Day 58

Day 58

Sunday, May 25, 2014

I hate having a cold.  They’re “normal” . nothing to go to a doctor about or anything.  Just enough to feel miserable for a few days.  My nose is running like a train, and I can barely take a breath without coughing.  Actually, this morning (Monday) it *might* be fractionally better. They never last long, though the cough tends to linger.  Yesterday was rough.  I felt too drained to do anything; but if I sat still too long, I got too stopped up. 

I found a bottle of liquid Tylenol of some sort.  It doesn’t help much, but anything is better than nothing.  TGF will come get me later this morning and take me to get something to keep symptoms under control for … maybe a week or so I guess.

I did sleep better than I expected last night .. partly exhaustion I’m sure … but woke by 5:00 and had to get up to breathe.  My poor nose is so sore!

I am in personal conflict.  I don’t really like *being* alone all the time .. but I find I do like *living* alone.  I’m intensely annoyed  that people make free with my house, and are inconsiderate of my possessions.  I know there are those who think I have “too much junk” .. but it’s MY junk, and MY decision what to do with it or whether it’s time to let it go.  I’ve had to give up having my dining table all set and looking pretty, at least until I get back from the coming trip.  I find things where they don’t belong  … things that there shouldn’t have been any reason for anyone to touch to start with.  I find furniture moved around … which actually can be a problem for me, but other people don’t seem to realize that; or don’t care.  They do seem to think it’s funny when I bump into or trip over things.  I don’t think the bruises on my legs are funny at all, but oh well.

I have a feeling I’m repeating myself a lot; but my head feels like a water balloon, and *thinking* seems to be too hard to do right now.

Yesterday the day was more or less divided between checking email (having a “conversation” with my BFF, whom I’m very disappointed not to get to visit tomorrow as originally planned, but hoping I can persuade TGF into a day trip later in June); watching HGTV reruns (and really, even HGTV is starting to loose it’s appeal when I can’t actually tell what they’re doing to houses; and the house hunter type shows are getting more and more boring).  Since DSS did finally take a lot of the random stuff out of the bedroom, I consolidated what was left to one table.  My candle boxes are now on the other 2 tables; but  I have to wait for someone to help me with the candles.  This is a huge step backward for me and a big disappointment.  I have tons of candles in many colors, and have loved using them in my collection of glass candle holders.  Now I can no longer do this without help … I can’t tell pink and yellow apart, or blue and purple.  It’s so depressing.

I emptied the shelf unit in the guest room that I will be giving to TGF.  She can’t take it until she has a classroom to put it in, but at least it’s empty and ready to go.  Everything fit on the empty unit in the hall, with most of one lower shelf still empty.  There were a lot more of those darn boxes of old magazines!!!  Right now they are all piled on the dining table … they’re much too heavy to put in bags.  And after 2 ½ years of being overwhelmed with boxes  … I now have none to put those magazines in to take them to the dump!! 

I seriously considered going ahead with the trunk moving project I have in mind.  But, DSS just won’t return my little hand-truck, though I’ve asked many times.  I’m not actually sure it would help anyway; I probably could just push them where I want them to be.  But I don’t think I could do it right now with this cold … and that project will surely stir up loads of dust which will make things much worse for my breathing (the only thing I’m allergic to).  So I have not much choice but leave well enough alone and wait … as usual … for other people to do what they’ve said they would do.

I’m very grumpy this morning, because I don’t feel good.  I’m frustrated and discouraged … but really, I think it’s just the silly cold.  It is hard to be “upbeat” .. which apparently I’ve never been very good at to start with … when you just don’t feel good.  I should be feeling grateful that I didn’t feel so bad when I had to take care of DH.  And when I feel better, I will be able to look at it that way.  Right now, I’m just tired of it all.

I hope getting in a nice hot shower is going to help!