Day 122

Day 122

Monday, July 28, 2014

It’s somewhere a little after 3:30 in the morning.  I hate being awake in the middle of the night!  I don’t know what woke me.  But there’s a tree frog or cricket or something either in the den or the window.  I thought it was a squeaking fan at first.  Then I followed the sound, except of course it stops as soon as I get close to the room.  Even with the light on, it starts up again after a few minutes.  It’s loud and annoying and keeping me awake.  And I have no clue what to do about it.  (apparently it’s not a noise that’s attracking Maggie’s hunter instincts).

I did manage to get a lot done.  I didn’t check very many things off the list .. several areas are worked on but not completed yet.  And I took “time out” to do some straightening .. a few areas were getting so cluttered again it was hard to tell what I still needed to do.  It’s also so very annoying that there is so much that needs to be out of the house so I can tell what I still have to work on.    The table is piled up again .. I keep finding tools!! 

I added more to the yardsale pile; and took time to start another box to keep it contained.  TGF had said she’d come over and take another car load.  That didn’t happen.  In the evening I finally got an email, telling me that she had *meant* to come; but she didn’t get up until 11:30.  Really??  She’s all about how much she wants to help me but sleeps half the day??  Then she decided to start cleaning house before she left, and then a friend came over.  And then she got a call and had to start hunting for some papers she needs.  Well, there goes the day.  And the irony is, she sent an email all about how worried she is about me and wants to “take care” of me and make sure I’m OK and get moved and all; and also that she’s starting to panic because there’s so little time left.  Let’s see now.  She decided the yardsale will be this Saturday.  I wasn’t consulted, but since she’s “in charge” of it, it doesn’t really matter (except she needs to check the weather report!).  And other than prepping for the yardsale and getting that done, the only other things from her involve help by taking me somewhere I need to be.  And I have to pay for gas (NOT to pay her to take me, but because she never has any money for gas).  She’s done very little in the way of actually helping me go through any area here .. drawers, cabinets, closets, nothing.  And certainly hasn’t helped me pack a single box.  So why is she the one worried about getting it done?  I have at times mentioned specific things I need help with (involving paperwork I can’t read or something on the computer I need help with) …. But she so far hasn’t had any time to deal with that.  I guess I’m supposed to just pack upall the boxes and take them with me .. just stick in the middle of the floor in my room to trip over …  and hope I never actually need any important papers.

I know I’m grumpier in the middle of the night.  I’d rather be asleep.  And I can’t even access the internet.  I can’t tell if soemthing’s wrong with my computer or if the sites just aren’t working right now.  It’s not internet, I’m connected.  I can open MSN.  But when I click on my email,  I get what appears (to my limited vision at least) an incomplete page.  I can tell where the folders are supposed to be, but nothing is a clickable link; and the center is just blank. Nothing opens, nothing works.  It’s scary. It looks like I can post to the blog … that doesn’t seem a very efficient way to communicate!!  I really hate changing email addresses, but I guess I’m going to have to.  I’ve had trouble off and on with Hotmail (which changed to outlook).  I can access Google (gmail).  But since my vision is so limited, a lot of the time I go by the way I’ve memorized where things are rather than actually reading them.  With Google I have no folders, so everything is jumbled all together.  That is extremely frustrating.

I think the outlook page might be trying to load, but I can’t really tell.  I think I’ll just leave it open and see what happens later.  I’m going to turn the TV on and see if it will put me back to sleep for a few more hours.

It’s now nearly 8:00.  I did finally get another hour of sleep.  Not nearly enough, but the day must go on.  I had turned the computer off, and tried again.  Now I’m worried.  I cannot open my bank account (“this page unavailable”).  And my Hotmail (outlook) page is doing the same as before, it appears to be loading but doesn’t complete.  I tried going to Google, but that’s impossible right now.  I do not know how to navigate it; and I can’t enlaorge enough to read it.  When enlarged, the page will not scroll from side to side.  I need to just learn where different functions are.   And even when I do that … I don’t have access to my address list.  This is really infuriating and frustrating.  I know my computer is a few years old; but I’ve never had any serious problems.  And I have absolutely no way of knowing if this is a computer problem .. but it seems to be since I do have internet, and could open Google with no trouble.  I’m very close to just giving up altogether .. and being completely shut off from contact with anyone any more. 

Having to try to deal with this after a bad night just makes everything worse.  TGF said she will come today, get trash out (stinky trash in the house didn’t help things any last night/this morning).   I have no way of knowing when. 

I guess I might as well go on and get a shower and be ready for today anyway.