Day 9

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 9

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Yesterday was disappointing in some aspects, but very productive nevertheless.  I got up a bit before 6:00 .. about “usual”.  I finished emptying or redistributing the batch of boxes brought in Friday, so by the time DB/SIL got here I had cleared space.  They arrived with a load of boxes … and it was way too hot for them to have been doing that. L  I keep being told to just let them do it … I assume everyone is afraid I’ll fall on the steps or something.  Yes, I know, I’m not in very good shape; but I’m not crippled, just fat and out of condition.

After they brought things up, and cooled down a bit (a/c running), we headed out.  They took me to lunch at McD (SIL and I both love a mocha frappe!!!), and on to the house.  TGF and her BFF met us there (partly because I realized on the way I didn’t have a key!).  We sorted and shifted, and DB/SIL loaded up the truck with as much as they could squeeze in, most of it for storage and a few things to take home or to DS9s’s house.

After they left I continued to try to consolidate what is left to go to storage.  TGF and friend went through the big pile of give-away stuff in the den and picked out what they wanted (once I’d decided to let go of something, I’m not only OK with them getting what they want – I’m actually glad that they agreed that it’s not completely junk and they’d like to have what I can’t keep.  It sort of validates my having had and enjoyed those things in the first place).

DS for some reason couldn’t seem to get going, so it was after 5:00 in the afternoon before they got to the house.  DB had gone on, but TGF stayed there with me.  Soon after DS got here though, they had to go on. 

We got everything else from the house (except my winter coats) that needed to come here instead of to storage, so came straight here to unload.  DIL and I let DS and the kids do that.  The a/c had been running all day and the apartment was nice and cool.  Actually, to me, the living room was too cold!!  But, they slept in there and were OK  and my room is comfortable to me.  But after they leave I’ll give the a/c a rest awhile!

There wasn’t a lot here to eat … I didn’t bother the casseroles DN’s friend brought her, and the left over chicken wasn’t enough for us all.  So we ended up going to Sweet Tomatoes.  That was a new experience for me, and I did enjoy it!  I felt bad for them to spend so much (although relatively speaking it was affordable .. I’d be glad to go again sometime).  It was pretty late by the time we got back, so after sitting around awhile DS got the folding cots set up, they settled in .. and I was in my *bed* by 9:30.

I don’t know what the plan for today is.  DIL offered to take another trip to the house for storage things … but since they have to go by and get the washer/dryer and get home, I don’t think that’s practical.  First I need to deal with what’s already here so I can make room to get more out of storage.

I also have to pick up eye drops today.  Both of the main ones I use .. am *supposed* to use twice a day in each eye … are out, even though I have not used them as regularly (I’ve been alternating the ones I was told were duplicates in order to make the last longer).  It really bugs me that no matter how careful I am, they do NOT last a full month, but insurance will not approve them in less than 30 days.

It’s already mid morning and I’m still going back and forth with writing and going through boxes.  Sadly, the majority now seems to be stuff that has to go in my room.  Some how.  I may have to do a bit of creative furniture rearranging .. but I can do that if I need to  It’s something I’ve done many times .. just have to study it a bit and decide what I need to do!  I also know not all of my sace is efficiently arranged yet, something else I’ll need to work on … but after the rest of the apartment is put together.  I can live with my room a jumble for awhile, but the rest has to become a neat and pretty useable space.

My back and feet are already aching .. time for Aleve and keep chugging away!

Day 8

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 8

Saturday, August 30, 2014

I confuse my own self with my numbering system.  Today is Saturday, the 8^th day since officially moving to the apartment.  But I’m basically writing about Friday.

It was a better day in a lot of ways; but also exhausting and a bit frustrating.  Living with my DN is a constant learning process.  I never fully understood how her mind works (well I guess no one really does!) … so I can not just assume that because she IS an adult she will act like one at all times. And although I believe I have handled things reasonably well all things considered .. I’m still emotionally fragile, and sometimes things are just too hard to deal with.

We both got up early because a friend was bringing casseroles to her.  After the friend came, she put one in the oven (it was frozen); and we watched NCIS reruns.  After eating breakfast, I continued to work on the few remaining boxes , plus pack back up some of my things.  As usual, I’m wrong and everyone else is right.  The apartment is not big enough for me to have MY things, only her things.  At least in the kitchen (other areas are partially in negotiation).  So I packed back up a lot of my nice things in favor of hers. 

At some point I realized the TV was going and she wasn’t in there .. so I changed it over to what I normally like to watch in the daytime.  I found out later she was napping … although when the phone rang she was certainly in a hurry to answer.  I get the feeling she thinks my poor vision means I’m too stupid to answer the phone or even speak for myself at my own bank.  That will have to change!). 

Anyway, I did finish the boxes before DB/SIL got here.  We took the pile of “returns” down to their truck, and they took me on over to storage.  We picked out what could come back (limited by truck capacity at the time) and brought them back here.

DN had already left with BF.  After DB/SIL left, I had the evening to myself. I finished all the big boxes, including temporarily placing lamps.  I put lamps in the kitchen with a clicker.  Later I nuked a piece of left over chicken .. and blew a fuse!!  Oops.  In all fairness, I had no way of knowing that the TV, a/c  and microwave were too much.  At least I knew where the box was and how to “fix” it.  I had turned on the a/c when I got back from storage, but decided I had cooled down enough so turned it back off.  The rest of the evening was very comfortable (with the brief exception of a bunch of men out in the “courtyard” smoking stinky pot).

It had also cooled down enough that I slept well, and didn’t wake up  until nearly 5:45. 

So, early or not, I need to get busy.  DB will bring more things from storage on his way over here today, though I have no idea what time (hopefully not TOO early! LOL).  I have to finish the last few boxes if I can; and I’d like to run the vacuum.  I also need to scoop the litter box and take a load of trash and recycles to the site. 

I’d better get a shower and get busy!    This could turn out to be a very productive day, I need to be ready to face it!

Day 7

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 7

Frisday, August 29, 2014

Yesterday was not a very good day.  I won’t bother to go into details .. they’re mostly irrelevant.  Apparently the main *problem* is that even though it’s been only a few months since I lost my husband (and despite what people seem to think, I miss him an awful lot), and I’m losing my vision which is frustrating beyond anything I can describe; and despit that I’ve had to give up my home, well over half of MY things, even one of my cats … still, other people are allowed to say and do and act in any way they choose and I am the one expected to NOT react.  And I’m just not capable of doing that all the time.  It’s really hard that I’m not allowed to have sad or weepy spells (no matter what the provocation) without someone getting all pissy with me and demanding to know “what’s wrong with you”.  (and just for the record .. there is more than one person who has done that but I will not say any more about it).

I didn’t sleep well that night, so was feeling tired and grumpy to start with.  However, I did get up and work on some of the things I needed to get done, especially in the kitchen.  I guess it was all a wasted effort, because last night I was told “we” have too much stuff and I have to put some of it in storage. I knew that, but it’s hard being told that MY stuff is too much and in the way when after 2 weeks DN hasn’t bothered to unpack her own stuff.  But like I said, I knew I’m the one being expected to give up everything.

Later in the afternoon we walked to the bank to check on my account.  The gentleman we talked to was very nice; and said there is no problem whatsoever.  So, clearly, the “link” is broken.  (Since DIL wa able to access it, I asked her to send me the link she used … got it this morning, and it works fine).  Then we walked to DN’s bank to set up a joint account.  The account is partly set up, but waiting for me to get an updated photo ID. That is scheduled for next week.  Everyone has been hinting (some harder than others) that I should just change banks.  While I will admit that DN’s bank has some advantages … I’ve been with mine more than 30 years and see no reason to change.  I have 3 accounts (have had as many as 6 in the past) .. one is shared with DGS15.  Also, my SS and my insurance payments are all automatic and I really don’t want to have to go through that hassle again, especially now that it’s so much harder to see what I’m doing.  Once the new account is set up, it will be possible for me to do a transfer on line and not even have to write checks.  DN doesn’t seem to want me to do that, but I’m really not sure why.    But in the end, as long as she gets the money, there’s no reason to dictate how I get it to her.

