Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Day 301

Day 301
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Physical
DH is definitely going through a phase of sleeping a little less, and not sleeping as soundly as he had been.  I can’t tell if it has to do with how his mind is working or not.  Last night (Tuesday night) he woke around 2:00 and was going to “get up and turn off the red light” .. the light that indicated there is power to the TV!  It wasn’t too hard to convince him to go back to sleep, although he claimed he hadn’t slept at all yet. 
He dozed off and on through the afternoon, but not for more than an hour or so at the most at one time.  He totally refused to eat or drink anything after his pills .. not even the little sweet oranges.  During the afternoon, after waking from a np, he called me and wanted me to “get him up” so he could go see what was behind “that door” (which was actually a window).  But he did not push the issue once I told him it was a window. 
He has not gotten adamant about any of the things in his head recently, but they are very constant.  If I do try to explain something .. for example, that we’re not “going anywhere” because we’re home .. he will simply continue whatever he had been saying as if I had never spoken.  I have learned that in some cases, if I “go along” with whatever he thinks is real, sometimes it makes things worse because he simply can’t let go.  It’s not like he’ll go to sleep and wake up “somewhere else”.
He has also not needed a “major clean up” for 2 days.  That’s good for me, not so sure about for him.
People:
The CAN was here early.  During the afternoon the Social Worker called, and came by for a visit.  I’m never completely sure why she comes .. we just talk about random stuff, and not a lot of it about DH.   But I enjoy her company (when I don’t feel like she’s in a big hurry).  The supply order finally got here about 5:00.
Emotions:
DH said at one point he didn’t want to spend all his time “in one place”.  I don’t even know if he meant the bed, or the room, or what.  But he articulated something tht I’ve been concerned about.  The nurse believes he should be completely bed-bound (at least in part because she believes it’s dangerous for me to be lifting him since he’s so heavy).  I understand that; but the problem is, his mind doesn’t “match” his physical abilities.  It seems like most of the time lately he’s reasonably content to just stay where he is.  At least some of the time he’s not really content, but accepts that I’m being mean to him and not letting him get up.  The scary part is the times he is totally convinced he can get up and do whatever he wants, but just needs me to “help” him get up … or “open the gate” .. or something.  And when he’s in one of these phases where he’s not sleeping as much, he gets bored.  Well, I can understand that too.  When his mind is going off on trips, I guess he entertains himself sort of.  But there are times when there’s nothing but the TV, and nothing on it interests him.  Even if I got him up .. even before we changed things around … he still was only sitting in his chair and mostly going back to sleep.
He’s been partly accepting that he needs to avoid sitting up for the rash to heal; but it is getting better, and I don’t think I’m going to be able to get by with that much longer.  I can tell him that he’s too heavy for me .. but his mind tells him he doesn’t need my help, and so if I refuse he gets either angry or tries very hard to do something for himself that he’s not actually physically able to do

This morning (Wednesday) he seems to be having trouble staying asleep.  He will have to get up soon because it’s clinic appointment day (and it seems like it’s a week earlier this month for some reason).  It’s yet another nasty gray cold day, raining off and on.  I hate to have to take him (or myself!) out in this weather; but as long as it’s not actually raining, we’ll just have to manage.

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