Day 307/308
Monday (& into Tuesday), March 24 & 25, 2014
Physical:
I know I wrote yesterday morning, but I really don’t remember when
or how much I wrote. Anyway, DH really
only slept all day. In the evening he
got a little of a coughing spell, and I gave him another dose of the pain med. But basically, he’s just slept.
This morning the CNA was unable to give him a bath, because he
seemed to be in too much pain to move him around. I still have no idea why the pain. I gave him more medicine; and the nurse will
be looking into possibly a stronger medicine.
People:
On Monday, the chaplain came by around mid day. He tried to talk to DH, but there’s no way of
knowing how much DH was able to understand, or if his answers to questions were
actually answeres to what was asked (o maybe to what his brain interpreted that
he was asked).
Late in the afternoon TGF came by to bring me something I forgot
from the store, and she stayed and talked awhile. Then DH’s sister came by; and also DSS stopped by.
I could wish all of them hadn’t waited until this point to visit,
but at least they came by.
Emotions:
Numb. Knowing DH will not
be here much longer. Sadness. Also knowing the person I knew has been gone
awhile, and there’s just a body going through it’s last struggle. But I still don’t want him to be in
pain. So I have to look at a lot of
options … and it’s still a guessing game, because I don’t know what will happen
day by day.
This morning DH’s brother called (I am quite positive the sister
called and gave him “what for”!). He
said he will try to come on Thursday. I
hope DH is able to know when his brother comes, because he used to ask for him
so many times.
The CNA and the nurse were here a long time this morning. I also had to call and cancel the clinic
appointment; and the dialysis nurse wants to come see DH. That is very kind of him!
One of the options I discussed with the nurse is the hospice
facility. Up to now it has not been a
consideration, because they don’t do the dialysis. But, they do have 24 hour nurses; and I could
stay there with him. The point being,
they can better control pain. I have no
idea where his pain is coming from, why
he’s suddenly having so much. But
I certainly want whatever it takes to make him comfortable. So the decision is that if we are not able to
keep him comfortable at home, then it’s time to stop the dialysis and put him
where he can not be in pain.
For now, I have meds for him; and as long as he seems to just
sleep relatively peacefully, we won’t “rock the boat”, just let nature take it’s
course. Today? Tomorrow?
Next week? Not longer than that
probably. Because he has the dialesate
(basically, sugar water) at all times, his lack of fluid intake will not affect
him as quickly as it might someone else.
So it comes down to keeping him comfortable.
There is so much I need to do .. and at the same time, nothing I
can do.
Perhaps today I will clean floors.
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