Day 105

(Thursday and) Friday September 6, 2013
V/S: 09/05/13 B/P 152/78; HR 76; did not take on Friday due to too much activity for accuracy.
Physical:
DH's breathing continues to sound ragged at night, like he's struglling.  I often have to check that he's still actually breathing the oxygen.  ISince it's more often at night, it seems like it would help if the head of the bed was a bit elevated; but usually he doesn't like that.  A time or two I've tried it anyway, but since he often manages to wiggle toward the foot of the bed, and at an angle, it doesn't make much difference anyway.
It remains strange to me how much upper body strength he has (especially his hands), and yet none at all in his legs.  If he were lucid all the time I'd suspect he was "faking"; but that's not the case.  I've still not heard about the patient lift, which kind of surprises me.
He spends more and more time in bed..  He also spends more and more time in a confused state.  On Friday he became convinced *people* (not sure who) were trying to steal his stuff.  He thought someone had taken the little leather jacket (had been Carl's as a baby) ... even when I showed it to him with the flashlight, he thought it was gone.  At one point duringg the morning he got the gun cabinet open and took out a shotgun.  That unnerved me a lot, even though I knew that NONE of the guns are loaded..  It wasn't shooting the gun  that worried me, it was the handling of it - possibly knocking things over, breaking glass, etc. was an issue.  
Laater I caught him trying to pull the over-the-bed table into the bed with him.  When questioned, he said he was putting it into the car.  I just told him "no, it stays here".  I noticed the water bottle was gone, and he said he had thrown it out the car window.  Fortunately, the lid was on.  Wednesday he dumped a bottle of water (not a full one, but still) "out the window" (large wet spot on carpet!).  I have a "sippy cup" I use for him for early morning and night time pill taking.  Maybe I need another one for bedside instead of regular water bottles.
(Note: Saturday morning - when questioned, he said he was in church.  I'm glad he finally got out of the bank parking lot.)
People:
On Thursday DSS came over in the late afternoon.  He visited awhile (which is always good for DH, as he seems to pay more attention to DSS than anyone else).  He also took a load of trash to the dump and got gas in the car for me, as well as did the heparin injections.  Later, just as we were trying to eat dinner, the neighbor came over with 4 of her kids.  There was a little bit of translation, but mostly they talked to each other in Spanish and seemed happy for us to just "enjoy" the antics of the 2 year old.  For someone who had tried so hard to push food at us, it seemed very odd that she ignored that Jimmy's dinner was sitting there getting cold!  She wanted to pray for Jimmy, as usual.  There's nothing at all wrong with that; but I think she truly has no clue what's really going on with his health.
On Friday his sister came by for a visit (she called first!!).  She and I had a nice visit, and she only spent a few minutes with DH (still in bed, and a bit "out of it").  Also my girlfriend came over, and did some yard stuff.  After sister left, we visited some.
Emotions:
Friday was an especially stressful day.  It was very late at night before I was able to talk to DSS's girlfriend to update her.  She will let DSS know (seems to come easier from her) the latest.  I told her I will need them to help me (when they come on Sunday) to rearrange the bedroom, so that only safe (and non-breakable) things are within his reach from the bed.  We're also going to move TVs around so one in his room will have a better line of sight from the bed. I'll have to give up my slightly bigger one since the TV will be farther away from him; but with my limited vision, I mostly listen rather than watch, so putting his smaller one in my room won't matter.
I had a problem with internet Friday morning (actually started Thursday evening).  After an hour and a half on the phone with HughesNet, I was left extremely upset and frustrated, and still no internet.  I was finally told I'd have to wait until Monday morning for a tech to come realign the dish.  About an hour later, all the lights came back on.  Am I suspicious???  You betcha!!!!
I'm glad when I have company (not necessarily the neighbors, but always family), because it does seem to distract me from being weepy so much.  But I'm also frustrated with myself at not getting things done around the house.  I have to try harder to waste less time!