This is for Tuesday, July 23, 201
Physical:
There were no problems during the night. Since the nurse got here right at 10:00 (time I usually get him up), she did her eval while he was still in bed. His sat levels were 93% with the oxygen, so down. After she left, when trying to get him into his wheelchair, he had another fall. This time he, the wheelchair, the walker that was too close by, and me all went down. I finally had to call DSS to come help get him up.
He sat in the wheelchair in the living room long enough for me to get his bed changed, and to eat some lunch (spaghetti). He napped for a few hours, and then decided he wanted to get up for awhile. We got him to his recliner, and he stayed there until 9:00. It took over half an hour to get him out of the recliner and back into the wheelchair - and issue I knew was going to be a problem, but he just can't sit comfortably anywhere else. He then had to use the commode. It was after 10:00 before I finally got him into bed and the dialysis hooked up.
People:
The hospice nurse got here at 10:00. She checkd over DH, did vitals. Then she and I sat in the living room to talk. She commented that he is noticably declining - in addition to the lowering of sats, he wheezes and "whistles" almost all the time. She answered a lot of my questions, and made notes to check on things she couldn't answer right away.
After she left, while DSS was here, the landlord finally sent someone to repair the roof where it leaks. We won't know until another hard rain how well they did. And then the phone company sent men to bury the new phone cable a previous repair man had run. No one will go under the house, so he had draped it across the bushes in front. These guys dug a trench all along the driveway, across the front yard, and then down the other side. In the process the moved sprinklers which they didn't bother to replace; and the broke the kitchen/laundry drain, and I had to stop the washer until they fixed it. They never even told me when they were done.
Still later, the social worker came by. I had planned to go to the grocery store when TGF got here, so that plan went on hold for 2 more days. The SW is a very nice young girl, and was able to give me more helpful information. I had more questions that she is going to research. She had some suggestions that will be enormously helpful - for example, when the nurse comes once a week she can set up the week's pills!! I will no longer have to stress over that, worrying that I've done something wrong because of not seeing what I'm doing well enough.
Emotions
I got a little weepy talking to the nurse, and much more so talking to the SW. I honestly don't know if I'm refusing to accept the reality of the situation, or if he isn't as bad as the impressions. He's extremely weak; and his dementia is worse (the nurse said he has "sundowners syndrom"). His breathing is worse, as is the cough. The nurse said it's likely the lung issues and/or kidney failure (despite the dialysis) will be what fails him. And there's always the possibility that he'll have another heart attack. He's had 2 that no one - including him - even knew he had at the time; and obviously, he survived them. I'm reasonably sure he's had another stroke fairly recently; the nurse agrees it's a strong possibility. But knowing (or suspecting) that doesn't change his condition anyway.
Sometimes I worry, sometimes I get annoyed. I cry a lot, and I don't know if it's depression or just plain exhaustion.
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