Day 145

(Tuesday and) Wednesday October 17, 2013
Physical:
I keep saying I'm not noticing changes on a day to day basis.  But there have been some that I sort of focused on more on Wednesday.  Recently when he sits in his recliner, he lists to the left.  Some time back a nurse told me that a person who has a weakness (and we know his right side was weakened by a stroke) will lean more to the stronger side.  But this is more than just leaning.  At times he looks like he's all but falling out of the chair.  I straighten him up, but he's soon slumped over again.  Last night eating supper he first dropped his entire plate of food on the floor.  I fixed him something else; and then put the foot rest up to give him more of a lap to balance on (I have not yet found any sort of table or tray that works well).  He listed so far over while eating that if if had been at all liquid he would have poured it all out.  He literally was holding a bowl (a deep corning dish) sideways and sort of scooping out.  
He's been a bit more "foggy" laately too; and a touch more argumentative about saying he can do this or that (kept telling me he'd clean up the commode, and that he'd clean up the spilled food).  Even when I'm literally holding him up, he says he can walk somewhere.  
The crying jags have been almost every day - but around the same time of day.  If he's not up yet, then it seems it passes.  That's just weird (I told him I'd change the TV channel if "Price Is Right" upset him so much!).
For awhile he was wanting to get up early in the morning, and then wanting to get up and down several times a day.  Now he seems to be getting back into the wanting to sleep more mode.  Last night he was restless, and told me he just didn't feel good.  
People:
The nurse came on Tuesday.  She said "no changes" (that was the message she left with his Duke doctor); but there are changes in his O2 sats.  He had been without the O2 for less than 2 minutes but apparently the tube wasn't placed correctly and he wasn't getting full benefit - for less than 10 minutes.  His sat was 90%.  She corrected the tube, tried again later, and it was up to 95%.  That's OK .. except ... it's considerably lower than last time she checked - and this is on 3 liters.  
The nurse did make several notes about things to bring up at her team metting that afternoon.  I wonder how long until we hear back about  anything?
The aide came Tuesday afternoon.  Also his sister came and stayed with him while her husband gave me a ride to Wal-Mart to get new reading glasses ordered.  I desperately hope they are an improvement!!  
On Wednesday the aide didn't come because of a scheduling conflict.  Just as well, as he didn't get out of bed until after 1:00.  And, as I said, was all slumped over.
Emotions:
Worry.  Tired (although Tuesday night we both actually had a good night!).  Even with sleep, by mid afternoon I'm worn out.  Everything hurts, and I take all the Aleve you're supposed to.  Plus my eyes get to burning.  I get more crying spells lately too, and I really can't pinpoint a reason.  I mean, they happen at odd times.  Well, one night I couldn't find Maggie when I got up to check on DH in the middle of the night.  And I got such a crying spell, I just couldn't get myself back calmed down - even after I found Maggie.  Yesterday I was just sitting watching TV, and started crying again.  
I know it didn't help that my friend didn't come over.  She said she would ... and I know perfectly well she hardly ever shows up when she says.  She never bothers to check the weather.  She doesn't come when it's too hot, or too cold, or too rainy, or even just cloudy.  I only hear from her when she has something negative to tell me about..  Anyway, I knew she wouldn't come over, but I guess I still felt let down anyway.
Stress makes my hands itch.  I don't know why, and I know it's weird.  One night they got so bad it kept me awake for hours.  I tried everything I could think of - and end the end I just clawed at them until they were raw.  Now my hands look like I've been through a battle with both cats - and lost. But the itching stopped.