Day 128
Saturday, August 2, 2014
Yesterday was a very difficult day. I spent most of the day feeling sad,
frustrated, overwhelmed, and even (at times) abandoned. My DIL was unable to come, as she was (is)
not well enough. (I am NOT mad at her;
in fact, I’m not mad at anyone – except maybe myself). But the end result is that I was alone and
unable to do things I had counted on getting done. I’m starting to wonder if this whole move was
a mistake after all. I should just stay
here, sitting in the dark to keep the electric bill down, shivering or sweating
to try to use less gas or electric, and eating ct food with Maggie because I
can’t afford anything else (and if I
could someone else would “shop” my pantry or freezer).
There are a lot of things here at the house, ranging from
helping look up websites to get information and phone numbers (to reserve a
trailer and a storage unit) to helping me read labels on cleaning supplies to
tell what it makes sense to take with me (even though apparently *some* people think
I won’t need dish soap, since that’s what they consider “surplus” cleaners that
it’s all right to ask for).
And there are so many things that MUST be taken care of that
require someone taking me somewhere .. like taking a check to DN, signing my
lease, going to the bank, putting in a change of address, getting massive
amounts of books (and cameras) donated either to the library or the habitat
store. I really am on the edge of
panic now. DIL is sick and can’t get
here … since she was unable to come Friday or yesterday (and my impression was
she’ll only come on a weekend), I have no idea when or even if she’ll be able
to come help me with anything. And TGF
only has this coming week until school starts for her; and one day is to take
me to my last doctor appointment in Durham.
She seems to find it very hard to find more than just a few hours in the
afternoon (contrary to what she promised a few months back), and I just don’t
know how anything is going to get done.
My SIL has also offered to help … but she is also unreliable, as she
will often say she’ll call or come over and then I don’t see or hear from her
for over a week. And her latest idea on “helping”
is that she wants to come here and bring all the boxes down from the attic and
make me go through them. Yeah, that’s
just what I need, to stop cleaning and packing everything else and find room
for more stuff downstairs.
If would help enormously if all this yardsale stuff were out
of the way. Singing a song that is old
and boring now, I wish I could sell some of the extra things I have here
(especially that dratted entertainment center) so I could just call the ReStore
and have them pick it all up. I’m always
being told how successful *other* people are at selling things on line (Craigs
List or yardsale sites) … but I have been spectacularly unsuccessful. I’m finding more and more I hate the thought
of doing another yardsale … there’s way too much stuff here now … but TGF seems
to be adamant that we will do that .. and when it’s over, then I will give away
everything. Somehow, being told I will
give away all my stuff that doesn’t sell feels more offensive than just calling
MY choice of charity up front (the ReStore doesn’t have drivers on weekends ..
and the local mission store might turn
us down because I have so much junk now, no clothes, it would nearly fill their
store!). And that’s not counting the
books and cameras.
Yesterday I decided I had run out of time to deal with paper
stuff. I went through 4 large plastic tubs, and reduced it to a half a tub I
still need help with, a small pile of keepsakes, and 4 trash bags to go. I kept old bank statements until someone can
help me read the dates (won’t keep anything more than 2 or 3 years old), and
will just have to take time to shred the rest.
I didn’t bother shredding anything else.
It’s all too old anyway. I hope I
didn’t toss anything important .. but it just could keep waiting. Today I hope to go through several more
smaller boxes; they will be more recent, so harder to ssort. Hopefully at the very least I can get it down
to only one large tub to be sorted eventually.
Since TGF did not bring BGS16 by to help with the pictures
.. and in fact, hasn’t bothered to even get in touch for 2 days .. I will get
them down myself. I got them up, I can
get them down. That probably means I’ll
have to move DSS’s old a/c again … that has been in my way for years and he
keeps promising but it never gets moved.
Now TGF has got it firmly into her head to buy a house, and she wants
everything that should be going to their house to just stay here until she gets
her house. Never mind that *I* am trying
to move .. in only 20 days … and I’m getting no actual help with packing, while
there are minimum 5 of them to move, and a much shorter distance. She frequently says to me “don’t worry we’ll
get it all done” .. but there’s no “we”!!
Then she tells me she can’t sleep at night for starting to worry about
how much there is to do .. only then she sleeps half the day … and still isn’t actually doing anything to
help.
I didn’t mean to get off on another whining spree. I’m just so very frustrated. I’m visualizing walking away from this house
and leaving things behind. The landlord
hasn’t bothered to contact me about my asking him if someone else can move
right in (willing to take it “as is”).
Because school is starting so soon, he will have to make other
arrangements; and that means he won’t be buying my freezer, so one more thing
to have to advertise. He would love to
buy the washer and dryer too, but TGF might want them (and yes, I’m being
STUPID, don’t bother to tell me what *you* would do, like it or not she’s still
family regardless of what anyone thinks) … only a friend might give her a set
and then I can sell mine. OK, I really
can see that she can’t ask her friend if she’s going to actually give her the
washer and dryer .. that would be tacky.
Meantime, the guy may have to just go on and find ones he can buy
now.
The thing is, I’mjust so frustrated with so many things up
in the air and not settled, and I can’t do anything about it. I want to just sell the stuff I’m not keeping
and know I have the funds needed. I want
to call ReStore and have them pick up all the yardsale stuff, the smaller
pieces of furniture I don’t need, the books, even the cameras.
Yesterday I discovered there’s some more glassware in a
cabinet over the stove .. I had forgotten all about it. So I’ve got to try to get it down, sorted,
decide what to do with it. I haven’t
gotten the good china down yet; but because I got rid of cabinets, I have no
places to put things. So there’s no
counter space to safely take down the china.
Plus DIL was going to bring some special padded storage bags for the
china. I have no idea if she’ll ever be
able to come, so I guess I need to just go on and use bubble wrap. I don’t know if I can reach the glassware,
but I have to try .. or else leave it behind.
The lady who helped me clean and organize the cabinets a few years ago
is very tall … it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to reach it when
needed!
I slept later again this morning. I suppose a combination of taking Aleve for
aching feet and head, super tired eyes, and a cool rainy night and morning
helped! But, now the day is moving
on. I need to get showered and dressed,
feed the cats, and push myself to start on today’s list. I want to sort through those last boxes of
papers .. even if all I can do is combine them into the one big box; I want to
get all the rest of the pictures off the walls; I want to finish sorting the
things off the walls into “take” and “store”.
I want to try to get that last bit of glassware down and sorted. I might also try to deal with the cleaners …
and just throw away what I’m not sure of.
I’m pretty sure I’ve got at least 3 partial bottles of glass cleaner …
they can be combined. And I think there
are 2 partial bottles of Mop N Glo, which can also be combined (I may be
wishing I hadn’t packed funnels! LOL)
Later today I will send a list of names to DIL,
and she will look up email addresses for me (she can access my Hotmail that I
can’t). At least I can then contact
people who might be wondering what happened to me. I really hate gmail. L I can’t
enlarge it (I can enlarge the screen, but it won’t scroll so all that happens
is everything disappears of the edges).
A lot of the printing is in light blue which is extremely hard for me to
see. I can’t navigate what I can’t see. The only buttons I have “learned” are the new
message one (I can send email if I know the address, but can’t reply), the
archive button (where I send everything because if there’s more than one
message in the inbox I have a hard time clicking on the right one) and the
trash button
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