Saturday, March 22, 2014
I didn’t intend to start posting twice a day; but things keep changing, and I just can’t keep up. This morning IDH was alert; but he did say he was hurting, especially the right knee. I gave him a dose of the pain med, and he slept for about 4 hours.
When he woke, I got him to take his pills; but he wouldn’t finish the glass of drink. After that, while he was still awake and somewhat alaert, I managed to get the pad off the bed and the disposable ones off. (no clean up needed this time). I got the smaller pad and some more disposable ones tucked under him (he still can’t roll over). I put the cleaned blanket on him and took the other one to be washed with the pad.
Here’s what is changing: he’s complaining of hurting. He says his stomach is not still aching (still mostly relieves my mind of the threat of infection); but he just hurts “all over”. He does not feel *warm* at all (don’t think there’s any fever). So .. is this some new symptom of something (possibly undiagnosed)? Is this a result of laying in bed all the time? The worst fear: no more pain med than he’s had, is his body over reacting to pain when he comes “down”? I don’t want him to be doped up all the time (especially when he won’t drink anything); but I don’t want him in pain either (and he still won’t drink anything). I wish I knew what to do.
He’s “huffing and puffing” … says it’s because he hurts. I won’t give him any more of the (milder) pain med until it’s been 6 hours, which is another hour away.But the concept of hospice is to make him comfortable .. and if he’s hurting, he’s obviously not comfortable. I just don’t know what to do.
The nurse seems to think he’s declining faster than she thought he would. But what I’m seeing is that he came back a little from where he was Thursday, but with the added pain. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know.
One other sort of odd thing. He’s not “confused”. It’s like when his body started hurting, his mind cleared. He knows right where he is and what’s going on (well, mostly). This is the first time he’s known he was “at home” in many months. I’m not sure I’m happy with the trade off!
I know I need to clean house. I’ve done a lot of silly little chores but can’t really concentrate on much of anything. With DH not eating, it just seems more trouble than it’s worth to fix something for myself. So I just pick and nibble on junk food all day.
I finally decided I need answers, or at least some sort of direction. I called hospice and left a message for a nurse to give me a call so I can ask questions. Now it’s wait and see I guess.
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