Monday, July 15, 2013

Day 55

This was another not very good day. This morning, while in the process of getting up and dressed, DH had another fall.  He was trying to reach for something, over balanced, and fell.  I heard the fall and went to check on him.  He was on the floor up against the cabinets in the corner.  It took around 2 hours for him to get up.  I tried to help him get turned so that he was on his knees - the only way he's able to get up.  I tried to call DSS, but his phone - and DGS's - are both out of minutes.
I admit, I got so angry and frustrated.  Not really angry *at* him.  Fate maybe?  He just can't get it through his head that there are things he can't do.  Like balance.   He did finally manage to get up from the kneeling position and onto the bed.  After that he got his jeans on (well, mostly on).  And then lay right there and went back to sleep.  
I woke him up at 2:00 when the aide got here.  I told her about the morning, and she said I should have called it in.  Well, I didn't know that; and frankly, I'm not used to anyone really caring (other than family I mean).  She called, and the nurse will be coming tomorrow.
The aide (used the wheelchair) got him into the bathroom and got him washed up really good, even his hair.  Though I usually take him back to the bed for a nap after a bath, she didn't do that.  She brought him to his chair.  We sat there and talked a good while (and also, I fixed him some lunch).
Very soon after she left, TFG got here.  About the same time DH decided he just had to go back and lay down again.  TGF and I talked awhile, then I took a trunk full of trash to the dump while she stayed here with him.  
When I got back, she left.  Around 7:00 I got DH up again.  He had an extremely hard time walking back to the living room.  I was practically holding him up; and if I hadn't been holding on, he would most definately have fallen.  
He still didn't want much to eat.  One pot pie at lunch, and just one for supper.  
At 9:00 he was sitting in his chair nodding.  I went to help him get up, and he was acting a little muddled.  He was trying to get up holding on to a bottle of water and the TV remote. I helped him to stand - just barely - enough to move a few steps sideways.  ThenI pushed the wheelchair behind him so he could sit down.  I've been trying to avoid having to push him around, but it's fast coming to the point where I have no choice.  And yet, he still thinks he can just stand up and reach for things.

At times I think he's just being lazy and stubborn and I get frustrated.  But then, sometimes I think he's fading, and wonder if I'm just fooling myself?

I'm curious what the nurse will say tomorrow.  The thing is, no one but me for the most part sees some of the things that worry me so.  All the doctors and nurses just see him sitting in a chair or wheelchair.  No one ever sees him try to walk around at all.  So I'm having a hard time expressing my fears/frustrations about what's going on with him.
Yesterday DGS got him up from a nap, and he walked into the living room fairly well.  But today, he could barely manage at all.  Did something change?  Was he just that tired?  Did his fall cause more problems?  Or did something other than balance (lack of) cause the fall? 

I'm very weepy tonight.  




































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