Day 252

Day 252

Thursday, January 30 2014

Physical:

As usual, I shouldn’t try to *guess* what will happen from one day to the next.  On Thursday DH was determined to get out of bed fairly early in the morning.  I put him off to mid morning (because the longer he is up, the greater the chance he’s going to be over tired and need a nap.  I’m trying not to be mean .. but the fact is, it’s getting harder and harder to move him, and I have to limit how many times that happens).  Once up, he stayed up until about 8:30 (extra episode of “Big Bang” on Thursdays).  At one point in the afternoon he stated he was going to “get up and walk to the bathroom”.  Fortunately, he was in the reclined position and had forgotten about the control button.  He asked me to “help him sit up” .. which clued me to what was going on.  I persuaded him he didn’t need to get up just then, but it was difficult.   I carefully explained to him that even though his mind says he can walk, the message doesn’t go to his legs and if he tries to stand up he’ll fall.  He said OK, he understiid wgat I was saying.  And that he was only going to walk to the bathroom. L

He ate about “normal” I guess.  A sandwich for lunch.  I made oven fried chicken for supper.  I had a package of “drumettes” instead of full wings .. and he loved that.  I only got a smaller pack this time, and he ate all of them.

He slept well, though has been doing a lot of coughing this morning (Friday). 

People:

The nurse called to check on us; that was it.  It was a rather long day, without talking to or seeing anyone at all.  Kind like most Saturdays.

Emotions:

I’m doing a lot better at keeping myself “under control”.  I guess I had to go through a period of adjustment; and on top of that, holidays are always an emotional time.

Things are sort of leveling out; and also I have something very positive to look forward to (2 weeks from today).  I’m still tired most of the time; but as long as DH has better nights, so do I; and that helps.  I’ve settled into a little bit of a routine ..  by the time I get DH in bed and has had all his pills, I can barely stay awake.  If he has a good night, I can get 4 to 6 hours; but then I’m awake.  As long as it’s not before 5:00, I have adjusted … I get on up, and have a couple of hours of good energy to get stuff done.  That’s when nearly all of the Christmas packing up has gotten done.  I quit fighting it, and give in to an afternoon nap (although once in awhile, to my surprise, I don’t actually sleep .. but it’s still a period of rest).

I’m not saying I don’t get depressed or discouraged still.  I get very weepy spells.  The silliest things can set me off on a crying jag.  And sometimes pure exhaustion can make simple things become huge obstacles.

I think lately I’ve been a little complacent.  DH has not had any episodes of extreme agitation (instating he was in a car, etc.).  And I’ve gotten better at dealing with it when he goes there.  Even on the days he doesn’t want to stay in bed all day, he’s sleeping more and more of the time.  And when he’s awake, he’s 150% convinced that whatever  he thinks he’s done or been is absolutely real.  (example: when I was explaining about his legs not working, he very indignantly replied that just “yesterday” he had gone upstairs and made his bed.  What an odd thing to say – he’s NEVER made the bed!)  On one hand it’s like things are going along fairly calmly and I’m dealing well enough (other than the getting up and down stuff).  But at the same time .. I’m waiting for the “other shoe to drop”.

My yard is still covered with snow.  Because of the orientation of my house, the sun doesn’t get to the porch and driveway so it’s going to take a lot longer for that to clear.  Schools are out again, for the 4^th day; back roads are still icy and dangerous.  It looks like our road is fairly clear.  As far as I know, the nurse is planning to try to get here today.    The CAN is coming, but not until in the afternoon.  So, it’s a wait and see what happens sort of day.