Day 59

This is for yesterday.  I do that a lot (early morning seems to be "my" time); but I get myself confused too.

It was an odd day, but did not end particularly well.  It started out somewhat OK.  DSS brought DGS over early so he could finish mowing grass.  While DSS was here (DH was still in bed) I made a quick trip to the grocery store.  As soon as I got back (and DGS helped me bring in the groceries and put them away), I got DH's morning ritual done.  DGS helped grandpa get dressed, and got him into the wheelchair (strong little fellow!).  
We didn't even try to get him out of the wheelchair.  He sat there, watched some TV, and I fixed him some lunch.  
When the aide arrived, she said giving him a bath is a problem because he can't stand up for her to get him washed all over.  Well, I said that from the very first day!  So, I got him back and laid down on the bed and she washed him there.  If that's to be the routine, I'm going to have to have a plastic cover for the bed.  And that expensive shower transfer bench is so quickly obsolete.  I won't get rid of it, or the no longer used walkers.  I'm getting older as are my siblings - who knows who might need any of that equipment.

The aide did get him back into the wheelchair, though she admitted it was difficult.  But after she left, after waiting a short time for the nurse (who said she'd come out because I had things to discuss with her), he decided he needed his nap.  I got him back on the bed ... the only difficult part is trying to get him to sit far enough up along the edge of the bed to have room for his legs and feet when he lies down.  He just can't seem to grasp that concept.  And for some reason that I truly cannot understnad, he lies "crooked".  He got his head against the railing, and kept letting his feet dangle off the bed.  I kept telling him that was bad for his circulation, but I had to scoot him back several times.  I told him if he couldn't keep his feet up where they belong I'd put that side rail up; but then I tried raising the foot of the bed a small amount, and that seemed to work for him.

He only got off the bed long enough to use the commode, and wanted right back on it.  By a little before 8:00 he was undressed and under the covers; and while I set up the dialysis, he was snoring.  Oh, I had taken him some fried chicken; but he only ate a few bites.  He insisted that he wasn't "sick" but just didn't feel good.  He says that frequently, and I'm not at all sure what it means.  

The nurse never showed up or even called.  I realize they most likely have other patients that are "critical".  And they could well have had a crisis.  And I know that while they agree he needs hospice services,  he's not in any "immediate danger".  Even so, she could have spared one minute to call.  I have a list of questions, and right now I'm feeling about as deserted as I've been feeling for months now.  

It's a weekend, so unless there's an emergency I guess no one is available.  DSS is out of town to take DGS back to his mother.  And, I let him use my car (safer than having some of the kids ride in the back of the pickup, not to mention more legal!!!), so unless I want to try to drive his truck, I'm stranded.  I have no plans to go anywhere, that's not the point.  I just - as usual - feel so totally alone.

So, I wonder what today will bring.