Day 78

Day 78

daym June 14, 2014

So, one phase of my life is over.  My husband is, I believe, at peace .. he is where he most loved to be.  It was a traumatic day in a lot of ways; but the actual “release” went perfectly.  And I handled it well.  I was afraid I’d be a blubbery mess, but I wasn’t.  I did have one small “melt down” … a lot to do with  communication issues; my DIL helped, and I got past it. 

I was glad DS and DSS and their families (all 8 kids) were able to come.  But they all had issues of their own .. some dealing with health issues, some just dealing with all those kids.  Oh and the dog!! (DSS’s boxer)  My friends met us there, and I was ever so grateful!!  For one thing, they went to the trouble of scouting out locations and possibilities ahead for us.  For another, they were not emotionally “involved” and therefore a bit of a calming influence.  And .. they’re just good friends, and I was glad of some time with them.

We (DS & family plus my friends) ended up going to my favorite beach bar for lunch.  Then we went back to town to the shop where their daughter works.  The kids wanted some souveniers; and my DIL got me a “dammitt doll”. J

Due to the communication issues, we ended up sitting in the car for around an hour waiting to meet up with DSS & drew.  DS offered to take me on home with them again;  but I really just felt like I needed to get home.  On the way home, I did wonder why …. I rode with TGF and her 3 youngest.  They were silly, annoying, fidgety, whiny … all the things little boys can be.  And it was a VERY long ride home.  We followed DSS (driving DGS21’s car), and he took about the strangest route I’ve ever heard of.  He went west, then turned south …. I’ve never ever gone between the OBx area and where I live now by going through Rocky Mount!!!!

And .. with no apparent concrn for my situation … they were perfectly OK with me pay all the gas to go up there and back, plus helping DGS21 with his gas.

This morning I am very weepy; but I guess a large part of that is just left over tired.  Even though I’m very glad I can now feel like I’ve finally “let go” of DH, I’m still overwhelmed with what I need to do here.  For all the stress a few months ago about that dratted cardboard piling up  … I now have no boxes to start packing in! 

I know I need to try to concentrate on the things I can sort instead of worrying about all the things I can’t work on until I have help.  Sadly (for me) I have to seriously downsize my collection of dishes.  I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to “set” the table any more at all.  But I’m pretty sure I can keep the kitchen cupboard I love (DSis measured), so perhaps I can use part of that for the prettier dishes.

I suppose if I spent more time *doing* and less time thinking about what needs doing, I’d accomplish more.  Tomorrow my SIL has said she’d come over.  She will take several of the things out of the yard  She will also go through a shelf of craft books.  I don’t know what else.  At first TGF said she would come over in the afternoons (work in her house in the morning); but oh, wait.  She has something to do Monday (no problem, SIL is coming (maybe).  And Tuesday she has to go sign her contract.  *Maybe * by Wednesday she can spare me a few hours .. she’ll need to do laundry by then anyway.

Whatever.  It’s time to get in the shower and then get the poor outside cats fed.  I’m sure the little babies are more than ready.  Oh, and I have 2 messages on the phone about some things listed on Craigs List.  I will call them back (at a reasonable hour).It’s a little discouraging that the only calls I’ve gotten are about the cheap cabinets that I’m actually still using  Anyway.  TGF may come over this afternoon with an empty tote to get the last of the random small stuff left in the bedroom.  I plan to start using that area for things that can go to the yardsale (Johnston Co. “endless” Yardsale) next weekend.  Since I don’t expect to ever actually receive any money, it will only be the kind of stuff I’m putting aside to donate anyway.

And yet, I keep sitting here.  Going now!