One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2
Day 37
Tuesnday, September 30, 2014
Monday was gray and drippy all day, but not cold at
all. It was an odd combination of lazy
and busy. All morning I did nothing much
at all. My stomach seemed a little
unsettled for no particular reason. I
didn’t even wake up until 8:00, and made no effort to do anything beyond
dishes.
DN left by early afternoon to go to an appointment. I pushed
myself to go on and get up and at least get showered and dressed. About 3:00 I
started walking towards the shopping center.
DN called me on the way to let me know she was leaving where she
was. I got to the grocery store … was
lucky enough to reclaim the lost sunglasses (which I certainly did not need at
the time!), and waited for DN.
We started out only needing a very few items. But more and more kept getting added to the
basket. Funny how that works. So by the time we left the tote I had to
carry home had gotten very heavy (DN had some things too, but also had library
books). It was sprinkling fairly steady
by then, but we walked on. It was warm
enough not to care if I got wet .. but I didn’t really. We went to the drug store, and I picked up my
eye drops. I got a few other small
items, and a new remote.
I walked on home while DN went to the bank and library. It was sprinkling pretty steady by then; but
I didn’t get more than a touch damp so it was OK. I sure was glad to get here though, as that
bag had gotten really heavy!
DN got home not too long after I did and finished putting up
groceries (I had the cold stuff and put it up).
By mutual agreement we had an early supper, baked potatoes
and salad.
DN tried to program the new remote. I’m beginning to think the problem really is
my TV .. although the only problem I had with it before the move was the Dish
remote kept “eating” batteries. She was
able to get it to turn the TV off and on … but nothing else. I still can’t change channels, which is the
biggest frustration to begin with. I
asked if it needed to work like the other one I had .. some button to be pushed
before the number; but she said it didn’t because it was exactly like the one
in her room. So eventually she’ll ask BF
to come by and look at it.
Meantime … I’m out the cost of yet another remote and still
have to struggle with those stupid tiny little buttons on the back of the
TV. This is Mega frustrating.
I tried really hard to stay awake to see the 10:00 show that
I like. I ended up dozing off and on
through 9:00 and 10:00 shows. SO
annoying. And worse .. I thought if I
waited until the show was over to do my eye drops it would help me not be so
sleepy (because the night time drops make my eyes feel tired), so I brought the
drops in where I wouldn’t have to get back up to get them. And forgot them. Makes me want to just scream. L I was able to keep up with pills for DH at
about 6 times a day … but I can’t keep up with my own stupid eye drops. I guess part of the trouble is that the drops
don’t make the slightest bit of difference to my vision. So it’s hard to convince myself that they’re
that important. Perhaps I need my nursy
niece to do some research on the effects of eye pressure.
Yesterday I slept too late.Today I was awake by 5:30, but
waited until after 6:00 to give up and turn on the computer. I don’t know why I bother. DN had trouble sleeping, so 3:30ish in the
morning she was turning on lights and her TV.
She did, finally, close her door; and I did get back to sleep. It’s very hard to be “quiet at night (or any
time) because the floors squeak something awful. But I keep trying .. I suppose one of us has
to be an “adult” .. though at times I’m getting really tired of being “it”.
The original agreement was that I would pay more of the
electric and do more (NOT *allI) of the cleaning, based on the concept that she
would be at work and I would be spending more time here. Only it’s now been over a month and she’s
still not got a job; but I’ve done
almost all of any cleaning that’s gotten done (and I don’t care what anyone
says, I don’t feel like I should be required to *tell* another adult when she
needs to do her “chores”); and I’ve paid way more than “my share” of the ca ble
bundle And yet … I’m “not allowed” to
use the remote in the living room, so basically she has that TV (with Amazon
and Netflix) all to herself while I am stuck in my room if I don’t care for what she watches .. and I
have no working remote for my room.
I’m not really in a pissy mood this morning. But I am annoyed. Things are not working out the way I was led
to believe. No matter what, I feel like
I’m living with a child. And an often
selfish and inconsiderate one at that.
I raised my son. I
did the best I could with a step son who totally hated me during the tenn years
he was at home (and for many years after as well). At one time or another both of those sons
moved back home with wife and 2 kids, and we shared our home with them for
several years each. Then I spent a lot
of years taking cre of my husband.
Now I’m alone. I’ve
lost my husband, my home, a huge portion of the *things* I loved, and my vision
is going. The “independence” I was hoping for with the move isn’t really
happening. I realize DN means well, but
she’s interpreting “helping” as “controlling”.
OK, she isn’t going to change. Either I resign myself to a lot more cleaning
than I was supposed to have to do, or I give up and live in a messy home. I let her organize “outings” to suit herself,
and pray she gets a job soon. And, I
WILL find things to do with adults I have something in common with. I will be going to NB this weekend to get to
see grands perform (band). I don’t know yet when I’m going; so depending
on how that works out, I’ll go to a seniors group that meets for lunch at the
church every week. That’s a good
starting point. I will call the lady
about the VIP sewing group and other social activities. Also I have a class reunion coming up in less
than 2 weeks. I’ve mailed my check
(should arrive today actually), and have found a ride for the dinner. I’m sure I’ll find a way to get to the other
activities I want to participate in.
Since I’m living in town again (and not far far away), I hope I’ll be
able to reconnect with some of the people I grew up with. I was never “close” friends with any of them;
but there are many I’ve known since 1st or 2nd grade, and
maybe at this time of life we can forge new friendships.
The sky is getting light.
DN wants to go to Chik-Fil-A for breakfast .. she has a coupon that
expires today, and I still have a coupon for a free iced coffee. But it’s still at least an hour before she
even gets up. So I guess I’ll just go on
and get dressed; and maybe get laundry sorted to do later today.
This afternoon’s exciting plans include cleaning out and
reorganizing the linen closet.
Goody.
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