Day 42

Day 42

Friday, May 9, 2014

This day (Friday) was not one of my better days.  Even though I know I should expect days like that, they always catch me off guard.  There was nothing specifically wrong; at least, not anything “important”.  The remote to the living room TV (which is the one I watch almost exclusively lately) suddenly quit working.  Again.  I put new batteries in it.  Again.  But it still wouldn’t work.  I tried changing the direction of the batteries multiple times (keeping in mind all of this is difficult when I’m doing it primarily by feel, and using a flashlight to try to determine which end is which).  But nothing worked.  I couldn’t even turn the stupid thing off, so had to unplug the TV (yes, I know there’s an on/off switch somewhere .. I just have no idea where it is). So, if I watched TV I had to go to the den .. and even though I used to all but live in there, I now find it less comfortable.  I *hope* TGF or DSS will try to get the remote working at some point over the weekend, though I’m not at all sure I’ll even see them other than at today’s graduation.  Last resort, I can call Dish and have them send me a replacement remote .. only takes a few weeks.

That is not enough to ruin a day.  So even though it’s very annoying, it’s not the end of the world.  So why did I feel weepy and grumpy?  I have no idea.

I did get the house vacuumed, finally.  I was hoping the noise of the vacuum would get that cat to run towards a room where I could “trap” him … but apparently he’s not afraid of it.  I guess he’s just going to live with me.

I tweaked a few more odds and ends; but basically, I’ve done pretty much all I can until more stuff gets sorted and/or taken away.  I have a lot of thngs on the hall shelves I was hoping someone would help me sort … apparently that’s just not going to happen.   Once I get rid of stuff, I hope no one comes up to me later saying “I wanted” this or that.  Too bad if they do, I’ve tried to give everyone a chance to speak up or come over.

And even that attitude is being grumpy.  Well, it seems that once you get about a month or so out from losing a loved one …. No one cares any more.  I knew that would happen, but I did think it would last a little longer.  Yes, I do know, people have lives of their own.  Things to do, places to go.  I am not anyone’s responsibility.

I’m just sad.

I decided it’s time to make arrangements to say a final goodbye.  I set a date … mostly based on when DS and DSS were “free” in between various school or summer activities for the grands.  So far none of “my” family will be able to come (though I haven’t heaerd from everyone yet).  I asked my SIL to check with DH’s family … she’s usually pretty good about that, but I haven’t talked to her in a few days.

I didn’t sleep well, probably because I knew I needed to get up so early.  I woke around 3:30; and after that, although I did sleep, I “tossed and turned”, and had odd dreams.  For now I’m OK, but it sure will be a long day.  TGF’s friend is supposed to pick me up in about an hour.  I still have things to get done to be ready, but I think I’ll manage.  If I get off the computer.

Hopefully today will be busy enough (and be spent with people) so I won’t feel sad or whiny.  NO ONE likes to be around a whiny person (no matter how good their excuse is).  I don’t want to be that person!