Day 112

Day 112

Friday, July 18, 2014

The day went about as I expected .. quiet and semi productive.  I’m getting a little frustrated in that I only seem to be moving things around.  That’s a waste of energy I think; but I have to have things a little organized so I can figure out what I need to be doing.

I’m still flitting from one thing to another, but I guess it’s OK as long as I get something done in each area.  One bathroom drawer is emptied, and the things I need to keep (not much!) in one place.  But the other 2 drawers will be harder to sort. 

I have emptied all the drawers in the big dresser I use in the dining room … batteries, tape, etc.  The things are all sorted into large baggies, but I don’t want to put them in a box yet.  I might need to use tape or batteries; and I suspect I will be adding extension cords to the bags.

The biggest thing I accomplished was to finally (sadness) dismantle the big white tree.  I don’t have anything big enough to put it in, so it’s behind a chair in the den for now.  The empty corner gave me a single place to start stacking books to be donated.  I have gone through 3 different places where books were congregated.  People go through them, but they stay there, and I can’t tell.  So from now on everything will go into the corner.  Actually, if anyone plans to go through any more, they better do it soon (as in DSS, so I will let him know).  I know TGF said she wanted some, but kept putting off picking them out or putting what she wanted in one place.  I’ve put aside some I *think* she wanted (keeping in mind it’s very hard to determine what they are .. in some cases, I just had to guess).  I’ve had some help sorting books, but at the time didn’t have a good place to put them; and mostly no one has had time to do that.  There are a LOT of books … and this is after a very great many of them have gone out the door.   And I’m embarrassed to admit how many I put aside to keep.  Mostly they are cookbooks, and I use the excuse that DN and I can go tho=rough them for interesting recipes to try. 

I have 3 smallish stacks on the table to be sorted, and 2 more shelves on a bookcase under the stairs.  I haven’t tackled the ones in the front hall, most were DH’s.  DSS took a lot, but has hinted that he wants to go through them again.

I have no more books on my Kindle to read.  TV last night was boring reruns.  And I can’t find the right place on the Kindle for videos (I know I have some movies stored on it … just couldn’t find them.  Drat!)  So I fell asleep too early out of sheer exhaustion and boredom.  Naturally, I woke around 3:00.  Maggie helped with that .. she was bumping something and I couldn’t tell what (most of “her” places have been cleared).  It finally got to me enough to get up … and found her on one of the built in desk shelves.  I moved her (she wasn’t very pleased, but didn’t “argue”).  And then for some reason started clearing the top of the desk.  I pushed everything on the shelf to the back and sides; and put a few things from the desk there.  The rest got sorted, some to trash and some to a plastic bin a small things I can’t identify.  I think the only things left on the desk now are the phone, a stack of notebooks (related to moving), and a pile of photo albums.  Oh, and 6 small flashlights.  I’ve always tried to have one of those easily available in every room in case of power going out .. which it has always done at odd random times here, not necessarily during a storm.  But over the years they’ve gotten moved around, or the children played with them and left them just anywhere, etc.  So as I’ve come across them I’ve put them all in one place.   Since I’m used to moving around in the dark, I figure I can find one if I need it easily enough.  And I know I have enough for one for each room in the apartment.

Anyway, at some point I did finally go back to sleep; and then didn’t get up until around 7:00, and feeling a bit groggy.  Interrupted sleep does not bode well for a productive day .. and add in that it’s a completely gray day.  Supposedly very little chance of rain, and cooler.  But gray all the same, meaning a lack of light for me.  Just because I’m used to the dark doesn’t mean I like it!!  Soone enough (hopefully years yet, but I don’t know) my world will be completely dark.  I crave all the light I can get .. and yet, without overly bright direct light.  I know, it doesn’t make sense.  I never claimed to “make sense”!

My SIL called last night.  She is home and doing well enough.  She did not get stents after all .. her blockage was in a “Y” area, so it was ballooned out instead, and her meds strength doubled. 

TGF was due home sometime last night from her trip.  I’ve not heard a word from her, so no idea what’s going on.  I expect I’ll hear from her eventually … to do laundry if nothing else.  But possibly not until Monday.

I do hear from DN pretty much every day.  But since I’m struggling with the sorting and packing while she is doing a lot of the more fun planning, it’s a little depressing.  I keep reminding myself of all the benefits of the move.  But it’s still frustrating and discouraging to not know what I can or can’t do .. and also to be *told* I can’t do this or that, or can’t bring this or that.

I guess it’s just as well I don’t have too much help with this sorting and packing process.  I’m sure I will end up with way too much stuff, and have to put a lot into storage.  I just have no way of knowing until I’m actually there.  I have this fear that people are treating me like visually impaired equals stupid.  If they were to “help” me, I believe things I treasure would be just thrown away.  And I’d end up in a room with my chair, my dresser, a TV, and little else.  There has to be a middle ground, and I feel very much on my own to find it. 

It’s not helping that my mental image of the apartment keeps shrinking!  I can’t locate the one picture I’ve been sent (not ours, but a similar one).  And my mind keeps making it smaller.  I also have a depressing feeling that I won’t have any say not only about what I’m “allowed” to have but how it all gets arranged.  I don’t especially care if someone who is familiar with the size and layout makes basic decisions.  But I do have a few things I care about.  I hope I get a chance to express those, but I just don’t know what will happen.

Because of sleeping later than usual, the whole morning is slightly “out of focus”.  I have washed dishes and fed cats .. and that’s all.  I should go get a shower and get dressed and get busy.  Perhaps I will .. soon.