We went by a “thrift store” … a bit disappointing to me.  It was predominantly high end clothes.  I don’t need anything, and it wasn’t much fun to look without being able to read sizes; and DN was only interested in books.

After that we stopped by the pharmacy and I let them know I need to renew my eye drops.  I can pick them up Sunday (earliest the insurance will cover .. even though one has run out.  I don’t even use it the number of times I’m supposed to, and it still will not last a full month!). 

After we got back here, after resting (by then it was Very hot; but no point turning on the a/c), I got back to working on boxes while DN cooked dinner.  I have a few things repacked to take back to storage; by next weekend there will be more … I guess I’ll ask DN’s boyfriend (BF) to take me then.

By 10:00 I was exhausted.  I had no trouble going to sleep, but woke up around 3:00 to pouring rain!  I got up and closed some of the windows.  I went back to sleep, and didn’t get up until about 7:00 … so I feel like I’m running late!  DN has a friend coming by to bring her some casseroles (a gift to “help out” since DN is currently job hunting).  Beyond that neither of us know what will happen when today.  I need to go on and get a shower and be ready for whatever.    I’ve done most of the dishes (one pan had to soak awhile); and I need to go pull out most of my thngs to send back to storage.  Yes, a little note of bitterness here.  Even though I’ve run a household longer than DN has been alive, and had a houseful of males at one time or another to feed and clean up after … suddenly I’m being treated like I know nothing whatsoever about a kitchen,  and everything I have been using for years is worthless like me.  I’m losing my vision … everything, not just the kitchen, is a struggle.  But I’m NOT stupid or incompetent or brain dead.  But, it just doesn’t matter any more.  I’ll get rid of my nice things and we will only use what she says we must use. 

This will not last forever.  And I cling to the thought that eventually when she gets married, I will find a new flat mate and be able to get my things out of storage!  (and I know some of them are easily replaceable … but I have  storage for things that are not easily replaceable, so why replace things if I don’t have to?).

Time to get in the shower and see what this day has in store.

Day 6

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 6

Thursday, August 28, 2014

I didn’t sleep well and I have no idea why.  It’s unusual for me; but every once in a rare while there’s a night when sleep plays peek-a-boo … I doze off and on, but never get a really good restful sleep.  Today will be long, and I’m starting it out grumpy.  I still can’t access my bank account; but my DIL can .. which means the problem is with me or my computer in some way so I have to go by the bank to find out why.  Plus DN and I are to go by her bank to set up a joint account for paying the apartment expenses.  DN is wanting us to take a bus to town and get a bus pass for her, and maybe see about getting picture IDs for both of us.

All that is fine and needs to be done.  So does unpacking the last of the stuff here so I can get thr rest out of storage this weekend.  There’s not a lot left.  And I suppose it can all just get dumped into my room so it won’t be in anyone else’s way until I get it sorted. 

Yesterday DS took us shopping.  We got all the things on our list.  I spent more than I planned, more than I should have.  But some of what we got was very practical (like the over-the-door shelves for the pantry), some was “luxury” (the box to go under the Keurig to hold my coffee), some was generally needed (water, litter, a litter mat for in front of Maggie’s box, push lights for the kitchen counters).  We went to several places to get everything on our list; then DS treated us to lunch (and supper with the left overs) at Olive Garden.  Nice!!!  Plus, she treated us each to a cupcake on the way home .. also very nice!!  (and, it turns out, walking distance if I feel Really ambitious).

Unfortunately, nothing got accomplished.  We both sat down .. and went to sleep!!  (and since I’ve gotten into that habit over the lat few months, I don’t think that had anything to do with not sleeping last night).  So almost nothing got done.  DN’s boyfriend came over, and helped assemble the door shelves; and helped fill them up.  He also put a longer cable on my TV  … it’s long enough, though one a few feet longer might be a little better) .. but was unable to get a signal.  DN will try to call the cable company and make sure they understood she had ordered 3 connections.  It seems there’s at least a possibility that the man who came to add a cable to her room could have misunderstood the need and just moved the connection from one room to the other.  I have no idea what all that means .. I just know I still can’t have TV in my room.

Another thing I have to figure out is how to best set up my computer so it can be connected to a TV monitor so I can see it better (hopefully).  It’s getting hardder to see, and more frustrating.

Last night about 7:30 (to be back by 8:00 shows) we took trash to the dumpster.  It’s quite a hike from our apartment.  On the way I managed to fall.  DN told me to “watch out” … unfortunately, there was nothing she could do..  There was a speed bump, and I knew it was there.  What I didn’t realize .. and she didn’t in time … was that some moron had designed a GAP in the middle of it.  So instead of stepping up, my foot hit a sloped side and I tumbled.  I was not hurt .. not even any skinned places where my hand and elbow hit gravel.  But my dignity was severely bruised. L  I know things like that are inevitable … especially as my vision gets worse and I insist on doing as much as possible on my own.    I absolutely refuse to just sit down and let what’s left of my life be taken away from me.  I know it scared DN .. was not her fault at all … it just couldn’t be helped.  And I expect it will happen again.  I just hope I can manage to not look like an idiot in public.

I love that our windows face mostly north/south.  But it also makes it hard for me to tell what kind of day it is .. it’s already after 8:00 and doesn’t feel that late.  DN is still sleeping of course.  I wish I were capable of sleeping that much.  But I have to go do eye drops, and then see what I can work on for awhile.

Day 5

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 5

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

It is Wednesday morning, just a bit before 7:00.  I’ve been up about an hour, and have mostly cleaned the kitchen.  Then, following my “normal” routine (and not wanting to wake DN yet), I came in to my computer.  For 3 days I didn’t even try to set it up … had to get boxes out of the way and get things a little better organized.  So this morning … I have no internet!!    Is this the “new normal”???  I am NOT happy. In fact, I’m furious.  Haven’t I given up enough yet?  I’ve lost my husband.  I’m rapidly losing my vision .. meaning TV (including movies) is nothing but a blur, I can only listen to books that someone else reads (and then the selection is limited and expensive), I can’t enjoy shopping any more.  I’ve had to move from my big house to this small apartment, meaning I was forced to give up over half of my possessions (and at times criticized for what I have hald on to).  I’m fast approaching the time when everything has to be out of the house … tried to sell things but no one wants them (is my taste THAT awful???  Even for a washer & dryer or a freezer???), I have not enough room to store … and the vultures are waiting to just take everything and act like they’re doing me a favor.

I’ve spent months agonizing over what to pack.  Now I get to unpack what was kept, and it’s almost as hard.  I have to re-figure it all out.  Yesterday a friend (casual acquaintenence, but have known all my life) came over and helped me go through a lot of the stuff in my room.  Plus, the maintenance guy finally came and fixed the closet door, which meant I could put away a lot.  He installed the a/c (with my help … while DN just sat and watched), so once that was off the floor we could get the living room better arranged.  It still needs some tweaking, but getting there.  Once there are more lamps in place, and picture and curtains hung, it will look like a real home.

I still have a lot to unpack, mostly kitchen stuff I think.  There’s a lot still in storage (and I got the impression DN isn’t very happy with the idea of more stuff coming .. it’s lamps, pictures, decorative stuff.  I’ve had enough taken away, I won’t be deprived of having a pretty home.

DSis is taking us shopping today.  I have to be very careful, since I can’t check my bank account again.  I haven’t been able to check since I moved .. and can’t tell if it’s a bank thing or what.  I can get a balance from an ATM, but that won’t tell me what has or hasn’t cleared.  Anyway, it’s time to go on and get ready, and hope this internet issue gets resoloved later today!

It’s not much later, but internet is “back” (don’t know where it “was”).  But I still can’t access my bank account … I can’t even bring up the page at all.  There is a message about “sorry for the inconvenience” or something like that, which makes me think it’s their issue .. but for 2 days?  I really need to be able to access my bank account.  And my SS should be in it today … but I have to be absolutely sure before I write a check.

