Day 71

Day 71

Saturday, June 7, 2014

This was a little bit of a strange day.  I did talk to a friend briefly; and emailed with my BFF and my DIL.  Otherwise, quiet.  And it occurred to me to add one more item to my “pro” list … the ability (not quite the right word but I can’t think of another right now) to just step outside and walk somewhere .. actually have somewhere to walk to, and see people (preferable people who speak the same language I do),  even if it’s just to say “good morning” or “good eening”.  I think I would not feel so trapped, and so dependent on people who just don’t have time to be bothered.

I know lately I’ve been on a rant against TGF .. but I’m really upset with the whole situation.   She came across as a bit annoyed (and I have witnesses who I think will back up my impression) at having to stop in the middle of *her* plans to pick up her laundry that she’d forgotten; and to grab a bag of trash she’d forgotten; and she seemed to be mostly unconcerned about the cat’s “accidents”.  The next day I wrote to ask if she knew where my pot holders were, and the following day she came by and brought me some of them (had been left in the car when she carried home food she had cooked while here).  I know I’ll never see the rest of them;  she totally does not like to return things.  I don’t think it’s that she wants to keep things she “borrows” .. she just doesn’t want to be bothered with the actual remembering and returning.  And, most of the things she has (except my little folding hand truck, which I’m sure they really want to keep) are fairly small and insignificant items, it would only make me look selfish and petty to continue to demand them back. Maybe I can just give her all of the pot holders and blow about $4 at the dollar store for some nice new ones … IF and when I move that is.

Anyway, I’ve not heard a single word since.  No phone call, no email.  She’s not working now, and neither she nor DSS care in the least how I’m doing or if I need anything.  They’re using MY car, I shouldn’t have to beg them to take trash to the dump or anything.  Years ago I asked DSS for the little trailer so I could clean up a lot of the junk that has been dumped in the yard.  The trailer belonged to DH.  DSS always had excuses, and would never bring it … and back then I could drive, and had help.  Now I have neither, and he *said* a few months back he was going to bring the trailer and haul off the junk.  And it still hasn’t happened.

I admit I told him he didn’t have to “hurry” to sort his dad’s stuff . but, it’s been over 2 months now and there’s still a lot of stuff that he is supposed to take away.  I’ve about had it with his continued attitude that where ever I live is his personal (free) storage locker.

I am not getting my day off to a good start getting angry all over again.  It is what it is, but the sooner I can get away the better .. because the situation here simply is not going to get better.

Yesterday I got yet another shelf on the big “entertainment center” cleared off.  Geez, I thought I had found all the VHS tapes … not!  They were THREE deep!!  And there’s still a shelf to go.  I had to stop, all the dust was making my head and my stomach hurt.  A great many more than I thought were purchased movies, but at least I have someone to give those to along with the VCR.  I also found another pile of what I *think* are CDs, but I’m not sure.  It is SOOO frustrating.  There just HAS to be things I can do without needing help with every stupid little thing!!

DSS and TGF used to come on Sundays.  Now, of course, everything has changed .. except that DSS is still working, which has been his excuse for not coming any other day (except when it suited him to take a day off).  And TGF said she’d try to get him to come over this weekend to get more of the stuff out of the bedroom.  I guess I’ll try to finish sorting the tapes this morning and be done with that (just in case … 3 ½ bags of trash so far and a shelf still to go).  And I don’t want to be doing that if she brings the boys over (though she may well leave them at home to go to the swimming pool. 

It’s nearly time for eye drops, and then to get the day started.  I need to keep busy so I quit getting so frustrated and angry!