Day 53

Day 53

(Monday and) Tuesday, May 21, 2014

Monday was a very quiet day.  DIL and I watched some old TV shows (Netflix).  When she went out for a doctor’s appointment, I read.

Monday night was DGS13’s band concert.  I enjoyed the performances very much!  There is clearly a lot of support for music in this area.

Tuesday was a lazier day.  DIL didn’t feel well (is not into yet another med adjustment – her doctors really don’t know what to do!).  We watched some old TV, and “African Queen”.

Tuesday night was DGD16’s band concert.  It was also very good.  But it was held in the jr. high auditioriu, because the high school one isn’t big enough.  Those seats were designed for little kids!!! Not very comfortable … but the music was well worth a little discomfort!

My DIL has also help me go through a stack of mail (and got it filed into folders), and filled out a survey for hospice. 

I’m almost dreading going home Friday.  As of yesterday, DSS had still not bothered to pick up the trash.  TGF said if he didn’t get it she would .. but I know there’s not enough room in the car for it, so she wouldn’t bother to empty the outside cans.  And, she’s been doing laundry.  I guess that means either DSS didn’t get paid yet, or there were too many bills to pay for her to have Laundromat money.   So much for getting my electric bill down .. now it’s being run back up even when I’m not home   I should have expected this … they seem to feel I’m somehow obligated to help support them.  When I have no money to give them, they’ll just take it out in other ways .. using my house for laundry (which means someone there all day, TV on, lgiths on, using the kitchen, possibly running the a/c colder than I would), nad running washer and dryer (and all that water also runs up the electric by running the pump).  It’s very discouraging.  Regardless of any advice I’ve been given, I’m afraid I’m going to be forced to move somewhere cheaper; and I really resent that my bills could be run up when I’m not even home.  But, I have no choice but depend on her to look out for the cats.  I hope I’m not going to be forced to give them up too.

Clearly, at some point I’ve done something really really awful.  Karma is paying me back.  I’ve lost my husband; I’m losing my vision; people I thought were friends have abandoned me; and famiy I have no choice but depend on is using me and putting me deeper into a hole I have no way out of.

I guess I’ll have to deal with all that later, after the travelling is done.  I’ll only have 3 days at home before going west .. that’s enough time to do laundry, reclean my house, and *maybe* pack up the last of any spring stuff.  I don’t know if I’ll bother with my summer things this year.  Just doesn’t seem worth it any more … I can’t really see it (i.e., candles on the mantle), and no one else really cares.  Anyway,  I will enjoy the rest of this visit and then deal with what I can .. and go off again.    Summer will be here soon enough to figure things out.