Day 184

Day 184
Tuesday November 26, 2013
(note: not sure if I'm keeping track of day number correctly, but it doesn't really matter that much).
Physical:
It was a very tiring day because of having to go to clinic.  DH did not show a lot of "obvious" signs of his confusion or disorientation (when asked where we're going after clinic, he said to my mom's house).  The people there just aren't seeing him as a whole person - they only see lab results.  So the doctor was mumbling about his dialysis not doing quite as well as it has been, and at the next clinic they may want to add a manual exchange.  But, it will be a different doctor then.  The nutritionist was - again - yammering at him to eat more, his protein is low  I mostly try hard to just bite my tongue and endure - they see him once a month, the hospice nurse sees him every week.  And she is seeing the whole person.
It was raining, but at least the heaviest rain wasn't until late in the day.  Still, we got wet getting him out of the car.  Thanksfully we got him in and out with not as much trouble this time.
Once we got home, he went straight to bed for the rest of the day (which I expected, getting out like that really wears him out .. a fact which the clinic never realizes).  I made him a sandwich;sandwich in the afternoon, and he ended u with a petty late supper; but all he ate was a pork chop anyway.
People:
Clinic,, of course, means a bunch of people who all feel obligated to come in and discuss the same things .. ignoring how tired he is obviously getting.  The nurse did help me with the last bit of programming for the cycler.  In the evening 2 of the boys stayed here (was fine since he was sleeping) while TGF and I tried to go finish grocery shopping.  That was a failed effort, but a story for another time and place.
Funny note:  the boys have "discovered" the "talk" button on the monitors.  At one point DH got a coughing spell; and the 11 y/o spoke into the monitor and told him "it's OK grandpa, we're here".  Poor DH had no idea what was going on!
Emotions:
Yesterday was pretty much a lost cause.  It was very late in the afternoon before I had water (but thankfully, not only is the pum repaired but they also fixed the leak I was sure that was somewhere near the laundry room).  Then the shopping excursion turned into a disaster.  Well, OK, not really "disaster"; but failed anyway.   By the time I got home, got dialysis wet up, got sorted out for the night, I was too tired to to be depressed, even though by then the wind was shrieking and the rain was thundering down hard.
It's still raining this morning, but hopefully I have so much I need to get done that I won't have time to be depressed.  Stressed, yes! LOL!  But not sad.