I got an email from DIL.  It’s looking like she won’t be coming up on Friday after all.  Her doctors are changing her meds around AGAIN.  It seems she has side effects to pretty much everything they put her on.  One makes blood sugar drop.  Another makes her dizzy and disoriented.  I know it’s very frustrating for her.  For me, disappointing .. but been saying all along she will come IF she’s able.

Yesterday I got the phone stopped.  Today I still need to call the insurance company to get a copy of my renter’s insurance faxed to the apartment rental office; and get my address changed.  I’m not sure if I’ll bother to change the phone number (I think they have my cell number).  The new system puts a number on the TV screen when a call comes .. and if DN doesn’t recognize the number she refuses to answer it.  I may or may not be right there to hear or answer; and I certainly can’t read the number.  So no one can call me unless she knows who they are.   It’s OK, no one much calls except DB or DIL anyway.

I know it’s all an adjustment process for both of us.  But I think it will be better when I have my TV so I can watch it, and the bigger monitor for the computer. 

DS is coming this morning, so I need to get off here now and get a shower and be ready.  DN is still asleep (wish I could sleep that much, but I just can’t), so need to get in and out of the bathroom before she needs to have her turn.

Day 4

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 4

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

As soon as someone is available to help, I will be changing the name of this blog to “One NEW Day at a Time”.  I started numbered days over from the day I actually began living in the apartment instead of the old house.

I know there have been many who criticized me for this move for many reasons.  While they were (and still are) valid reasons .. the overriding factor is that this is MY lie.  I felt I had to do what was in my best interest.  I won’t say it’s been easy.  It’s been painful and difficult, and exhausting mentally and physically.

But, it’s done.  And even though there is a ton more to do, things start over here.I’m anxious to finish unpacking and just “get on with it”. 

The main part of the move on Saturday went well enough, though not without some glitches.  By the end of the day, things ended up strangely assorted (to me at least), though I guess there is a sliver of logic.  I’m working my way through what is here.  We’re waiting for the maintenance guy to get here to install the a/c in the living room (but we’ve had lovely cooler weather and it hasn’t been a priority), and also unstick my closet door (which IS a priority!). 

The kitchen is on it’s way to being set up.  The furniture in my room is in place … not quite as originally planned but a way that will work well for me. I will be glad to finish the boxes in the middle of the floor and get my rugs down.

I need to make a list for our “handy man” guys to tackle … attaching the mirror to my dresser, hanging (multiple) pictures, helping me figure out curtain rods (well, that might be DSis I think).

Maggie seems to be extremely happy here.  As I anticipated, she enjoys laying in the window sills.  She divides her time between my room and the living room (though she may on be as happy there once the a/c is installed.  OTOH once things are squared away, she may like the dining room window.

DN and I have walked up to the shopping center every day … even Saturday!    It’s uphill; and by the time we get back my legs and feet are very achy.  But we’ve made it.  Today she has an appointment; I may just walk around the courtyard, but I will get out. 

I’ve not got my computer “system” set up yet so I can use a bigger monitor.  So until I get that done, I may not write every day.  But I will try to do it often enough that no one starts wondering what’s happened.  And not *too* often because I rather like that someone occasionally calls to check on me if I don’t write. J

This is enough for today.  It’s frustrating to have to keep back spacing because I hit the wrong keys.  I used to know how to type, but apparently my fingers have forgotten!  It’s time toget my 2^nd cup of coffee and unpack a box or two!

Day 147

Day 147

Thursday, August 21, 2014

And again, awake much too early.  It was 4-something; but seems it was closer to 5:00 at least.  But anyway, awake enough for the mind to start churning over what I need to get done.  It’s really gotten to the point of being very confusing.  No, wait.  I’ve been confused for months.  But still, down “to the wire” and I’m still not sure what to do in the kitchen especially.

I also don’t really know what else I need to do today.  There’s so much in the house that needs to go away … a HUGE amount of trash, and another huge amount of donations.  That’s not even counting all the stuff DSS & TGF are supposed to remove.  And I’m devastatingly sad that I am backed into a corner and have to walk away from things that I needed to sell .. and I know who will just *take* them and think they’re doing me a favor. L  I’ve also got one last day for the man who *said* he wanted to buy the washer and dryer and would pay me before the 23^rd; and yardsale money TGF’s friend owes me that was promised “before the werd”.  Will that happen?  Will it go into her pocket and never make it to mine?  (I don’t honestly think she does that on purpose but if she feels her need is important, she will “borrow” … but it never gets repaid).  Well, there’s enough in the bank for now at least.  But I don’t know what I’ll do about the washer and dryer.  Other things I know I’m walking away from and it’s tearing me up, but I am left with no choice.  I know there are 3 more weeks before the rent is up here … but if I’m not here, I have no control over what gets taken out the door (and I can’t take back the key because there are things that are supposed to go).

This is why I can’t sleep.  Too many things keep circling around inside my head and stressing me out.  I’m being told “it will all be all right” … maybe so, but not necessarily for me.

The news is all about reaching one million residents in the county I’m moving to … one day too soon for me to be “it”! LOL!  Should I call and say “wait for me”???

Even in between writing .. and it’s not even daylight yet, though there is the first hints of paling sky … I get up and down to move something or wash something.  I don’t know how to pack the last of the things in the kitchen.  And I’m concerned about packing up food.  I got a hint at least that DN will say there’s  “no room” for anything that she doesn’t like.  I’m not willing to just throw away perfectly good food (i.e. home made pickles that I know are good) because she doesn’t want me to bring them.    At one time she said to bring on all the frozen veggies; but when we wanted to go on and send things, she said there was no room in the freezer.  Really?   She did say she’ll take some of it to her boyfriend’s house …. This is something that will have to be worked out.  With only one fridge, it cannot be “only” what one of us likes.

I know I “borrow” problems that don’t even exist.  I wish I could stop but I can’t make my head turn off.  When DB gets here today we have to pack up the TV receivers … so no TV the rest of the day either. 

I don’t know if I should pack appliances (like crock pots) or carry them loose.  I won’t pack the computer until tonight, but I can pack up the printer.  I have a couple of small baskets of random stuff … no one has ever had time to sit down with me and go through it; and I’m pretty sure anyone who does will just tell me to trash it all.  There are no words for how sad I am that everything I treasure is being considered disposable trash.  But, I will try to go through those baskets.  And I will go around .. again … and try to see if there are any more random things that need to be packed or handled in some way.  Even the phones need to be packed.  Well, one I can do now; and I need to call the phone company today to have the landline stopped.

In between writing and roaming the house I’ve been working on shredding old checks.  Geez, that’s a hot job .. I guess the shredder is putting out heat.  That’s going to take all day, can only do a little at a time. 

I’ve got the kitchen table nearly cleared except things like paper plates, paper towels and plastic utinsels.  I’ve washed the flatware from 2 drawers, and after it dries I can pack up that.  There’s a drawer with other stuff, mostly knives.  I guess I’ll get either DB or DIL (tonight) to help me sort that and only pack what we’ll realistcaly need (the knife block has already been packed).   I can count how much coffee and sweetner I’ll need through tomorrow morning and pack the rest of that I guess.  I have to make sure my coffee pot is last thing out and put in an accessible place in the apartment .. no one wants to be around me if I start a morning  coffee-deprived! LOL!  (although, to be honest, I *can* survive on Diet Coke instead if necessary). 

My mind is still roaming. I’m trying to get today’s plans lined up, but I just can’t seem to concentrate on one thing at a time.

The internet will be turned off tomorrow; and the morning will start very early anyway.  There will likely be no blog updates or emails from me until Sunday at best;  depending on how unpacking and organizing goes, maybe not until Monday.

Day 146

Day 146

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

It gets harder and harder as moving day gets closer.  And the stress level expands exponentially (I have no idea if I used or spelled that right, but it “felt” right!).

