Day 302

Day 302

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Physical

This day was, again, different.  If there is any “rhyme or reason”, or cycle, I guess I will not be able to figure it out.  Unlike the last 5 days, he did not wake up by mid morning.  Since he had a clinic appointment, I had thought he would.  As it turned out, it was so cold and rainy I didn’t want to risk taking him out and catching a cold.  I was able to postpone his appointment until next week (although it’s now looking like we’ll have the exact same conditions to deal with anyway).  He slept until past noon; and even when he woke up, he took his pills and drink laying down.  He did finally want to sit up to eat a doughnut.  He watched a little TV, and then wanted to lay back down without the TV on.  He slept the rest of the afternoon, and I woke him around 5:00.  He stayed awake, but sort of sleey .. and even admitted he was afraid he wouldn’t sleep at night after sleeping all day. 

He would only eat one hot dog for super; but at least he did drink 2 glasses of the protein drink.

He woke once during the night, around 3:00.  I just told him it was 3 in the morning and too cold to throw the covers off.  He didn’t argue and went on back to sleep.  I woke him when the CAN came; and so far he’s gone right on back to sleep.

People:

The CAN was here at her usual time.  DSS got here early to take DH to his appointment.  We talked while we waited to see if the nurse would call back about changing the appointment.  Close to noon DSS went on and left.

Emotions:

Mornings (some more than others) are so scrambled, I don’t really know what I’m feeling.  Since DH has gone back to waking up during the night, I’m gain dealing with “broken” sleep patterns.  I feel a lot more grumpy and sad when I’m tired.  And, of course it was yet another gray wet cold day. 

Today (Thursday) is supposed to be a lot warmer, and (more important) sunny.  It’s not there yet, but does look like it could be heading that way.  It could also be a busy day; or at least some of it.  The CAN has come and gone.  The nurse could come – any time.  I never know.  The volunteer, and her boss, are supposed to come in a couple of hours.  I don’t know how long they’ll stay (but the volunteer is supposed to help me sort spices; and maybe earrings if there’s time (hard for me to match up pairs any more).

I’m not in a “bad” mood today, just feeling tired and faintly stressed.  I can never guess what DH will do and when; plus not knowing when people are going to be here.  It seems like it (mostly) gets bunched up .. like so many all coming on Thursday (the social worker was an exception this week).  But there are so many days when I have no contact with anyone beyond the CAN (and not even that on Saturdays).

I guess I’m still a bit sleepy.  I feel groggy, out of sorts.  At least I don’t feel sad, so maybe even the hope of sunshine is helping!

It would probably also help if I could figure out a way to get my day better organized, and find time to eat breakfast.  I used to have a reasonably good schedule.  With the change in CAN time, everything changed, and I just haven’t gotten it figured out yet.  Too much happens too early .. and then the rest of the day stretches out so long!  And when I can’t find time for “real” breakfast, I end up snacking all day (and never really find what I want).  Some days (like today) it’s so late before the “routine” stuff is done (and in between checking on DH, taking him pills, et) that it’s too late for breakfast and too early for lunch and I just don’t know what I want.

I want my life back.  Oh wait.  I didn’t really have one anyway.  This IS my life.