Monday, March 24, 2014

Day 306

Day 306
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Physcal:
I really don’t know if this was a good day or not.  In the morning, DH was awake.  He was “trying to start the car” again .. a reoccurring theme.  But he was also a bit  … irritated I guess.  Unsettled.  He kept insisting he didn’t want any covers on him.   At one point I turned on all the lights and turned his TV on.  He did eventually .. late morning .. settle down.  He decided it would be OK for me to put some clothes on him (he’d been laying there naked and insisting he had his underwear on!).  Apparently he tired himself out; he was ready to take a nap.  So I put the sheet back, and a little before noon he went to sleep.  He seemed to sleep very peacefully .. no apneas, no “heavy” breathing (sometimes sounds like he can’t get enough breath), and no coughing.  I woke him up when the kids got here around 3:30; but he was sleepy, groggy, mostly “out of it” the rest of the day. 
I took him a slice of pizza .. he later insisted (and got mad at me when I challenged him) that he ate half of it … he never had the first bite.
He took one pill with some of his drink; but later, I had a very difficult time getting him to take the lat of his night time pills.  He just held them in his mouth, held the drink in his hand .. and simply would not move.  It took at least 10 minutes before I perwuaded him to take a drink and swallow the pills; and he totally refused any more of the drink.
He did go on to sleep, and slept very quietly.
This morning (Monday) he is wakeful, but sounds weak and “froggy”, and seems to not feel good though I can’t tell for sure.  He is still saying his knee hurts, which is the oddest thing of all.
People:
DSS and TGF came about 3:30.  TGF and I did the shopping, got back about 7:00.  We ate pizza, they left soon after.  DSS seems to be aware how much his dad has “slipped”.  He made the comment that he probably ought to call his brother, but he won’t (this is the brother that has made no effort to call or come see his dad since June .. not for birthday, Christmas, anything).
Emotions:
I think I’m a bit numb.  During the grocery run, the majority of the time was listening to TGF complain about DSS.  I spoke up a time or two in his defense, but she pretty much rejected my thoughts.  She’s certainly not interested in anything going on (or not) in my life.  She told her mom on the phone that she had not spent much time with me in a long time and was going to be here more today (Sunday); but in the end, her mom kept calling and whining about some issues, so she went on to deal with that.  We at least got to eat this time; and she did go through the mail enough to tell me what was junk that could be trashed.  There’s a growing pile of things I’d like to deal with, but I don’t know when that’s ever going to happen.  They just don’t have time for us.  And what makes me angry – and sad – is that when DH is gone, everyone is going to be all sad that they didn’t spend more time with him.  The only ones who have the right to be sad are the grandsons in GA, because they haven’t had any choice.

I didn’t sleep well, and got up early.  It’s time for the CAN to get here.

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