Wednesday, January 22 2014
Physical:
This was another up and down day. Meaning DH wanted to be up and down! I guess he got rested up; by morning he was wanting to get up. The hospice office was on 2 hour delay (because of weather), but not everyone followed that. After getting a bath, he was clear about wanting to get up. After about 2 ½ hours, he insisted on laying down. He napped about 2 ½ hours and wanted up again. He was up for 3 ½ hours before bedtime. The one *good* thing was he did not insist on an additional up and down on the commode. It almost feels like there’s a tiny bit of progress on getting him to understand that’s not a good option any more; but then, he may be only going through a cooperative mood.
He refused to eat any lunch, but did eat some chips after his nap. I believe he just wanted to graze on jelly beans! He ate 2 good sized bowls of his sister’s homemade soup for supper.
This morning (early Thursday) he was awake off and on since very early; around 6:00 I took him the early pill and got him settled. He was wanting to get up. Also, he had his O2 off .. said he “found” the tube coming out of his shirt and pulled it out. Thank goodness he didn’t decide to pull on the dialysis tubing, though he did have it wound up a bit. He had also gotten the elastic band (supposed to hodl the catheter when not on dialysis so it doesn’t dangle and risk getting damaged) tangled up. I have no idea how he did that, it wasn’t unfastened.
People:
The CAN came earlier than I expected considering the weather. She said her other patients had cancelled because of bad road conditions. They weren’t bad here; we didn’t get much snow. Not long after she left the nurse came.
Apparently one of her patients (or family member) had complained about her. She asked if she’d ever offended us, and would we tell her if she had. Hmmm. She never has; there have been times I thought her manner was a touch off-putting. But she may not have felt well then. Certainly she’s never been offensive! But .. she does have a touch of briskness to her manner, so I guess I can see how someone could take offense. But I don’t think I’d tell her .. but I also wouldn’t call behind her back and complain.
Emotions:
There has been more “company” lately for various reasons. I didn’t hear from the volunteer this week, but I did know she had car trouble. I hope she calls today. My SIL has come more often, and there’s at least an outside chance she’ll come today.
It’s a bit discouraging to not have many friends. People I used to think were, turn out not to be. There are 2 ladies I still can consider friends. One has medical issues; and lives far enough away that it’s not easy to coordinate a visit. I won’t try to organize anything around the medical people that come here. The other friend .. well, it’s too cold. And when it stops being too cold, I guess she’ll find other excuses. She told me about a year ago that she completely “understood” my position. I mistakenly thought that meant she’d be available when I needed help, or just company. No, it meant she had gone through a similar experience and couldn’t bear to be around us now.
I think there must be something fundamentally wrong with me. I have tried to reach out to people .. like people I used to work with that I thought were friends .. and I just get rebuffed. If I’m not a nice person, I don’t know how to be someone else. I really don’t want to be sad all the time; but I don’t want to be tired all the time either, and there’s really no way around that for now.
It was another early morning for me. But a lady is coming today to help get the attic under control, so I have to get myself organized and ready to go. If my SIL comes today, she will help too. But who knows.
For now, DH has gone back to sleep and I better rush to get a shower and get other stuff done while I can!
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