Day 194

Day 194
Thursday December 5, 2013
I believe I got my days mixed up yet again.  I don't think the actual number matters all that much since I started dating each entry anyway.
I think yesterday's entry got a bit jumbled .. that happpens when I'm too tired and get interruptions!
Physical:
Thursday was a bit of a better day.  Well, mostly.  I went to get DH up .. because he kept stirring around and fretting.  But then he didn't want to get up.  He ended up staying in bed until the CNA came.  Once he was up, he seemed OK, only minorly confused; and he was alert in between naps.
I changed the meals regimen a bit.  I gave him a pot pie around 4:00, and then a ham sandwich around 7:30.  I don't know if my theory was right or not; but once he finally went to slee, he did sleep through the night (other than the coughing).  About 11:00 (PM) he insisted on getting up to use the commode.  I was NOT happy .. could barely hold my eyes open at the time.  And then he did Nothing!
People:
A substitute CNA came, a lady we've had before and she's very nice.  We ended up having a long conversation.  The chaplain came.  I'm always delighted to see him .. he's one of those kind people who just make me feel comforted.  Unfortunately, timing was not great.  We did chat some, but then the CNA got there.  He went in to see DH before the CNA got started with the bath.  But then he got a page, so the visit was shortened.  That was disappointing, but it happens.  He did say he'd come back next week.
Emotions:
I've said before, emotions expressed when I'm tired are not "true" feelings, as they are colored by exhaustion and not to be trusted. I did get a better night's sleep, once I finally got to settle down.  I don't ever sleep soundly, as I'm very aware when he gets a coughing spell.  But if I don't have to wake up enough to get up, I am usually able to go back to sleep.  I did not want to get up, but it wasn't as hard as yesterday!
I have been able to make a bit of a start on Christmas decorating.  But the outside looks quite horrible.  The black cat from Halloween is still on the porch (under the glider).  An old worn out "bookcase" (that was actually the top plart of a china hutch that someone threw away years ago) is on the porch waiting to get to the burn pile - along with, again, many weeks worth of cardboard tht they refuse to put into the truck with the trash (but then, they keep ignoring part of the trash even when very specifically reminded).  I thinkTGF wanted it .. but they think I should just leave things in the house until it suits them to take them away.  I am NOT a warehouose, and I'm tired of doing that.  (frankly, I'm sick to death of the whole attitude that I shouldn't have or do anything that they can't have or do .. I think after having done the best I could to riase my son, partially raise DSS, have both of them along with wife and 2 kids (NOT at the same time!) live with us for several years, I've earned the right to try to have my home the way I want it.
I *might* have some help today (no idea with what .. decorating, books, yard, or what?) .. but I've been let down so many times that I won't count on it until it happens.  Also,  I still *might* get to go to the parade tomorrow.  At one point it was looking like the parade might get rained out, or at least the band not be able to be in it.  But it's sounding more like the rain will be earlier in the day (parade is not until 3:00) .. so waiting to see how things go.  I SO need that day off!!