Day 31

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 31

Monday, September 22, 2014

It has been one month today since I moved to this apartment and started this *new* life.  Some of the issues I’ve faced have been resolved; others have not.  There are things I just have to learn to live with.  I can’t really say much .. it’s all about compromise.  I can’t help but feel like I think I’ve been “giving in” more often than I should, just to keep the peace.  I will be OK because I have no choice.  But what happens when the next 11 months are over is anyone’s guess.

Yesterday morning I got up early and got showered and ready for church.  It amazed me that DN couldget up after 7:00 and be ready to go on time.  I wish I could do that, but I just can’t.  BIL picked us up; because he had usher duty, we were early.  So, we sat in the lobby for a long time.  DN had grown up going there,  so she knew quite a few people.  Most she just spoke to as they passed by.  A few stopped to talk to her a moment, and she introduced me.  Of course I won’t be able to remember any of them!

I wa surprised to find out that the early service included a choice between traditional and contemporary.  We ended up going to the contemporary service.  I did enjoy it, although I have to admit the  preacher’s delivery method was a little unnerving (lots of long pauses at odd intervals).  After the service my other DN spoke in the lobby … the only person who really spoke at all. 

DN changesd her mind over and over about what meals we’d have when.  I don’t know what’s up with that.  But she asked me to make us an omelet.  I guess that was brunch, a little early to be lunch.  It took awhile .. I’ve not had a chance to *learn* that stove (and it seems to me to heat very slowly, and I don’t think it really has a “high” heat; at least not on the burner I was using).  However, I did manage to produce a tasty omelet for us.  She did the dishes (wasn’t much since I tend to clean as I go).  Then later she wanted me to make chicken salad for supper.  I just told her I wanted the day off!  I got out my Kindle, and listened to a book I’ve been holding on to for over a month.  And, I “read” (listened) to the entire book!!  Which, of course, is why I had put off reading it.  Once I start, it’s very hard to put it down; and I had no real reason to do so.  DN finally went on and cooked the pork chops .. she decided against a “recipe” and baked them, but it was fine.  I also took time to watch a new show … unsure if I’ll want to watch it again or not.

And here we come to one of the issues I have a problem with.  I haven’t said anything .. because honestly, I don’t know what reaction I’ll get; but I’m sure it will all be my fault anyway.  Last night .. as on many nights … DN was watching the living room TV.  The new show came on we had both said we wanted to watch; but it was late due to football earlier.  So she came and told me it was on but she was going to her room to watch something else.  So, I went to the living room to see the show.  Only, I needed the sound up a little.  Now here’s an issue:  I’ve been told I’m “not allowed” to touch the remote because “it’s complicated” (in theory she will show me at some point how it works .. but she’s managed to avoid doing that).  I know how to turn it off only.  So basically, she’s hoarding the living room TV for her own personal viewing, and I only get to watch if she’s got it on something I want to see.  This will NOT last much longer … I will NOT be forced to just stay in my own room while she has the entire apartment at her disposal (but I get to clean it all).

Anyway, that isn’t the point.  At some time .. I have no idea when … she closed her door and went to bed.  Now she is not expected or required to say “good night” of course.  But … why is it just automatically MY job to turn off the TV, turn off lights that aren’t on timers, check tht the doors are locked (the chain wasn’t on the back door last night), in general shut things down for the night.  I sort of feel like it’s just as much her responsibility as mine .. especially when I’m in my room and she’s in the living room.

And yes, that’s a minor petty point.

And as long as I’m in “whine mode” .. there’s another issue I have no idea how to handle.  We went to the church supper, and I enjoyed it (except that ridiculous race to catch the bus).  I liked that we had a good meal that neither of us had to cook or clean up after.  But I also enjoyed the social aspect.  She knows a lot of people .. we sat at an empty talbe, and it filled.  I’d like to keep going.  But, since she has no job she has no money (except for things she really wants of course).  So the only way I can go is if I pay her way.  I mean, I probably could manage to catch the bus and get there by myself (might be tricky find the right stop, but I could ask the driver).  But I just can’t see me trotting myself off alone, at night, and leaving her home.  But I cannot afford to take her every week … that would put a nearly $50 dent in MY income, and it’s already stretched fairly thin.  We’ll go this week; but after that, if she doesn’t get a job, I guess we won’t go.  I will keep going Sunday morning though .. any time her dad (BIL) can’t give me a ride, I think I can manage the bus in daylight.  She may or may not go, I have no idea.  But at some point I have to be able to do things on my own.

I hope it’s not too long until I hear from the Blind Services people.  Of all the things the social worker told me, what I’m most enthusiastic about it their VIP social group. 

Today is my eye appointment with a new doctor.  It will be interesting to learn how she handles my various issues.  The previous doctor just kept putting me on the steroid drops; but I have no idea what was causing the continued inflammation.  He was going to send me to a specialist about the inflammation; but it turned out that doctor had such limited time slots I couldn’t reasonably get there.  So now I’m starting over in a manner of speaking.  It’s the same practice but a different location and doctor .. she’ll have access to all records.

DSis is picking me up early enough to help me take the rest of the “excess” stuff to storage.  Then we’ll try to find curtain rods long enough for my room and the living room windows.  DN said she wasn’t going, though she could change her mind at the last minute I suppose.

I guess I should go on and get the day started.  I’ve already done the dishes; but I have to go on and make the chicken salad I promised.  Somehow the original plan has gotten changed into me doing a lot more of the cooking.  It’s not that I object … but I do feel like we need to renegotiate the division of chores.  I resent that I’m expected to just ell her what to do and when to do it .. and be OK with that.  And yet she has no problem at all with wallowing on the sofa or her bed watching TV all day (or on FB, or taking 2 and 3 hour naps) while I do all the cleaning.  But that’s a conversation to wait until after her doctor appointment later this week.

It’s nearly 8:30, I really need to be up and about.  Or at least get in the shower.