Day 79

Monday August 12, 2013

Physical:

On a day to day basis I really can't tell much difference.  Some days he is more alert, other days he seems "foggy".  Thenurse says that's from the dialysis; but if that's true, why is it only recently showing up?  Why doesn't everyone on dialysis just sink into a semi-coma state?  It's just all too confusing.

I did have a problem trying to get him moved from the wheelchair to the bedside commode.  He needed to stand UP and move to the side, which is something he seems to be totally incapable of doing (not completely sure he even understands).  Both items have arms that he has to move past, but he doesn't seem to grasp that.  We ended up with him barely on the edge of the bed.  I did finally get him turned and pushed and pulled to the point he was on the bed so that I could start over to get him to the commode.  

During the time he was resting on the bed, and while sitting, I moved some of the furniture around again.  I pushed the bed farther over (and desperately hope I haven't got it putting too much weight on the weak area of the floor).  I now have a much wider open area on the side of the room where I most often have to do anything.  There is enough space to leave the commode byside the bed, and the foot, and still get the wheelchair in and out.  Maybe with that much space I won't break any more toes tripping over the legs of the commode.  The far side of the bed is a bit tight, but I only have to get over there when I change the sheets.

People

Sunday was a nice quiet day.  On Monday theaide came as usual, also the chaplain came.  I was glad he came, he was able to help me feel better about some issues that were bothering me.  The neighbor, as usual, was in and out.  She completely ignored what I said and insisted on bringing "lunch".  She is determined to force us to eat a big meal in the middle of the day.  She doesn't understand that Jimmy isn't eating most of what she puts on his plate.  And I can't tell her much because I'm not convinced the girls translate everything I say.

Emotions:

Feeling frustrated and annoyed has for the time being replaced feeling so sad.  Plus, with so many people coming (and especially the neighbor coming so often!), it's pushed me into doing more cleaning.  Well, not "more" but certainly more often!  I resent that woman, no matter how well meaning she is, coming into MY home and changing the air filter!!! or announcing she'll come tomorrow (asked if I'll be home, but not if I had plans) to "help" me clean my kitchen!!!  I'm really working on acceptance and patience.  I'm not there yet.