I don’t even remember what I worked on in the morning, but something.  My DB got here by early mid morning, and he got busy on some things that were a problem for me.  The electronics are now sorted and packed.  I worked on the kitchen (he brought me food –yay – and said I should be “camping” by now  Well, I’m not as organized as I should be) .. the dishes are packed, and most of the kitchen stuff.  I think.  It still seems like there’s a lot .. I’m really having a hard time determining what can be packed and what I’m actually using until the last minute.

DB brought down the rest of the stuff from upstairs that the boys “missed”.  

A little before noon my SIL picked me up.  She took me to the bank and I was able to deposit her payment (a payment on the lawnmower and some yardsale items), plus DB gave me a check for some yardsale things they had sold.  It’s a relief for the bank account to not be so low!  The manager wasn’t there, but his assistant helped me.  Unfortunately, she had trouble with her compuer, so it took a long time.  But necessary changes were made. After that I rode around with SIL while she took care of some errands.  Then she took me to her house for lunch.  It was 2:00 before we got there!   After lunch I kept telling her I needed to get back to work; she kept saying I needed to rest and she’d take me soon.  It was after 4:00 before I got home.  It was nice spending time with her (and meeting her SIL), but I felt like I had “lost” way too much time.

I did, however, finish sorting all the remaining things that had been brought down.  There is now another Huge pile of stuff in the donation area. 

My biggest concern today is that I have a big pile of things in the living room to be gone through, and a lot of them I don’t know what to do about.  I have some framed certificates of some sort that I think belonged to my parents.  Sadly, no one wants them any more (and maybe this is partly why letting go of so much of mine … at least the things that were important to my parents aren’t being discarded until after they’re gone.  Letting go of things that matter to me … no matter how easily they *could* be replaced …. Feels like just throwing my life away.  Yes, I know, they are just “things”.  But they matter to me.)  Anyway, I need to decide if I toss the whole thing or try to take them out of the frames and just toss the paper.  I will have to deal with that today.

By dark I had pretty much done what I could.  The only lamp not “packed” is the one by the computer; and since the bright overhead lights hut my eyes, I had to deal with the dark.

One great development last night, though, is that the people finally came and got their table and chairs (bought nearly 2 months ago).  It was dark before they got here, and the door was opened awhile .. but fortunately, I’ve not seemed to be plagued by an excess of gnats or mosquitoes.

This morning I was awake by a little after 4:00 again. This is so frustrating!  I managed to wait until 5:00 to get up, but by then I realized I just had too much on my mind.  I have moved around a lot of the stuff left in the den.  One thing that occurred to me that we haven’t addressed yet was the a/c unit!  So I moved the stuff that was in front of that so it can be removed.

I need to get showered and dressed earlier today, and I need a “game plan”.  I think I will start at the back, and make sure everything that has to go to the apartment is moved  or consolidated in as few areas as possible.  I need to finish packing the kitchen.  I need to take time to do some shredding (all old checks, leaving only the book in my purse … I will have new ones in a few weeks, and I need very few).  I need to confirm with DN that she doesn’t want the braided rug, because I see no point in storing that .. it can be donated.  Either way I need to vacuum and roll it; just need to know where it has to be.  And I have to move that stuff that needs to be sorted that’s on top of the rug.  Duh.  I also have to find out if she wants the trunk that came out of her mom’s attic years ago.  And if she doesn’t want it I need to find out if DSis wants it back or not.  Too many questions!!

I think I also need to sort the box where I’ve been tossing extenstion cords and power strips .. I have WAY more than DN and I can possibly need.  I need to cull that down to a more reasonable number and then decide what to do with the rest.  I don’t want to just throw them away;  I don’t know if any family members will want them.  Most people don’t live in old houses with wonky electric like mine!!

I don’t know what DB has in mind for today; I know he was working on assembling shelves yesterday.  He has mentioned the possibility of taking trash to the landfill and/or taking the load of donations to the Good Will store (who will accept the things the ReStore wouldn’t take).  Either or both of those jobs could take a lot of time … and not be at all fun when today is going to be one of the few actually HOT days we’ve had this summer.  I’d love to be able to take a truck load to the apartment … but I wouldn’t love not having young helpers to get things up the stairs! LOL!

It’s already daylight.  I should have gone on and gotten up at 4:00! I will go find something to work on for awhile, then get a shower.  It’s going to be a long day!!   

Day 145

Day 145

Tuesday, August 19, 2014y

Although I sit down frequently during the day with a variety of excuses … tired, aching, depressed .. I still have to count this as a partially productive day.

I got up around 6:00, and was showered and dressed a little earlier than I have been doing lately.  I worked around in several places, but trying to get at least a few things accomplished.

The guys from ReStore came about 10:30 or so.  They are the same ones who have come previously, and are very nice.  They took all the books, and most of the other accumulated stuff.  They did refuse to take a couple of table top trees .. they said to just throw them away, no one would buy them.  Thaat, of course, made me quite sad.  Because the den was so jumbled, they didn’t get everything in there.  It was nearly impossible to even move around (and it didn’t help to discover the boys had pushed the neatly rolled rugs onto the floor!).  But, they said to just call when I was through and ready for the rest to be picked up.  I will make arrangements for SIL to be here and have them come after I’ve finished moving out.

After they had goneI spent some time reorganizing the spaces left.  There is now a bit more room to move around, and the donation items are a bit better contained.  The table and chairs I sold 2 months ago are still here, and the people have not responded to any attempts to contact them. 

I finally quit procrastinating and started going through the boxes from upstairs.  I ended up with 14 to go through .. and went through all but one.  That one turned out to be full of old photos!  I would have just thrown it away; but DIL said not to, that she will take it home and go through it as well as the others she has taken.

At one point I justpushed myself to keep letting go of things; but the more tired I got, the harder it got.  By the time I finished, I have what I suspect are way too many things to go into storage.  And yet, I have emptied or reused about 2 dozen boxes.  I’ve had to resort to reusing the big plastic totes because I long ago ran out of cardboard boxes.  That means I will end up with even more empty boxes … which will be in the way until I can either get them to storage or give them away (I know several family members will gladly take some of them).

I really dread the concept of having to start over and weed things out even more.  It makes me incredibly sad, especially when all my pretty things are treated like a bunch of junk that should be tossed in the trash.  It makes me feel like things I like are worthless .. and that makes me, my whole life, is just worthless, used up, no longer valid or having any point.

Yes, I know, I’m veering into weey again.  I’m already tired and the day hasn’t started (well, except for gtting my room a bit straightened).  DB/SIL are at DSis’s house, no idea what the plans are.  But since I was unable to get the storage key to DM (because of my own incompetent brain), they’ll have to come here before checking out the storage unit.  That’s extra driving and makes me feel guilty.  SIL (DH’s sister) is taking me to town but I have no idea when;  since she wants us to go to lunch, I’m guessing it will be closer to noon.  So for the morning .. at least until someone gets here … I need to work on the kitchen. 

I don’t know when (or even if) DIL will be able to come again.  She is thinking maybe tomorrow IF her health holds up enough.  I will leave the last bit of random junk in my office closet until last in case she’s able to come help me with that. 

I look around and still feel like there’s a lot left; and I just don’t know how to deal with it, what to pack now and what later … no wait, there’s no more “later”.

I think I need more coffee, and then a shower

Day 144

Day 144

Monday, August 18, 2014

Yesterday was a very busy and exhausting day again.  I don’t feel like I personally got as much done as I should have .. it was a bit of a “floundering” feeling all day.  I slept too late, so got off to a wonky start. It took me too long to get pulled together and dressed, and DIL was waiting for me.  But I finally got more or less “decent”, and we went to pick up the boys.  Interesting “side” note:  requested they grab my (folding) hand truck.  They brought a different one and say they don’t know anything about mine.  What on earth happened to it??  I think it would be good for leaving with the storage … I really want it returned!

A quick stop at the grocery store, and we came on back here.  I had to explain several times, especially to the younger boy, what I needed.  Even later in the day when I thought they were done, turned out there was still a few things upstairs.  But, I just didn’t explain clearly enough (and truthfully, I didn’t remember that there were 2 full size trees stored in boxes, which confused my instructions to the boys: bring down boxes but not trees).  By the end of the day, though, there is nothing left upstairs but standing trees.  This morning I will separate out the very few I will be keeping, and let the ReStore driver go up and get the rest.

