Day 247

Day 247

Satursday, January 25 2014

Physical:

DH very nearly spent all day in bed again.  His room was very chilly, and instead of getting up he wanted extra covers.  I added a quilt to the 2 fleece blankets and 2 heavy cotton weave ones (one of those was doubled).  I would think all that would be heavy!!  I woke him up sometime after nooonish, so he could get his pills before so late in the day.  He watched TV all afternoon, dozed off and on; refused to eat anything, even snacks.  Around 4:30 I got him up by telling him it was warmer in the other room (it was). 

He was very confused all afternoon, kept wanting me to tell his wife where he was.  At one time he even told me he had 2 wives … he knew I was one, and the other was “Betty”.  I had to keep telling him she knew where he was!

Once I got him up, he did stay awake and watch TV.  I cooked a frozen pizza for supper, and he ate half of it … guess he was hungrier than he thought.

By 8:00 he was ready to go back to bed, and settled down quickly.  He slept well all night .. it’s now after 6:30 Sunday morning and he hasn’t stirred at all.

People:

DH never saw anyone today, although there were people here briefly.

TGF and the boys came by to help clear all the stuff in back of the porch that was blocking the water heater.  I didn’t think she’d have time on a Saturday, so it surprised me.  It didn’t take very long (although there’s an awfully big mess to get cleaned up – a lot of it in the yard now – as soon as it’s warm enough; maybe in April when DGS14 is here on spring break).. 

The boys went next door to see if their dad was home .. the oldest daughter came over and borrowed the phone to  call her dad, and he came right over.  He turned off the water (panic!), and gave us the landlord’s phone #.  Funny, in all the years we’ve lived here, I’ve never actually had his number (well, technically the landlord’s son, but he handles everything and has asked that we not disturb his mom with stuff because she has a heart problem).  TGF has it in her phone .. today I will get it so in an emergency I don’t have to wait until the gas company is open!

He came by, quickly saw that there was a broken water line behind the heater.  He turned the water on (YAY), and turned it off to the heater from inside the unit.  He asked if I’d be OK without hot water until Monday.  I guess if I’d said it was a big problem he’d have tried to find a way to fix it then; but it was late Saturday afternoon, and very cold.  Yes, I can get by heating water until Monday.    Once that gets fixed, maybe it will solve (or at least help) the horribly low pressure at the kitchen sink.

Emotions:

I was so up and down today I didn’t nknow what to do.  I made a lot of progress on packing up Christmas .. though I’m at the stage where it doesn’t exactly show.  But many trips up and down stairs really wore me out.  I guess if DH had wanted to be up at a “normal” time I wouldn’t have been able to handle all the stairs.  In early afternoon when TGF came by I went out and helped (not much) with getting stuff away from the water heater.  Even though I wasn’t outside long, I still managed to get chilled through. 

When I got DH up, I was surprised at how hard it was!  It was really a struggle getting him into the wheelchair (though by the time he was ready for bed it was a little easier).  I was so tired and shaky, I took a longer time than usual getting dialysis set up. 

Once I had him settled in and all his pills, I was finally able to stop for the day.  The wind had slaced off a lot, so the den was not so cold.  As usual, I fell asleep before the end of the 9:00 show I wanted to watch (probably at least partly because it was a rerun!!) .. and didn’t wake until 5:00 AM!!  That’s the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time .. but I can’t let myself get burnt out every day just to get some sleep!  There has to be a balance.

I think the nurse will say that DH is closer to the point where he’ll stay in bed most of the time.  He has more days like that, but I don’t think he’s as near that point as she thinks.  He has spells … several times a week .. where he wakes early and is adamant about getting up.  More often now I’m able to settle him and he goes back to sleep; but that’s not every day.  He does have fewer days where he’s completely “alert” … but that has nothing to do with his physical condition.  It’s really hard when his mind and his body are at such different places.

It’s now 19 days until I get a weekend break.  There’s still a part of me that feels guilty for going off and leaving DH … but I need the break.  He won’t be neglected; in fact there will be more people here (DS, DDIL, 2 grands) than are usually here, so he’ll get lots of attention.

In late February 2013 he went to the hospital with an infection.  It was actually being treated by the dialysis nurse; but the Duke doctors wanted him brought in anyway to evaluate his confusion and see if there was a secondary infection that hadn’t been detected.  I don’t remember how long he was there .. about a week, maybe a bit more.  I know it crossed over to early March.  It was during that stay that he was officially given a diagnosis of “vascular dementia”.  I firmly believe his doctors had known that for a long time, but it hadn’t been diagnosed until they had a neurologist test him.  In any case, it was at that time I was told very specifically that he could not be left alone at all.  At that time he was still ambulatory, but very unstable and subject to frequent falls. I’ve not had more than a few hours “off” since then.

For well over 2 years I’ve had to do all of the dialysis set up (and break down).  The only time I got a “break” was when he was in the hospital; but it’s now been the longest stretch in many years that he’s not been hospitalized for anything.  I can’t help but wonder if his lack of contact with “the public” … especially in doctor’s offices and clinics .. hasn’t contributed to him NOT getting sick!!  He now has a nurse checking him every week .. but she’s not preventing him from getting sick; she would catch it quickly if he was, and treat accordingly (although he has had a cold for awhile now, and nothing done for that.  Maybe there really isn’t any particular treatment).

I know I’m coming across as complaining all the time.  I’m just so tired.  Right now I feel “OK” .. but soon my day wil start, and I fizzle much too quickly.  If DH has a day where he keeps wanting to be up and down a lot, it’s even more difficult.  In the past week he had a couple of days where every 3 hours, approximately, he wanted to change where ever he was.  But then he went into a full day and most of a day in bed (although to be fair, at least some of that was the cold.  He has always really hated being cold!) 

It’s nearly daylight now.  I’m going to heat another kettle of water (already did dishes) and try to get washed up and my hair washed before DH is ready to get up.   Because it’s errand day, I won’t wear myself out with going upstairs.  Instead I’ll get trash all bagged and ready to be taken off.  Also I will go around and try to round up bits and pieces scattered around that need to be packed.

Today will be “warmer” (in the 40s – above freezing!!), calm (no high winds) … and sunny!!!  I’m hoping for a good day.