Day 208

Day 208
Thursday December 19 2013
Physical:
This was an odd day.   At first this morning DH was relatively calm.  He was in the aquarium, in a car, and briefly in an airplane.  He kept wondering where all the people were.  But he wasn't overly agittated.  Unfortunately the CNA was later, and by 12:30 he was absolutely adamant about getting out of bed.  I got him up , but she was here about half an hour later. (and he thought she was here to cut his hair).  After his bath she brought him back to the recliner.  I brought him his pills; and right after that he went to sleep!
This evening though, he keeps wanting to go home.  I explained to him 3 times that he IS at home; so he finally settled for asking me to call his mother and tell her where he is.  Not sure I can call that loud since she's been gone more than 20 years.  
He seems more distressed tonight.  The whole thing about this is our home is just not registering.
People:
The CNA, as I said, came a bit late.  I did finally get a volunteer.  A very nice lady came over, and we pretty much spent the afternoon talking.  I couldn't locate the recipe I wanted, but she said she'll come back again and we'll bake.
This evening the MK lady brought my order.
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I started writing last night but will try to add a note this morning.  I may not have much time as he's fretting a bit.  I got DH to bed around 8:30 (Thursday nights he gets an "extra" "Big Bang"! LOL).  By 10:30 he was awake again, and absolutely nothing I could say would convince him that he wasn't in a car.  And he was determined to get out.  He kept saying the seat wouldn't "fold" right; then he tried to sit up see where he was going.  I decided to try the gel - he didn't try to fight me on that at least.  He did gradually calm down and quit struggling; but   But even after he calmed down, and I had stood there a few minutes - he told me to "open the door and have a seat". :(
He woke again around 3:30, but calmed down and went back to sleep quickly.
This morning he's on a bus. :(
Emotions:
The whole issue with him either thinking I'm his mom, or wanting to call her, has me feeling really sad.  I hope he's going to settle quickly tonight; but if he doesn't at least I know I have the gel as a back up.
This morning I feel a bit depresssed, but probably just because I feel tired.  I did get back to sleep (eventually), but an interrupted night just is not restful. My knees and back are achy and I dread having to heft DH around.  And I feel guilty for feeling that way.  And I feel tired of feeling guilty.