My DIL stayed longer than I thought she would.  I was selfishly glad, but should have sent her earlier it seems.  The boys loaded her truck with things to go home with her (including her sister’s baby crib I still had) .. and a sudden rain shower came up.  But worse than that, by the time she got nearly home after leaving mid afternoon, she ran into heavy storms.  When she got home there  was a really heavy downpour, flooded streets, and the power was out.

During the morning my SIL came for awhile.  We visited a little, but mostly she worked on the fish pond.  She has nearly gotten it cleared all the way around (she had to move a lot of good sized rocks that were on the rim, as well as weed all the way around.  It has been there so long it had “grown in”). 

By late afternoon, not too long after dIL left, a friend came by for a visit.  I felt a little guilty just sitting and doing nothing for so long.  But, I got up extra early this morning to make up for it.  Just before she left, a little after 6:00, TGF got here to pick up the boys.  She was too tired to take the trash, but the boys put most of it in the car to be taken today.  I guess the rest will just wait.  After today, when the donations are picked up, I can just put the trash in the back hall out of the way.

After TGF left, it was suddenly quiet.  I worked a little bit longer on sorting more of the stuff brought down (unhappily giving up trees), but had to stop.

Around 9:00 another round of storms went through.  Usually the bands of storms go either north or south of me, but this time they went over.  The power even blipped, but only for seconds.  The TV and internet, of course, went out for around half an hour or so … and I was too tired to even care!

The “good” side of getting over tired is that most of the time I’m too exhausted to get over emotional.  It’s really hard having to let go of so many *treasures*  (and especially hard that things that are so important to me are so totally unimportant to anyone else).  But at times I feel like I’m just operating on “auto-pilot” and not really thinking about anything.

I don’t know what time the pick up will be, just sometime this morning.  They usually call to say they’re on the way.  I will go on and get showered early and be ready.  Then the rest of today has to be for going through the rest (or as much as I possibly can) of the stuff from upstairs.  The pile of empty boxes shows I have made a lot of progress.  The dozen or so boxes I still have to go through … and the alarmingly large pile in the “going to storage” area show that I’m not making nearly enough progress in the letting go of stuff.  I still have to finish packing up the things in the kitchen, and I feel like I have way too much kitcn stuff packed already. 

I’ve sat here and wasted a lot of my “early start”, so time to get busy.  I think it’s going to be another very long day!

Day 143

Day 143

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Yesterday was a very busy and unexpectedly emotional day.Since we didn’t really know how the timing was going to go, DIL and I didn’t start on anything too complicated; but we did work through a lot of random paperwork .. the vast majority of which is trash.

TGF got here a little after noonish.  She had 4 boys with her, so they made fairly quick work of loading the car and DIL’s truck.  Most of my clothes, my plants, and a few other odds and ends went.  At the last minute I put Maggie into her carrier (not difficult, but she doesn’t much like it), and off we went. 

Of course, I found out that all along I’ve had the wrong apartment number.  “B” and “V” sound alike, and no one ever noticed I was saying the wrong thing.  So, we went to the wrong building first.  Plus .. once again, I wa wrong … NOT 3^rd floor, only 2^nd.  Once we finally got to the right place the boys did a fairly good job of bringing everything in.  If, of course, you ignore the fact that they didn’t notice one of the things from my closet was hanging pockets for earrings .. so they left a trail of earrings down the sidewalk and stairs.  Hopefully all of them were found!

I did have a bit of a weepy spell; I just got so overwhelmed, and as I said, hated leaving Maggie.  She’s not very happy and it will take her awhile to settle in (and that won’t happen until after all the moving is done and things quiet down). 

The apartment is nice.  Some areas are smaller than I visualized, others bigger.  I’m rethinking some furniture arrangements, though nothing major. 

After leaving the apartment we all went to the storage unit.  It is much smaller than I pictured, and that makes me panic a little.  There’s just no realiz=stic way to put furniture in there.  It will have to be for only the things boxed up (mostly) to be stored. I still don’t know what’s to become of the things I wanted to sell that no one wants (not even that nice big freezer!!) … but I have a few more weeks even after I move.  I’m still thinking possibly a consignment shop. This whole letting go of stuff is gut-wrenching; and not being able to do anything once I got my mind around giving things up is really tearing up my nerves.

We took the shelving units to storage, and when we went to close it … that’s when I realized I hadn’t left the extra key with DN or DS.  Drat.  So TGF went on home with the boys, but DIL and I went back to the apartment; but got no answer.  (DS replied to text from DIL that DN was probably asleep).   Nothing I can do but give DB the key when he comes later in the week. (Sorry!)

After that we headed home, but she went on to the next town over for us to get some supper.  We went to a nice Mexican restaurant, and had enough to bring home leftovers for today. 

During the evening DIL worked on the filing things a bit more, but was too tired to do a lot.  After all that driving I’m not surprised! 

She fell asleep early; I wasn’t far behind.  But I woke around 3:30, and had a hard time getting back to sleep.  I just dozed off and on until around 6:30.  Now it’s already 8:00, and much to do today.  She is going to go pick up some of TGF’s boys to bring things down from upstairs.  DIL has to go on home; TGF will pick up the boys when she gets off work.  Apparently she plans on that being very late  … I hope she is sending food with them if she expects me to feed them, because I seriously have little here.  I thought she was going to take trash to the dump when she picks up the boys; but she sent DIL a text asking her to take the trash .. said she’d “call” (who??) to say it was OK for a black truck to come.  Really??  She has that kind of power, she can just call someone and OK a truck without a sticker??  Interesting logic, but DIL is certainly not willing to try it!  So, I guess all the trash will just sit here in the way until moving day.  Oh goody.

Well, the day is already flying by, I need to get showered and dressed and get busy!!  I only have 5 days left to get ready, and at least half of one of them will be taken up running errands.  It really is panic time.

Day 142

Day 142

Saturday, August 16, 2014

I was not as productive as I would have liked to have been; but I am seriously fizzling out quicker and quicker.I woke, again, at 4:00ish; so by mid morning I had to sit and doze a bit.  I didn’t do a good job of sticking to one area either; but at least I did make some progress where I did work. 

My SIL came over to begin work on removing the fish pond.  First she decided she could help me by bringing boxes downstairs.  I think she managed 3 before she had to admit defeat!  I had brought down a few things before she got here too.  I did go through everything brought down, and the majority of it will go with donations … and that stuff is seriously taking over. 

During the afternoon I tackled the kitchen, trying to deal with as much as possible of the random stuff still laying around.  It’s hard to figure out what to take and what to just throw away (give away or throw away – same thing, if it’s gone it’s gone).  Plus I’m out of boxes; but am gaining empty plastic totes as I work through the things stored upstairs.  The down side of that, of course, is that they can’t be flattened once emptied, so they’re just as much in the way until I can take them off … where ever they need to go.  I wonder if any family needs plastic storage totes???

In the late afternoon DIL got here.  I’m really glad she came.  With her health issues being so unpredictable, I wasn’t sure she’d be able.  It was nice to have her company last night, as I was really on the edge of getting very weepy.  She finished getting file folders set up; and hopefully tonight we can go through the last little bit of paperwork that needs to be put into the folders.

She also explained to me about the audible books.  It doesn’t sound so bad now.  If I pay $15 (actually it’s $14.95 .. but with tax comes to $15.96) a month, I get a credit.  I can get any book for a credit; but I can also continue to buy any additional books I want.  The advantage to membership is in that by upping the amount the credits get cheaper (i.e. $22 for 2 credits a month) … all the way up to buying 2 years worth (I don’t remember how it works out, but over $200 and credits are about $9.50 each).  For me, since most books average around $15 but some newer ones can be a lot higher, the $22 seems a good deal.  Only $11 each per credit …  and I can let purchased credits build up while I read what I alaready have, or just get too busy to listen to a book for awhile.

