Day 80

Day 80

Monday June 16, 2014

Yesterday was a bit disappointing, and exhausting.  I’m doing the best I can, but it’s very frustrating to not only have limited ability to tell what some things are; but have no boxes to be packing things in.  I was given very good advice about where to get some … but with no one who has time or willingness to bother (i.e., TGF refuses to go get anything that needs to be bought.  She insists she can get boxes.  She keeps telling me that I need the money.  Really?  Then why were they so willing to spend MY money – that I have so little of – to go to the OBx?) 

My SIL never came over, but she did call.  She had clearly completely forgotten she’d ever said she’d come.  But she’s also got some health issues going on, and the heat effects her badly.  I won’t get much “help” from her, but there are still some books for her to go through, and I have a bunch of stuff put aside for her.

The people who said they were interested in the kitchen cabinets never showed up.  Apparently they never put any message on FB either.  Because I got so many inquiries about those from the start, I thought I had priced them too low.  But it might be that people are ignoring the pix (or can’t tell), and thinking they’re the kind of cabinets you build in.  Whatever.  They’re still not sold.

Meantime, I had to try to empty them.  I was working on the assumption that if someone came all the way out here, with cash … they’d expect the cabinets to be ready to take with them.  In the end, I dragged out my totes.  Some of them were new (slated for gifts eventually) .. but it was the only thing I could find to put the contents in.  I only did one tall (pantry) cabinet, and 2 small ones.  I still have one of each to empty. 

There has been absolutely no interest whatsoever on anything else.  That is depressing and discouraging.  For one thing, TGF is right – I do need the money.  Besides, what I have for sale is stuff I can’t possibly use in a small apartment.  And I refuse to just give it away (I’m doing that with a massive amount of stuff already).  I hate the thought of having to get a bigger storage unit, but I don’t know what else to do.  (storage unit as in *ground floor*, not having to be carried up steps!).  And that means it costs me instead of making more money. 

Well, meantime, I’ve been using some small plastic boxes (of which I have a LOT) to pack up various decorative items .. things I know I want to keep, but aren’t “essential” now.  Every time I pack a little box of things like that, I at least make it easier to begin to see what’s left.

I started counting bookcases, and nearly panicked.  NO, I really do not need so many, especially since nearly all the books will be gone before the move.  But I do have other stuff … pictures, candles, pictures, flowers, pictures, etc.  And no, ALL of it doesn’t have to be “out” … I can rotate things I enjoy.  If I can get the books taken care of, I could make myself let go of some (most!) of the bookcases.  But .. I don’t seem to be doing such a good job of selling anything.  So one more thing I’m expected to just give away?

I know this move is the right thing to do.  But it’s so very hard to walk away from such a nice big house to a very small shared place, and be forced to give up nearly everything.  So many people feel it’s just fine to tell me what I do or don’t “need”, with no regard at all for my feelings.  And someone else encouraging me to sell everything .. again, with no regard to what I might want to keep … and yet, nothing seems to be selling.  (half the items listed have never had so much as an inquiry).  And I’m being pushed to clean out cabinets and drawers and everything, and put as much as possible into a yardsale.  Well, I’ve never exactly made much money doing that either.  I know this one is different, and the kids will be able to have a good location.  I also know that they’ll end up with a substantial chunk of anything earned … so I’ll end up letting go of a lot of my things with very little (if anything) to show for it.  And I will be expected to be *grateful* that someone was kind enough to help me by getting all that “junk” out of the house.

I have to find a way to change my sleep pattern.  I’m waking up too early, and feeling tired and grumpy.  But the last few nights, I’ve tried to watch something at 10:00 … and blinked … and Letterman was on.  I totally slept through the news. L  Then it was hard to get back to sleep, and then waking up so early.  I’m not really getting enough sleep.  I can’t resort to sleeping pills (mostly because in general they don’t work).  Things like Tylenol PM, or even melatonin help me go to sleep … but that’s not the problem.  I need to STAY asleep, at least until daylight!

Maybe after the move is done I’ll be less stressed.  I know it will take some time to get adjusted to such drastic changes.  And we will have to learn as we go which areas we will have to compromise on.  But at least it should be in more comfortable surroundings.

I have no clue what I will try to get done today  I don’t know when the people are coming for the table, so I can’t really use it for “staging”.   Maybe I’ll set up a cardtable in the guest room and start piling up the books that are left.  It’s a little frustrating, because I’m not sure which have been gone through.  But, TGF (who is the main one who wants books, for her classroom) has had chances to go through a lot of them. Once the table is gone, I will put the card table in the dining room.   All books that are “claimed” but not leaving immediately (I accept that she can’t take her books until she has her classroom and can put the bookcases in) will have a specific place to wait.  All the rest are going to be donated to the library.  I’ve said I’ll wait until the end of July … but really, there’s no need.  Not many people seem to want actual books any more.  So maybe by the end of June, whatever is left goes to the library. 

There doesn’t seem to be any hurry.  But I suppose I’d best start the day and see where it goes.