Day 92

(Friday and) Saturday August 24, 2013
Physical:
There are only minor changes I have noticed, unless I go back a few weeks.  I just don't notice as much on a day by day basis.
His mind is going faster than anything else.  It's most noticable at night of course ("Sundowners"), or any time he's just waking up.  There's also the fact that he no longer seems to be able to *know* that he can't get up and walk around.  So far he has not managed to fall and get hurt, but the possibility is always there.
His appetite is variable.  Some days he will barely eat anything, others he does pretty good.  It doesn't seem to be related to what he's eating (sometimes even things I know he likes doesn't matter if he doesn't feel like eating).  That effects his whole system, to the point of the nurses starting to get very concerned.  After yesterday they will be happier I think, and "extreme measures" averted for now.
I've also noticed he sleeps more.  Even just a few weeks ago we discussed (with nurse) the possibility of something to help him sleep.  He was napping so much that he would lay awake at night (which is certainly not good if you're confused!).  But I've begun to notice he seems to sleep through the night more often, and well into the day if allowed.  And even then, if he's up longer than he wants to be, he'll doze off (even in the car, which is something he NEVER used to do!)
People:
My brother and sister-in-law came Friday for the afternoon, and brought pizza.  That was a lovely visit, and I believe DH enjoyed it too (even though he did nod off at one point - possibly related to being more relaxed since we let him sit on the couch awhile).
The neighbors came over that evening, but didn't stay long.  I have a feeling she realizes I don't really enjoy her visits ... she doesn't have much to say.  She is hoping to come at a time when DH is up.  I'm not comfortable with her obsession with him (I know, she's looking at him as a father figure, and wants to pray for him; but she seems to be convinced she can command God to "cure" him.  And she clearly thinks she could take better care of him than I am if she could force me to let her).
No one came on Saturday, but I did talk to my brother  on the phone.  
Emotions:
I'm so up and down it's exhausting.  One day I can manage to stay busy and "coast along" without feeling much.  At times I'm extremely frustrated because I never know what direction the dementia will take, and how to handle it.  And there are days I just can't do anything but sit and cry.
It's also a bit frustrating that for all the people that "say" they want to "help", I still feel very alone.  And trash is piling up something awful again.  I suspect that maybe 90% of the time people who offer to "help" have no clue what that really means, and don't expect me to call on them anyway.  On the rare occasions I have, it turns out the only one who does anything is that DSS comes when DH is on the floor again and I can't get him up alone.  
I am adamantly against putting DH in any sort of facility.  And it terrifies me to know that if his mind (and my eyes) continue to deteriorate faster than his lungs, that decision may be taken away from me (and my home as well).