And it’s all just something else for me to think about …she put the account on hold for me (but she corrected my credit information first .. and in less than 3 minutes they managed to put through a payment!!)  So I don’t feel so “cut off” now from being able to have books to listen to.  I know getting books on CD (from the library which will only be about 2 blocks away) is an option.  The only downside to that is that it’s not a portable answer, since I don’t have any sort of portable CD player.  Christmas wish list??? LOL

I didn’t get up until about 6:30 … woke once around 4:00, but got back to sleep.  DIL is still asleep, and the house is quiet and chilly.  I know what the plans are for today, but no idea at all when they will happen.  DIL drove the truck, and TGF is to come over (no idea when) with the boys.  We will take Maggie, her supplies (note to self: do NOT forget her food and litter!!), and as much as we can load up.  That will be “small” stuff, things that won’t be in the way of full blown moving next weekend.  My plants, which will go in window sills, the mixer to go on the kitchen counter, my shoe box and shoes to go in my closet; maybe even some of my clothes.  I’m afraid to take too much kitchen stuff until I see what kind of space there is.  I’m seriously afraid I’ve packed too much .. it’s just so hard to figure out not only how to downsize a big kitchen to a tiny one, but not actually knowing what DN has that I’m not to bring.  I guess I’ll find that out today too.

The plan is to have the boys to make multiple trips up the stairs.  DIL won’t be able to manage more than once.  I HAVE to be able to .. but not many, and resting in between.  After we leave there, DIL and I will go by the storage unit to take pictures and measurements for DB, and put my lock on it.

TGF and I had talked about me having the boys here tonight so they could help tomorrow by bringing the rest of the things upstairs down.  But there is very  literally no place for them to be.  So DIL will go pick them up in the morning before she goes back home.  At one time she and I had planned to go to the bank; but since we changed how we will handle the banking, I don’t need to do that.  SIL will take me Wednesday to take care of it, and she will give me the $$ she owes me then too.

My thoughts are just all over the place this morning.I ’m down to 6 days and then moving day; and there is so much left to do.  I’m sure once we make the trip today, and then the ReStore makes their pick up Tuesday, it won’t seem quite as overwhelming.  And I have to keep reminding myself that I actually have a month still until everything needs to be out of the house.  I haven’t given up hope of selling some things … but the “back up plan” may have to be a consignment shop.  I’ll get very little for them, but at least I wouldn’t have to pay for storage (leaving the storage space for things I do want to keep!). If I get the payments I’ve been promised (the only one that is “iffy” is TGF’s friend who wants the washer and dryer.  I don’t know him, and don’t know if he’ll actually come up with the money or leave me short at the last minute … but until I have it, he will NOT get the appliances!) I’ll be OK as long as I’m reasonably careful.  The thing that scares me most is that I’ll have overlapping utility bills, since there will technically be a full month with bills from this house and the apartment (at least the electric).

The morning is wearing on, I need to get myself together.  I’m enjoying having DIL here to talk to; but since I don’t know what will happen when, I better be ready for the day.

Day 141

Day 141

Frisday, August 15, 2014

And yet again, waking up at 4:15.  No wonder I can barely make it through the day.  And worse, there’s nothing on TV but informercials on Saturday morning.

I tried really hard to keep busy; but I have to admit, the stairs nearly defeated me.  But I did managed to make a dent in one pile of things near the door at least.  And almost nothing of it “stays”.    I also got the things  to go to storage neater, and packed most of the random things. 

But the house is still a bit of a disaster.  I had thought once the yardsale stuff was gone it would be better.  Well, the back room is .. but now the den is a complete disaster.  The biggest problem with that is that I still have a lot to go through from upstairs, and there’s nowhere for it to be until pick up.

Late in the afternoon TGF picked me up (when she got off work) and we barely got to the storage pplace in time to secure my unit.  The guy there was a bit snippy when she called to let him know we were on the way; but he was nice when wwe got there.  However, it was after closing by the time he got the paperwork printed and signed.  He didn’t want to take time to go down to the unit, promised someone would take their lock off today.  I can go by tomorrow since we’re supposed to go to town anyway.

We made a stop at Wal-Mart (bubble wrap!!), and it was nearly 8:00 before I got home. 

I still haven’t heard back from the people who bought the table; I hope they don’t expect their money back at this late date … if so, they’d have to wait until I could resell the table.  TGF is going to try to contact the lady on FB since my phone message has not been answered. 

I also never heard from DN, which surprised me.  I thought she’d let me know she’d paid the rent and all and picked up the keys.  As far as I know today is her moving day.

My SIL called yesterday morning, and I had a nice conversation with her.  I emailed a bit with DIL, don’t know yet if she’ll be able to come later today as planned.  It depends on her health, always a little “iffy”.  So for the most part, I guess today will be just trying to get more pacing done.  I think I need to go work in the kitchen a bit .. it’s really getting on my nerves now.  There’s very ittle in there I can’t do without for the next week.

I feel like I got a lot done yesterday, but not enough of it “shows”.  Then I wake so early, and can’t stop thinking about so much to get done.  I’ve not had enough sleep I guess.  I get into panic mode, and get all weepy, and that’s just not a good way to be starting the day.  I think I need to go see if I can get a little bit more of a nap.

Day 140

Day 140

Thursday, August 14, 2014

It’s very ironic that yesterday I didn’t wake up until 7:00, and felt like I was running late (and actually DB was up and about before I was completely ready to face the world!).  But today .. with nothing happening until late in the afternoon … I’m awake at 4:00.

The day continues to a slow start for awhile.  I watched DB maneuver that huge trailer backwards out of my long driveway (which of course he managed beautifully); and then sat down and had a bit of a weepy spell.  And got over it.  I finished sorting all of the boxes that had been brought downstairs, though some are put aside for my SIL to see if she wants (some craft supplies, and some more fabric).  I also got the “staging” room organized, which I’m very pleased with myself for accomplishing.  I really thought it would take me longer than it did.

In the morning I made arrangements for a ReStore pick up next week; and I made arrangements to have the TV satellite service cancelled.  In the afternoon I called to cancel the internet satellite .. that was much less easily done.  The fact is they say I’m tied into a contract and there are NO provisions for life changes.  The best I could do is have it “frozen” for 6 months to give me time to try to get someone else to take over.  Well, that certainly means they will not give me the equipment refund they promised when I first got the service.  Not surprised there.  I only have 5 months left; it’s tempting to just pay them off.  I don’t know of anyone who would be interested in taking over the service, and no idea if they’re going to rent this house out or not.  They won’t even give TGF’s friend an answer (and he’s literally begged them to let him move in!).

On a much brighter note, my other SIL (confusing .. I actually have 5, though 2 of them are not really a part of my life) called and we had a lovely conversation.  She always lifts me up!

Since I am out of bubble wrap (again), and nearly everything left to pack needs to be wrapped to prevent breakage … I suppose today I will bring more boxes down to sort.  I need to get through as much as possible before Tuesday when the donations will be picked up.  I will be giving up trees too .. but no idea where I can put them to wait.  Maybe the porch!

Later in the afternoon TGF is taking me to pay for the storage unit; and while there I will take measurements for DB.  There’s a Lowe’s on the way so we can stop for a adlock .. and bubble wrap!

I don’t often get much done by evening; but if I bring boxes down, I think I will want to go through them. 

I tried calling the people who bought the table, but could only leave a message; they did not call back last night.  I’m down to barely a week, and have things I need to sell .. need the money … and apparently no one wants them.  It’s bad enough no one wants a big entertainment center.  But it seems I can’t even sell my freezer, and I didn’t think that would be a problem.  I don’t know any antique dealers to talk to about the dresser.  And I should try to sell the kitchen table as well.  I am not willing to just give away everything!!!  But I can’t afford to just store things either.  I could probably put the table in a consignment shop, but I’d be almost as well off to donate it (I’d get a better tax receipt than what the shop would pay me!).  I know I could have a “buyer” for the freezer if I was willing to make payments … but I’ve been promised payments by people I trust and they haven’t happened; how can I trust someone I don’t even know?

