Day 211

Day 211

Sunday December 22 2013

Physical:

This was not even remotely a good day.  DH woke up  around 4:30.  He did finally go back to sleep off and on, but by 7:30 I had to get him up.  His mind was so far “gone” I just didn’t know what to do.  He was furious with me, and insisted on “going home”.   I even slapped him once.  Yes, I feel very guilty for that.  He kept trying to pull the sheets off the bed because he said he was looking for the car keys – and I slapped his arm away.  It was not a “hard” slap; but I forget how easily he bruises, so it left a big red mark. L

Once I had him up, he absolutely refused to let me get him into his chair.  He wanted the phone so “call the manager” to let them know he was leaving “this place”.  And at one point he told me he would not go to his chair because I’d “hide” his wheelchair and he’d be “trapped” in the chair.  At least he did take his pills and drink with no problem.

After about 4 hours, he finally wanted to go to the bathroom.  He *thought* he was going to roll himself in, but realized he couldn’t do that.  He decided to allow me to take him back to the commode in the bedroom.  And then after using it, decided maybe he would lay down for a little while.

I didn’t get him back up, but after napping for awhile, he again started trying to get off the bed.  I just kept telling him to wait for DSS who would be here soon.

Once TGF and then DSS got here (no kids this time, all at the other granny’s house), I left it to DSS to get him up.  He told me later he was talking “off the wall” all afternoon.

Oh, I forgot, after DSS got him up, I did make him a sandwich before we left.  I’m pretty sure DSS and DH had some sherbert during the afternoon (which is fine of course).

TGF and I got our shopping done, and stopped by Zaxbys for some take out supper. 

After we ate, they went on home.  DH was starting to say he was tired (by then it was close to 7:00).  I told him his favorite show was coming on, and then I hurried to get dialysis set up.  But then he said he wanted to keep watching TV .. and promptly fell asleep in his chair.

When I went to get him up, he was sound asleep, and I couldn’t get him really awake.  So when I tried to move him to th wheelchair, he just sagged .. before I could get him moved over.  He went down on the floor, I fell one way and the wheelchair went the other.  He wasn’t hurt; my knees are not happy, but no serious damage done to either of us.

I was not able to get DSS on the phone, so I called 911.  I also notified hospice.  The EMTs got here, helped me get him off the floor, and then stayed until I had gotten him safely on the bed.  Just after I had given him the last pills of the day, a hospice nurse got here.  She also checked him out.

He went promptly to sleep.  About an hour later he woke up (didn’t think he’d been to sleep), but was not agitated and went on back to sleep (had to assure him that we would take care of “closing the aquarium” in the morning.)  He was restless a lot during the night, but not enough that I had to get up again.

People:

DSS spent the afternoon with DH.  And the EMTs and a night nurse were here.

Emotions:

Drained exhausted, and scared.  Not of the falls (though it’s very worrisome .. it’s harder and harder to move him; and yet I really have no choice.  ).  But the mental breakdown is not something I have any clue how to deal with.  I keep being told to “just go along” with him.  But when he’s trying his best to get off the bed – to the point I’m seriously afraid he’ll break the bed and/or hurt himself, I can’t “humor” him.  When he is insistent on getting “in the front seat” and driving “home” at 3:00 in the morning, how can I “humor” him???    And I don’t know how to deal with his always wanting to “go home”.  The worse he gets the more alone I feel.

This morning he seemed closer to “normal” (though I’d not really sure what that is any more).  But when I took him his pills, he got choked and gagged .. could barely get his breath.  I raised the head of the bed, and he finally got settled .. he said it’s the pills.  For some reason when he takes the morning pills he frequently chokes .. even though he has twice as many at night and also while laying in bed.  But, I will have to start raising the bed up for him to take them.  Once he settled down, he asked me “how was last night”?  I thought he meant if I had slept .. so I asked what he meant .. and he said “at work”.  >sigh>

Time to go get a shower and get this day started .. much to do and no idea how much time I’ll actually have to do it!