Day 147

Day 147
Friday October 18, 2013
Physical:
No significant changes noted.Mental status remains about the same: confusion about location, and total refusal to realize physical limitations.  He's not able to eat without spilling a lot; he frequently drops pills even when placed directil into his hand.  He can't put bottle caps back on, so water often gets knocked over and spilled (have resorted to only sippy cups for in bedroom).
Last night (Friday) he dropped the sleeping pill .. I didn't know it until much later (when I took in the last pills, he mumbled he was sorry he dropped the other one.  I never could find it, so not 100% sure if he took it or dropped it).  In any case, it was not a good night, with a lot of coughing, wheezing, moaning, gasping, etc.
People:
The dialysis nurse came mid morning.  They've changed personel again, but we think we like this one better.  It's an older guy and he's very kind and thoughtful.  He acts more like he actually likes his patients.  He not only drew labs and collected the drainage from the night before (always before had to take those heavy bags in) .. he also helped get the concentrator sorted out (definately not his job, but he figured it out anyway).  The regular CNA came, and I was glad to see her.  She will take a few minutes to sit and talk to me.  She also said she thought a nurse would come by and check up on DH after his fall - but no one ever did, or even called.  I can only assume they decided he was not badly injured and a follow up wasn't needed.
DSS did come by, but not until fairly late in the evening.  I had already gone on and gotten dialysis set up; but he did the heparin (had that ready) and I can use those bags later.  It was also too late for him to haul off the old file cabinet again.
Emotions:
I need to be careful what I say here.  My back/shoulder is hurting, and I don't want to confuse discomfort with depression.
Also,  a lot of my emotions have less to do with DH than with my personal world, which is shrinking.  And it scares me.  Everything is blurred and shadowy and getting worse.  The new glasses might help (I desperately hope so) with reading, and with things a few feet away, such as TV.  But not so that I can just put them on and "see" again.
I turn on the computer, open email, and scan ... and there's nothing there but "junk mail".   I sit here most of the day with just DH ... and if he's awake, he usually has no clue what I'm talking about.
It's not helping that today makes 2 full weeks of cloudy days, with or without rain.  Tody is with.  Forecast said "dearly morning showers with possible sprinkles laterin the day" It's close to mid-morning now, and pouring.