My “cushion” is that I don’t have to be completely out of this house until Sept. 15^th.  But because everyone works and school will have started, I will only have weekends to get back here to take care of getting anything sold.  I guess I will just have to wait at least that long before I panic.

It’s still way too early, and I’m awake.  I will sit and watch some morning news with my coffee.  Then maybe I’ll get down some boxes, since this is the time of day I have the most energy.  I’d love to wait until afternoon to shower and dress .. but it would be my luck someone unexpected would show up at the door! LOL!   I have no problem with people showing up … but I do prefer to be dressed! J

Day 130

Day 139

wEDNESday, August 13, 2014

Yesterday was extraordinarily busy!!  I got us all off to a late start .. and looks like I’m close to doing that again today.  I didn’t get up until 7:00, which is late for me .. now I need to really hustle! 

We (and by “we” I man DB & SIL!!) moved the furniture out of this room, then started on the upstairs.  They brought down many boxes and random items, and I went through as much as I could.  The give away pile is again taking over; but the storage pile is also getting too big.  I’m trying, really trying, to eliminate more than I keep; but I guess I’m not doing a good enough job of that.

My SIL (DH’s sister) came over, and she helped me with sorting a lot of the boxes.

There are still 5 more boxes to go through, 2 more on the landing; and many many more upstairs that I MUST find time to go through.  Not to mention the trees; although I mostly have already decided about trees.  DB dismantled all the shelving units so that they can be reassembled in the storage unit.

Today I will have to call ReStore and make arrangements for a pick up.  I also have to call the people who bought the table to see when they are coming.  It needs to be gone now! 

Sadly, DB/SIL have to go home this morning.   I will miss their company; I will also miss their helping me keep moving and advising me what I need to get done in what order.  I have a clear  “picture” in my mind of what I need to get done over the next 10 days (the 11^th day is MOVING DAY).  There are a couple of “day trips” that I have to make, so that’s going to leave me about 7 to 7 ½ days to finish.  Geez, 3 months ago I thought I had SO much time (although, admittedly, I didn’t think I would have to sort the upstairs.  Originally I though it could all be put in storage and sorted later .. didn’t realize I couldn’t afford a storage unit that big!!).  Well, I will still have until the middle of September if I need it (considering I will only have weekends when someone can take me back and forth to do more).

This morning I need to get in the shower and get moving!!!

Day 138

Day 138

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Very few things were crossed off my list yesterday; and since there were a few things to add, I have more now to do in fewer days.  But, a huge amount was accomplished … things I didn’t even know needed to be done.  In my defense .. this is a strange experience.  I’ve lived in this house for 13 years, but before this I didn’t live in any one place longer than 5 years since 1965.  That means a lot of moves .. but not alone.  And not from houses this big.   And not so impaired that it was very hard to see what needed to be done.  And I wasn’t this darned old!!!  Usually the TV is enough of a distraction; but at that time of night, not so much.  Finally .. around 4:00 (ish) I ate some cookies, took some Aleve, and put on a sweater.  And went soundly back to sleep, but was awake again just before 7:00.

Yesterday DB orchestrated getting things organized by destination.  One room has things to go to the apartment.  One room has things to go to storage.  One room has things that will be picked up by someone else at some point.  There are some “corss over” things, but they’re already labeled. 

Today’s plan (he just poped in a little bit ago to let me know) is to finish getting everything except this little corner with my computer out of this room.  Then we will start bringing things down from the attic and put in here where I can go through them.   That way I don’t have to deal with the stairs multiple times, or try to work in the heat up there.  (even with the milder than normal summer we’ve been having, much time upstairs gets uncomfortably warm.  Plus, it really doesn’t have very good light for me to work in).

My grands were very useful, even though a few times they did have to be prodded just a little.  They packed up the “wedding china” …. That is the best packed box of china I think I’ve ever seen! LOL!  I had to send a message to DIL to bring more bubble wrap!  They also vacuumed all but one rug and got them rolled up.  And they figured out the scale and made templates of furniture to figure out what will fit where. 

I have learned that the dining room is not nearly as big as I had envisioned; but my room will comfortably fit what I hoped to put in it.  The living room is unsure yet, but I think there’s a tentative plan that will work.

In the middle of the night I get very depressed; but I think it was more from being tired (and awake at a ridiculous time) than anything else.  This whole thing .. alone, nearly blind, giving up a lifetime of accumulating treasures, achy joints and tired muscles .. is just overwhelming, stressful, and depressing.

And I just found out this morning I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep getting  my audio books (on the Kindle).  They now want a membership fee that I find too high.  And it would limit the number of books I’m allowed to get as well.  My world seems to continue to shrink to nothingness.

I guess I better go on and get a shower and get the day going.

Day 137

Day 137

Monday, August 11, 2014

This was one of those good and bad days.  A lot of productive things got done; but not very many items actually came off my list.  TGF came and got most of the items for her classroom (all but one small file cabinet), and she also got all the rest of the books that they picked out to keep.  Getting those out was on my list; but none of them were things that were actually in the way, and the shelves had all been cleared except her books.  Still, it’s done.

The lady who bought my desk came by.  That wasn’t on my list, though I guess it should have been.  I had long since crossed off cleaning out the desk .. just didn’t really think about the time involved to dismantle and move it!  Nevertheless, it was done.  I moved all but the corner pice (but then TGF and I moved them to the porch because she got here before the lady getting the desk).  When the lady got here, 3 of the pieces were out on the porch already (I had moved them back against the railing in case it got rainy again before she came).  I couldn’t move the big corner piece, but she and her husband got that.  The good news is, of course, she paid me.  Also, she gave me her old desk .. so I didn’t even have to set up a card table; plus, it’s small enough, I *might* be able to fit it into the apartment.

During the afternoon I finished sorting pictures.  I probably still have kept back more than I have room for … but that was so hard to do. 

Other than that I tweaked a bit here and there, but didn’t actually accomplish very much. I did manage to put up the 2 loads of laundry I got done.

Around 4:30ish DB & DIL & DP (puppy!) got here.  It took awhile to get their camper trailer set up .. wow is that thing huge! J  Looks rather awesome in my driveway.  Then he went to connect the electric, and ran into problems.  It seems my wonkly old house didn’t want to support the trailer’s needs.  The problem was, eventually, (thankfully!!) solved.  Meantime, they took me to eat (local chicken & bbq place, very good). 

DS & family got here around 10:30ish I thnk.  I was closer to asleep than not, so not even sure of the time.  The kids were a bit on the noisy side getting in the house;  but once they came in, everyone settled very quickly.  In fact, I did more “visiting” this morning as they were gearing up to go to DIL’s appointment. 

The grands are staying here for the day so I will find things for them to do.  But for now, it’s only just daylight, much too early.  I’m always up too early, but don’t want to be and don’t expect anyone else to be.  I will likely just watch morning news awhile and then get in the shower.   I don’t have clear cut goals for the day; but I’m thinking in terms of perhaps letting the kids pack the good china, and maybe ferry things down the stairs if I work on clearing upstairs.  First I’ll need to carve out a spot for thing to land!  I think, too, I’ll get DB & DIL to walk the house with me and spot any areas I’ve forgotten to clear.  I sure hope there aren’t too many; but until I get the boxes a little better organized (in theory, now that some furniture is out of the way I should be able to do that) I won’t be able to tell.

Day 136

Day 136

Sunday, August 10, 2014

Even though TGF did way more of the work than I did, I was really exhausted by the end of the day.  She was late picking me up, but since it was still raining it didn’t much matter.  It kept on raining for at least the first hour we were at the flea market before it finally tapered off and quit.

