Day 107

(Saturday and)Sunday September 8, 2013
V/S: 0/7, B/P 176/102 (down to "normal" range by noon); HR 77
9/8: BP 192/87, HR 77
Physical:
He is weaker at times, but at random times he seems stronger.  His breathing at night continues to sound ragged; but there's a lot of snoring.  He has refused to use the BIPAP since he got on the oxygen.
When he got up - somewhere between 2:30 and 3:00 - he wanted to sit on the B/C first.  He kept sitting doubled over (said no pain, don't know why sitting like that).  He couldn't seem to sit up straight though, when trying to get him dressed and into the wheelchair.  He kept bending over in the wheelchair too.  Then getting him into his chair was way more difficult than usual. He just couldn't seem to straighten his legs at all.  
Once in the chair, he did sit up for longer than usual, around 5 hours; but he was clearly confused a lot.  Even DSS saw a lot of that going on.
He is again eating very little.
He woke me again at 4 AM, talking.  I went in and asked who he was talking to, and he said "those people at the bank in New Bern".  I told him to go back to sleep - which he did; but I couldn't as usual.
People:
There was no one here on Saturday.  On Sunday TGF brought her boys over to do some jobs for me (theey did not do a very good job though), and she helped me with some visual issues.  DSS came over later.  He did the heparin injection; and they both helped make some changes in the bedroom to make it safer and to move the TV so he can see it better.
Emotions:
I got a letter in the mail that I thought concerned my vision and my driver's license.  TGF confirmed it - I have until the end of September to get a doctor to complete a form stating I can drive, otherwise my license will be revoked.  There is NO doctor who would comlete that form ... aside from the fact that I have no way of making an appointment and having someone come stay with DH at the same time and all within the next few weeks.  
Since TGF got a bit irritated with me, commenting that *they* all work (obviously I never did and sit around doing nothing now), they can't be running all the way out here every day.  I wasn't aware that's what I had been asking of them, but it sure will stop now.  I'll just keep driving illegally, nothing else I can do.
Back in July I paid for them to get a trash sticker, with the understanding that DSS would grab our trash when he came out here and take it with his shop trash.  Early this month, when mine and his stickers were not only expired but past the "grace" period, and they still hadn't gotten theirs, I went on and ordered my sticker online.  TGF got their sticker between the time I ordered one and it came in the mail.  But she didn't give it to DSS, so the day mine came he put it on the car and took a car full of trash.  Now I have another load .. bags piled up in the hall, and outside.  Did anyone bother to grab any of it?  Of course not.  So TGF most graciously (sarcasm) said she'd come by today (since she picks her boys up from school a mere 5 miles away) so I can take my trash and go to the local quick mart for milk and bread (did NOT offer to do it for me of course).  
She said we should call J-Cats (county transport service).  I will call, but I think DH's physical problems might be an issue.  I do have the option of calling EMS for transport to get him to clinic.  *IF* they're available, it's a mere $115 each day.  And I guess I'll be forced to give up getting meds at the pharmacy that has been so good, and go back to either mail order, or get from the MUCH more expensive pharmacy where TGF works.
And just how is all this whining related to DH?  Well, he can't be left alone.  So if I need someone to drive me somewhere, it would mean needing TWO people.  And it's hard enough just to get one.
OK, enough of complaining.  I'll just have to do what I can; but I certainly won't be imposing on TGF (or DSS since she doesn't like for us to take him away from work) any more.
Besides being angry and frustrated, I just feel sad.  I'm not sure who is this stranger in my home that I'm taking cre of.  The man I married has gone away, and he's not coming back.