Day 248
Sunday, January 26 2014
Physical:
For the 3rd day in a row, DH was content to spend
the majority of the day in bed. He didn’t
even want the TV on. He told me he’d
been at a flea market all night and was tired.
I got him up after getting home from shopping, and he watched TV for
awhile. He started watching a movie, and
really wanted to see it all. But by
close to 10:00 he couldn’t hold out any more and was ready to go to bed.
He was wakeful, but not restless, in the early morning
hours. He didn’t know where he was or
how he got there; I’m pretty sure he also didn’t know who I was then
either. Once again he wouldn’t eat
much. He took his pills with his
nutrition drink, but went back to sleep and refused any lunch. He ate one pot pie for supper, and didn’t
even want another (usually he does).
Eople:
DSS stayed with DH as usual.
He never got him out of bed, but did take him a glass of water. TGF and I got grocery shopping done. She fixed pot pies for everyone (they all
love them too, and they were on sale. I’m
the “odd man out” who doesn’t care for them, but I had plenty of other
options).
The boys got all the trash out – didn’t forget anything this
time. In fact, I haven’t found anything
at all left behind. That is very
strange!
Emotions:
Wow. I’ve been through
a lot (of emotions) this week. It is
easier on me physically when DH stays in bed .. but I worry a lot more. I don’t know why .. is he just cold? He keeps saying he has a cold, does he feel
bad? Is he really just “slowing down”
that much? He’s clearly getting weaker;
but so much inactivity would make anyone weaker. The nurse keeps saying his lungs sound clear
.. but actually, no one is testing his lung function any more. He sounds like he’s struggling to breathe a
lot of the time, especially at night.
Yesterday I discovered a MAJOR mistake on my part. I paniced .. this is completely
unacceptable. I know I’m over tired, and
get distracted way too easily.
Still. Apparently Saturday night
I didn’t hit the “start” button on the dialysis machine. On Sunday, I didn’t hurry to disconnect
(other than close clamps) so I wouldn’t disturb DH since he was sleeping so
much. At noon I decided I had to wrap it
up so I could finish bagging trash.
Note: I cannot really “read” the writing on the screen on the
machine. But I can tell the different
color bar across the top. At the
beginning of the process it’s blue, and I press “next” and it starts. At the end there’s a blue bar, and I press “next”
and get a beep and another blue bar screen.
I have to press “next” again, and get another beep, and then it begins a
summary. So, there was a blue bar, so I
hit “next” expecting a beep. Instead it
went directly to a green bar .. and began the process!!! So, he had no dialysis over night.
Way back last spring a dialysis nurse told me tht if we
stopped doing the dialysis he would probably only survive about 3 days. That makes me panic over missing one
night. However, the current nurse
indicated he thought that was a “low” estimate, that it would be longer (but
not by more than a few days).
Nevertheless, missing a night is BAD.
I went on and let it start, thinking I’d just let it go until I got back
from shopping, stop the process (he’d get about half the usual treatment,
better than nothing). But, on the 2nd
drain cyce (out of 6), the alarm went off.
And absolutely nothing I could do would make it continue the drain
process. I finally just turned it off. Last night DSS did the heparin injections;
but there wasn’t enough for but half the bags.
(I have requested more, but it hasn’t come yet). In any case, it ran all night with no problem
at all. It’s probably got 3 to 3 ½ hours
left to go; hopefully with no problems.
Last night I managed to stay awake for a large part of the
gramy awards. I watched the remaining
Beatles perform, and felt nostalgically sad.
When did I get so old? I did not
enjoy the program for the most part; and parts of it I found extremely
distasteful. But I just *had* to see
Ringo and Sir Paul. They got old too and
that made me sad.
I am having a hard time getting motivated to get this day
going. I had to push myself to go on and
get up and dressed, because I have no idea what time the landlord will be here
to fix the water heater. Not at all likely
this early – but who knows. And I never
know what time the CAN will come (and wonder if she’ll even be able to get here
later in the week). I haven’t head from
the volunteer lady, from my SIL, or even from the social worker. I really hate when people say they’re going
to do something .. call, come over, whatever .. and then just don’t do what
they say.
I’ve been up about 3 hours.
DH is sleeping soundly and doesn’t get more pills for another hour and a
half. I think I need to try to take a
quick nap!
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