In the late morning TGF got her frind D (she had a few things there too); but then TGF had to go home for awhile.  D was working on homework .. and I ended up spending around 2 ½ to 3 of the most boring hours ever!!  The lady at the flea market would wander up and talk to me occasionally.  She actually had some business.  But in the end the only sales I had were to her, the owner, and D.  Oddly enough, after the rent, gas, and breakfast the 3 days .. I did end up making about $30.  And, we were able to get everything left into one load and delivered to a Good Will.  That’s all good; but it is frustrating to have lost 3 days  I’m down to only 13 days and still 32 items on my list … and only 9 of them thngs I will need help with (and 5 of those are specific, must be DIL or DSS). 

After delivering the “left overs”, TGF went by the grocery store and then we came out here.  DSS also came.  She left her boys at home to fend for themselves (BGS16 had brought home a lot of food left over from a wedding he went to with his girlfriend, so they were all ready to chow down!).  She cooked hamburger dip for us (we were too tired for anything more “extravagant”!)  TGF and DSS finally went through the books.  They are now in neat stacks, and they have taken most of theirs home; and the ones they haven’t taken yet will be taken today. 

I had been thinking to donate the books to the library.  But, turns out they won’t accept large amounts at once.  So the “back up plan” is to let Habitat have them, along with any surplus Christmas decorations.  Even though nearly everything has been claimed now, there might be a few things I come across, especially upstairs (there’s more than “just” Christmas up there). 

I have a feeling I’m sort of rambling and possibly not making a lot of sense this morning.  My mind just keeps whirling in so many directions.  There are too many unknowns that are making me crazy.  TGF hasn’t heard yet from her friend if he wants to buy the small freezer … but I’m going to put the big one up on FB for sale.  I’m not working on “credit” with anyone else, tired of getting ripped off. 

Today TGF is going to try to come get the things to go to her classroom.  She’s been trying for several weeks, but the school kept telling her to wait because they were refinishing the floors.  Now she only has today or Friday .. and school starts a week from today.  If we can get her things there today between showers, she will have Friday to set it up (she has to be out of town for training tomorrow through Thursday).  I think on Friday we will take a few things to her mom.  I have an old dresser upstairs I’m giving her (mom) to keep clothes for her grandchildren at her house.  Also, we’re taking the dollhouse to her.  She will fix it all up and make it beautiful, and then try to sell it and we’ll split the profit. 

Sometime in between all this I need to get to DSis’s house before Friday. I have a couple of things for the apartment, including a new broom, that I want her to have when she moves in; but right now I don’t know if I’ll be able to get there  or not.  DS will not be there, but if I leave the things at her back door they’ll be OK.]

I need to try to concentrate on one day at a time, not get so wrapped up in what will happen the rest of the week.  Today is enough to handle.  It’s starting to be daylight, but still overcast.  I need to go on and get my shower, get a load of laundry done, and figure out what I can work on until TGF gets here.

Day 135

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Yesterday was discouraging to say the least.  It started out OK.  TGF got here right on time.  We stopped at Waffle House for breakfast .. which wasn’t all that much of a “splurge”, because neither of us needed any lunch.  But it went somewhat downhill from there.  It was a little after 10:00 when we got to the building .. but we still had to wait about 10 minutes for the lady to open up.  It was raining by then, so we carried the few things we had brought in as quickly as we could, and got things a little rearranged. 

And then we waited.

It was well after noon before anyone showed up.  During the course of the afternoon, TGF’s BFF came by for awhile.  Then her sister came, with her 5 y/o and the 7 m/o twins.  TGF’s other friend kept insisting we could find room for some of her yardsale things, so TGF sent her sister to bring the friend over so she could see for herself.  Well, said friend bought a set of Christmas dishes that match some she already has (on credit, but I know I can trust her to pay me before moving day) .. and that made room for her to bring some things.    Kind of silly.  Anyway, during the afternoon there was TGF, myself, BFF, the friend with sale things, her adult (but not quite all there) son, TGF’s sister, and the babies (we went the 5 y/o over to TGF’s house with the other kids including the 18 y/o to watch over them plus another friend’s 16 y/o who was there).  Well, I got to hold babies a lot during the afternoon .. even got to feed them, and walked one to sleep at one point.  That was pretty much the highlight of my day!

We asked, and were told they aren’t normally open on Sunday.  Since we have to get everything packed up and out on Monday, we felt a little cheated … that $50  seemed really high for only a day and a half!  But the lady who runs the place (she and the owner are friends, and she is paid to stay there 3 days a week) switched days and will come in today.  That was very nice of her!   But, then owner is absolutely not interested in buying out what’s left.  She already got what she wanted (and absurdly good prices I must say .. but I am taking the attitude that anything I sell is profit if I make expenses.  Which I have not).  So TGF got out her phone (which only seemed to work in between showers).  She found out that my preferred charity, Habitat, is closed on Monday.  But she did find a Good Will that is open today and can receive donations up to 6:00.  So, we will pack up by mid afternoon and take it all over there.  Or at least, we’ll try very hard.  The big problem is that it took several trips to bring it all out.  We’ve sold 2 of the biggest items (large bedside tables); and TGF’s friend is deciding on the kitchen cabinets.  I’ve given her way too good a price .. but if she gets them, and if DSS drives his truck as well, we might be able to get everything to the GW in one trip.  Well, we really have to.  There’s no choice … well, yes, there’s a “choice”.  Some of it has to stay at DSS’s house until it can be taken off.

It’s all just so frustrating.  And I need to sell another $20 or $30 to at least break even (which includes gas plus eating breakfast each day in addition to the cost of the space). 

I’m trying very hard to take the view that if I break even it’s not cost me anything and all of that stuff is out of the house.   But it’s really hrd to overlook that I now have less than 2 weeks and an awful lot of stuff yet to do.

TGF’s friend (the one who wants the house) definitely wants to buy the washer and dryer and will come up with cash before the move (he can’t take them until the 22^nd anyway).   He wanted the freezer, but wanted to make payments.  I told her to offer him the smaller freezer for half the price, and make payments.  Then I can still try to sell the big freezer.  I haven’t gotten an answer on that.   He was at the flea market yesterday … I told him to keep trying to get in touch with the landlord; there’s nothing I can do at this point, it’s up to him to persuade them.

I was home last night by not too much after 6:00.  I rested a bit, got some supper.  Then I pushed myself to get *something* done.  Two areas on my list I’ve been putting off, so I worked on those.  I sorted out the few things it seemed worth my time to get out of the big box of tools in the pantry.  Then I put everything else .. including 3 hammers and 2 mallets .. in a box for DSS.  I have a tool box of my own, so it’s in the living room waiting for me to sort through it and make sure I’m only taking a few things that could realistically be useful.  The apartments have maintenance, so unlikely to need much; but it could be useful at times to have a hammer or a screwdriver (flat and phillips).  Also, I gathered up most of the framed pictures.  I have to sort those into a few I will realistically have space for, and pack the rest into storage.  That is something I can from time to time change out with only a bus ride to storage, and not something too heavy to carry.  I think I have all the big (wall) stuff sorted, although I know I have way more than we will be able to use.   I just can’t sort them any further until we get there and decide what can go where … and I’m sure (and it will make me sad) .. some of those will go in storage along with the pile of them I already put aside.   And no, I won’t get rid of them … the vast majority are either family photographs or something done by a family member (paintings, cross stich, etc). 

I again fell asleep and missed more than I watched on TV.  And again, was awake by 5:00.  I thought I could maybe get in another hour .. but no, the mind wouldn’t shut down.  The forecast today is for mostly cloudy with “scattered showers”.  I sure hope they scatter when we have to load and move all that stuff.  Right now (just barely beginning to be hints of daylight) it’s been pouring for nearly an hour. (and at the moment it’s raining so hard there’s no internet signal!).

I still have  about 2 hours before TGF comes this morning.  I think I will try to get the den a little better organized, and maybe see if there’s any more random kitchen stuff I can go on and pack. Much as I wished for bigger boxes earlier, now I’m wishing I had a few more smaller ones (for heavier stuff like dishes) … but they’re all tied up with yardsale stuff, and I’m unlikely to get them back. 

Or maybe I’ll just go listen to the news and doze awhile and then get a shower.  It’s pretty dreary to have any ambition this morning.