotic, DH went back to sleep

The supply order that was supposed to come got delayed until Tuesday. 

I woke DH up to watch his TV shows.  He didn’t want anything to eat, but I finally persuaded him to eat a couple of ham sandwiches.  He also refused to drink any more of the extra drink than it took to get his pills down. 

When I got him ready for bed, I had to clean him up yet again.  But once everything was done, and dialysis started, he went on to sleep.  He did wake around 4:00, and I had to persuade him that he didn’t need to go anywhere and to go back to slee.  Then just before 7:30 I heard him stirring again and went in to take the early pill.  I found him completely sideways on the bed with his feet hanging over the rail.  He was pretty much “stuck”, so I’m not overly worried about him being able to get out; but I do worry about him hurting himself like that, and also pulling too hard on the dialysis tubing and causing damange.

After getting bathed, he was still a bit confused, but went on to sleep.

People:

The CAN was here early as usual.  The dialysis nurse came in response to the “emergency” in the late afternoon.  The supply order was supposed to come, but I got a call he will be here tomorrow instead.  The weather had delayed him too much to be able to get here in time.

Emotions:

I’m really tired of everything in this house smelling bad.  I use a LOT of Fabreeze, as well as turning on my Scentsy burners.  It’s not enough. I’m also tired of being cold, even though I know perfectly well when summer finally gets here, it will be “too hot”.  What can I say .. I’m OLD.  I get too cold and too hot.

I keep trying to tell myself I went a whole year without a weekend off; and in fact, had only a few half days and one full day “off”.  I had a lovely weekend only a month ago and should be just fine to handle everything.  And in fact, I’m just not handling things as well as I should be doing.  I need to stop letting resentment build up, but the selfishness of the kids just gets to me.  I’m tired and don’t get a “real” break.  

I don’t even like myself when I’m whiny.  This is how it is and I don’t know why I don’t just accept that this is how things are.  The “kids” do not understand and do not really care.  They have their own lives to deal with and really don’t see anything here as “important”.  And after all, I’m here all day, so what’s the problem, right? 

They *say* the sun will come back on Thursday.  Maybe I’ll have a better attitude then