Day 275
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Physical:
After a bit of a strange week, this was back to a closer to “normal”
day .. or at least, the way things tend to run more smoothly. DH slept until just before 11:00. He managed to stay mostly awake until mid
afternoon – which was pretty good for him considering TV was pretty
boring. He did take a nap for a couple
of hours, and then I didn’t have to struggle to get him to wake up.
He ate a sandwich for lunch, but didn’t eat as much supper as
I thought he might. He loves pork chops;
but I think maybe they’re getting harder for him to digest. I don’t know what direction to go … we can’t
eat only chicken all the time! The
things he likes the most are the ones he has the most trouble with .. either
chewing or digesting. I don’t think he’s
ready for *much*!
Once he got to sleep he slept through the night; but his
breathing sounded labored most of it. I
had to wake him up for a pill, but he seems to be sleeping easier right now.
People:
We neither saw nor heard from anyone this day.
Emotions:
Even though I started the day a bit weepy, I managed to stay
busy enough to feel productive. I got
one area (about 3’ of wall space) cleaned and reduced to 2 smallish boxes
(still haven’t brought plastic bins down to put stuff in). I didn’t throw out anything “good”, even if I
didn’t know what it was good for; but good grief, there was one box full of
just crumpled paper towels! And I did
toss some seriously out of date road maps!
I also was able to rearrange a few bits and pieces to make
the supplies more organized and easier to reach and maintain. I think.
I will probably have to rethink some of that when it’s time to actually
change the furniture; but it will be fine for now. There’s still a lot of stuff to sort .. DH is
the worst pack-rat ever! I find I don’t mind being tired when I’ve been
productive. And I’m able to be
productive without straining my back or making my knees ache.
I slept better last night than I have all week .. even though
I moved during the night. Just after
2:00 a barking dog woke me, so I went to another room – and slept well the rest
of the night. Finally! I still don’t know why I sometimes have so
much trouble sleeping; it’s not like I’m not tired. I can hardly hold my eyes open, and almost
never get to watch 10:00 shows that I want to see. But I wake up after only a few hours –
sometimes only 2 hours – and then have a hard time getting back to sleep, even
though I’m tired and feel sleepy.
Today will be the first time in 3 weeks to get to the grocery
store. Too bad it’s the end of the month
.. not the time to “stock up”. And I
won’t get anything else done in DH’s room, unless DSS turns out to be willing
to help with the desk … he could maybe start boxing up the things on it that
need to go with the desk, and putting aside (for me to box) the things to stay
here. We all know he’s never going to
use any of that stuff again (mainly a lot of miniature tools for making scale
model boats). But there’s no need to
upset him by just giving away all of his stuff and telling him he can’t use
it! The worse he gets the more I feel
like he needs to have hope. If he didn’t
have the dementia, I think he would be very depressed, but realistic. As it is, he doesn’t know where he is most of
the time; and doesn’t know “when” it is a lot.
And except when I argue with him, or deny him what he wants, he’s not in
general upset. He does have occasional
flashes of lucidity when it bothers him to realize his mind is so far gone; but
fortunately, they don’t last. A lot of
the time he seems content, because he’s frequently telling me (and others)
places he went, things he did. To him it’s
all very real.
At times I wonder about my own motives in moving things
around, getting rid of stuff. Am I just
being lazy, wanting to confine him to one room?
It’s going to make the rest of the house seem that much emptier. But the fact is, it’s getting harder and
harder to have to get him in and out of the wheelchair. It’s not “stable”, and doesn’t take much for it to move and risk
a bad fall. I’m trying to look at it as
not so much “confining” him, as a way to eliminate a dangerous step. I think he can be up and down more often if
it is only a transfer from bed to chair.
I know myself, I’ll get annoyed at that too; but as long as I can do it
safely I won’t refuse. But if he’s stuck
in only one room, it’s only logical to make that room more inviting, and open
so anyone that comes here .. even if it’s only DSS on Sunday afternoon … can be
in there with him to visit. As far as
getting rid of stff … that’s
tricky. DSS sees me as “jumping the gun” … wait until his dad is gone before getting
rid of his things. I see it as getting
rid of junk I’ve wanted to get rid of for years!!! I mean really, he’s saved ever little scrap
of rope, tiny pieces of wire, old lamp cords, bits and pieces of leather too
small for any project, and so on. Tools
are one thing (even if I do know he’ll never use them); large blocks of wood
and other such supplies are OK. Just not
all the giblets and scraps!
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