Day 145

Day 145

Tuesday, August 19, 2014y

Although I sit down frequently during the day with a variety of excuses … tired, aching, depressed .. I still have to count this as a partially productive day.

I got up around 6:00, and was showered and dressed a little earlier than I have been doing lately.  I worked around in several places, but trying to get at least a few things accomplished.

The guys from ReStore came about 10:30 or so.  They are the same ones who have come previously, and are very nice.  They took all the books, and most of the other accumulated stuff.  They did refuse to take a couple of table top trees .. they said to just throw them away, no one would buy them.  Thaat, of course, made me quite sad.  Because the den was so jumbled, they didn’t get everything in there.  It was nearly impossible to even move around (and it didn’t help to discover the boys had pushed the neatly rolled rugs onto the floor!).  But, they said to just call when I was through and ready for the rest to be picked up.  I will make arrangements for SIL to be here and have them come after I’ve finished moving out.

After they had goneI spent some time reorganizing the spaces left.  There is now a bit more room to move around, and the donation items are a bit better contained.  The table and chairs I sold 2 months ago are still here, and the people have not responded to any attempts to contact them. 

I finally quit procrastinating and started going through the boxes from upstairs.  I ended up with 14 to go through .. and went through all but one.  That one turned out to be full of old photos!  I would have just thrown it away; but DIL said not to, that she will take it home and go through it as well as the others she has taken.

At one point I justpushed myself to keep letting go of things; but the more tired I got, the harder it got.  By the time I finished, I have what I suspect are way too many things to go into storage.  And yet, I have emptied or reused about 2 dozen boxes.  I’ve had to resort to reusing the big plastic totes because I long ago ran out of cardboard boxes.  That means I will end up with even more empty boxes … which will be in the way until I can either get them to storage or give them away (I know several family members will gladly take some of them).

I really dread the concept of having to start over and weed things out even more.  It makes me incredibly sad, especially when all my pretty things are treated like a bunch of junk that should be tossed in the trash.  It makes me feel like things I like are worthless .. and that makes me, my whole life, is just worthless, used up, no longer valid or having any point.

Yes, I know, I’m veering into weey again.  I’m already tired and the day hasn’t started (well, except for gtting my room a bit straightened).  DB/SIL are at DSis’s house, no idea what the plans are.  But since I was unable to get the storage key to DM (because of my own incompetent brain), they’ll have to come here before checking out the storage unit.  That’s extra driving and makes me feel guilty.  SIL (DH’s sister) is taking me to town but I have no idea when;  since she wants us to go to lunch, I’m guessing it will be closer to noon.  So for the morning .. at least until someone gets here … I need to work on the kitchen. 

I don’t know when (or even if) DIL will be able to come again.  She is thinking maybe tomorrow IF her health holds up enough.  I will leave the last bit of random junk in my office closet until last in case she’s able to come help me with that. 

I look around and still feel like there’s a lot left; and I just don’t know how to deal with it, what to pack now and what later … no wait, there’s no more “later”.

I think I need more coffee, and then a shower