Day 289

Day 289

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Physical:

This was another stay in bed all day kind of day.  DH was told to stay put until the nurse came; and then afterwards, he seemed to be content to stay there.  As long as he didn’t start saying he wants to get up, I don’t push it … especially since the majority of the time he sleeps an average of 20 to 22 hours a day.

The only thing I could get him to eat all day was one pot pie; he refused even the 2^nd protein drink, which is a bit unusual.  I’m beginning to wonder if the dementia is causing a disconnect between mind and body.  His legs are strong if you ask him to push against something; but they won’t support him at all.  He is mostly incontinent, but yet somethings thinks he has to “go” and doesn’t.  I think maybe he can’t tell if he’s hungry, or needs food; and if his mind has told him he’s not hungry, he refuses to eat even when his body clearly needs it.  I don’t know, I’m just guessing.  The nurse says it’s because his body is “slowing down”.  I’m not sure I believe that .. he seems to me to be in too good a shape for that to be an issue.  By “good shape”, I mean that the dialysis is functioning well and doing what it’s supposed to do; all his lab results are in the range they want them to be (other than protein being a little low); his blood pressure, is good,  all the vitals that the nurse checks are “normal”.How can everything be that good, and doctorsnurses tell me he’s “slowing down”?

He didn’t sleep as well last night, though I don’t know why. I didn’t sleep well because the house was chilly (all the heat was going into his room and the bathroom),  plus the wind was shrieking so much I could hear it even from the living room (usually can’t) .. even making the vent in the bathroom bang all night. 

People:

The CAN came early as always.  The volunteer lady came about 11:30 to visit awhile.  The nurse came while the volunteer lady was here.  She got an emergency call while here, so didn’t stay to chat like we usually do.

TGF came by in the late afternoon with some Rx refills she had picked up.

Emotions:

It was nice having a bit of company for a little bit of the day.  I know that’s not practical for every day, but I do wish it could happen a bit more than it does.  I had some projects to do – but in the end, it was just too cold to do anything in the kitchen. 

As soon as things start warming up a little, I really need to start *doing* something.  It’s frustrating to be so limited by poor vision; but there just has to be things I can do, and ways to learn to cope.  The entire past year has been (well, at least to me it has seemed to be) very gray .. more cloudy days than sunny, lots of “extreme” weather.  Spring *should* be right around the corner, and the yard looks like complete crap, and I can’t do much about it.  Gardens that were wonce carefully tended and pretty and just now weedy messes.  When the porch was cleared to make room to get to the water heater, stuff was just thrown out in the yard in back.  And the puppies had a field day with it all.   If the weather ever permits (maybe tomorrow??) I need to just take a rake to the whole mess.  But then what?  I have no way to do anything with it, to get rid of all the junk.  I can barely get DSS to take off regular trash on weekends.  I hate for anyone to come here and the place look so nasty and unkempt.  I love this house, and don’t want to leave it.  But then I look at the yard, and wonder how long we’ll be able to stay if there’s no way to properly take care of the place.

This morning (Friday) DH told the CAN that he was tired because he hadn’t slept for 2 days .. because he’d been moving.  Then he told her we had to move “all this crap” in the bedroom.  I think this must be a variation of the “I want to go home” mind set.

Sometimes I think I’m getting better at dealing with everything.  And then I have days where I cry all day; or get way more frustrated than any given circumstance merits.  But I still think a lot of it has to do with this cold gray weather.  I hope.