Day 147

Day 147

Thursday, August 21, 2014

And again, awake much too early.  It was 4-something; but seems it was closer to 5:00 at least.  But anyway, awake enough for the mind to start churning over what I need to get done.  It’s really gotten to the point of being very confusing.  No, wait.  I’ve been confused for months.  But still, down “to the wire” and I’m still not sure what to do in the kitchen especially.

I also don’t really know what else I need to do today.  There’s so much in the house that needs to go away … a HUGE amount of trash, and another huge amount of donations.  That’s not even counting all the stuff DSS & TGF are supposed to remove.  And I’m devastatingly sad that I am backed into a corner and have to walk away from things that I needed to sell .. and I know who will just *take* them and think they’re doing me a favor. L  I’ve also got one last day for the man who *said* he wanted to buy the washer and dryer and would pay me before the 23^rd; and yardsale money TGF’s friend owes me that was promised “before the werd”.  Will that happen?  Will it go into her pocket and never make it to mine?  (I don’t honestly think she does that on purpose but if she feels her need is important, she will “borrow” … but it never gets repaid).  Well, there’s enough in the bank for now at least.  But I don’t know what I’ll do about the washer and dryer.  Other things I know I’m walking away from and it’s tearing me up, but I am left with no choice.  I know there are 3 more weeks before the rent is up here … but if I’m not here, I have no control over what gets taken out the door (and I can’t take back the key because there are things that are supposed to go).

This is why I can’t sleep.  Too many things keep circling around inside my head and stressing me out.  I’m being told “it will all be all right” … maybe so, but not necessarily for me.

The news is all about reaching one million residents in the county I’m moving to … one day too soon for me to be “it”! LOL!  Should I call and say “wait for me”???

Even in between writing .. and it’s not even daylight yet, though there is the first hints of paling sky … I get up and down to move something or wash something.  I don’t know how to pack the last of the things in the kitchen.  And I’m concerned about packing up food.  I got a hint at least that DN will say there’s  “no room” for anything that she doesn’t like.  I’m not willing to just throw away perfectly good food (i.e. home made pickles that I know are good) because she doesn’t want me to bring them.    At one time she said to bring on all the frozen veggies; but when we wanted to go on and send things, she said there was no room in the freezer.  Really?   She did say she’ll take some of it to her boyfriend’s house …. This is something that will have to be worked out.  With only one fridge, it cannot be “only” what one of us likes.

I know I “borrow” problems that don’t even exist.  I wish I could stop but I can’t make my head turn off.  When DB gets here today we have to pack up the TV receivers … so no TV the rest of the day either. 

I don’t know if I should pack appliances (like crock pots) or carry them loose.  I won’t pack the computer until tonight, but I can pack up the printer.  I have a couple of small baskets of random stuff … no one has ever had time to sit down with me and go through it; and I’m pretty sure anyone who does will just tell me to trash it all.  There are no words for how sad I am that everything I treasure is being considered disposable trash.  But, I will try to go through those baskets.  And I will go around .. again … and try to see if there are any more random things that need to be packed or handled in some way.  Even the phones need to be packed.  Well, one I can do now; and I need to call the phone company today to have the landline stopped.

In between writing and roaming the house I’ve been working on shredding old checks.  Geez, that’s a hot job .. I guess the shredder is putting out heat.  That’s going to take all day, can only do a little at a time. 

I’ve got the kitchen table nearly cleared except things like paper plates, paper towels and plastic utinsels.  I’ve washed the flatware from 2 drawers, and after it dries I can pack up that.  There’s a drawer with other stuff, mostly knives.  I guess I’ll get either DB or DIL (tonight) to help me sort that and only pack what we’ll realistcaly need (the knife block has already been packed).   I can count how much coffee and sweetner I’ll need through tomorrow morning and pack the rest of that I guess.  I have to make sure my coffee pot is last thing out and put in an accessible place in the apartment .. no one wants to be around me if I start a morning  coffee-deprived! LOL!  (although, to be honest, I *can* survive on Diet Coke instead if necessary). 

My mind is still roaming. I’m trying to get today’s plans lined up, but I just can’t seem to concentrate on one thing at a time.

The internet will be turned off tomorrow; and the morning will start very early anyway.  There will likely be no blog updates or emails from me until Sunday at best;  depending on how unpacking and organizing goes, maybe not until Monday.