Day 37

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 37

Tuesnday, September 30, 2014

Monday was gray and drippy all day, but not cold at all.  It was an odd combination of lazy and busy.  All morning I did nothing much at all.  My stomach seemed a little unsettled for no particular reason.  I didn’t even wake up until 8:00, and made no effort to do anything beyond dishes. 

DN left by early afternoon to go to an appointment. I pushed myself to go on and get up and at least get showered and dressed. About 3:00 I started walking towards the shopping center.   DN called me on the way to let me know she was leaving where she was.  I got to the grocery store … was lucky enough to reclaim the lost sunglasses (which I certainly did not need at the time!), and waited for DN.

We started out only needing a very few items.  But more and more kept getting added to the basket.  Funny how that works.  So by the time we left the tote I had to carry home had gotten very heavy (DN had some things too, but also had library books).  It was sprinkling fairly steady by then, but we walked on.  It was warm enough not to care if I got wet .. but I didn’t really.  We went to the drug store, and I picked up my eye drops.  I got a few other small items, and a new remote.

I walked on home while DN went to the bank and library.  It was sprinkling pretty steady by then; but I didn’t get more than a touch damp so it was OK.  I sure was glad to get here though, as that bag had gotten really heavy!

DN got home not too long after I did and finished putting up groceries (I had the cold stuff and put it up).

By mutual agreement we had an early supper, baked potatoes and salad.

DN tried to program the new remote.  I’m beginning to think the problem really is my TV .. although the only problem I had with it before the move was the Dish remote kept “eating” batteries.  She was able to get it to turn the TV off and on … but nothing else.  I still can’t change channels, which is the biggest frustration to begin with.  I asked if it needed to work like the other one I had .. some button to be pushed before the number; but she said it didn’t because it was exactly like the one in her room.  So eventually she’ll ask BF to come by and look at it. 

Meantime … I’m out the cost of yet another remote and still have to struggle with those stupid tiny little buttons on the back of the TV.  This is Mega frustrating.

I tried really hard to stay awake to see the 10:00 show that I like.  I ended up dozing off and on through 9:00 and 10:00 shows.  SO annoying.  And worse .. I thought if I waited until the show was over to do my eye drops it would help me not be so sleepy (because the night time drops make my eyes feel tired), so I brought the drops in where I wouldn’t have to get back up to get them.  And forgot them.  Makes me want to just scream. L  I was able to keep up with pills for DH at about 6 times a day … but I can’t keep up with my own stupid eye drops.  I guess part of the trouble is that the drops don’t make the slightest bit of difference to my vision.  So it’s hard to convince myself that they’re that important.  Perhaps I need my nursy niece to do some research on the effects of eye pressure.

Yesterday I slept too late.Today I was awake by 5:30, but waited until after 6:00 to give up and turn on the computer.  I don’t know why I bother.  DN had trouble sleeping, so 3:30ish in the morning she was turning on lights and her TV.  She did, finally, close her door; and I did get back to sleep.  It’s very hard to be “quiet at night (or any time) because the floors squeak something awful.  But I keep trying .. I suppose one of us has to be an “adult” .. though at times I’m getting really tired of being “it”. 

The original agreement was that I would pay more of the electric and do more (NOT *allI) of the cleaning, based on the concept that she would be at work and I would be spending more time here.  Only it’s now been over a month and she’s still not got a job;  but I’ve done almost all of any cleaning that’s gotten done (and I don’t care what anyone says, I don’t feel like I should be required to *tell* another adult when she needs to do her “chores”); and I’ve paid way more than “my share” of the ca ble bundle   And yet … I’m “not allowed” to use the remote in the living room, so basically she has that TV (with Amazon and Netflix) all to herself while I am stuck in my room  if I don’t care for what she watches .. and I have no working remote for my room.

I’m not really in a pissy mood this morning.  But I am annoyed.  Things are not working out the way I was led to believe.  No matter what, I feel like I’m living with a child.  And an often selfish and inconsiderate one at that. 

I raised my son.  I did the best I could with a step son who totally hated me during the tenn years he was at home (and for many years after as well).  At one time or another both of those sons moved back home with wife and 2 kids, and we shared our home with them for several years each.  Then I spent a lot of years taking cre of my husband.

Now I’m alone.  I’ve lost my husband, my home, a huge portion of the *things* I loved, and my vision is going. The “independence” I was hoping for with the move isn’t really happening.  I realize DN means well, but she’s interpreting “helping” as “controlling”.

OK, she isn’t going to change.  Either I resign myself to a lot more cleaning than I was supposed to have to do, or I give up and live in a messy home.  I let her organize “outings” to suit herself, and pray she gets a job soon.  And, I WILL find things to do with adults I have something in common with.  I will be going to NB this weekend to get to see grands  perform (band).  I don’t know yet when I’m going; so depending on how that works out, I’ll go to a seniors group that meets for lunch at the church every week.  That’s a good starting point.  I will call the lady about the VIP sewing group and other social activities.  Also I have a class reunion coming up in less than 2 weeks.  I’ve mailed my check (should arrive today actually), and have found a ride for the dinner.  I’m sure I’ll find a way to get to the other activities I want to participate in.  Since I’m living in town again (and not far far away), I hope I’ll be able to reconnect with some of the people I grew up with.  I was never “close” friends with any of them; but there are many I’ve known since 1^st or 2^nd grade, and maybe at this time of life we can forge new friendships.

The sky is getting light.  DN wants to go to Chik-Fil-A for breakfast .. she has a coupon that expires today, and I still have a coupon for a free iced coffee.  But it’s still at least an hour before she even gets up.  So I guess I’ll just go on and get dressed; and maybe get laundry sorted to do later today. 

This afternoon’s exciting plans include cleaning out and reorganizing the linen closet.

Goody.

Day 36

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 36

Monday, September 29, 2014

Sunday was a bit of a boring afternoon.  I got up and ready in time to get to church, and I’ve decided I enjoy the “traditional” service much more than the contemporary.  I have to decide if I want to go to the early service or later (“normal” for me) one next weekend.  BIL will be out of town (no ride) and DN will be at BF’s house (no company).  I hope I don’t get too lazy to go alone; but anyway, I have a week to decide.

When I got home I did a few more chores around to clean .. but in the end I did not give the apartment as thorough a cleaning as I did last weekend.   

I found the rest of my candles so added that “final touch” (the empty candle holders were a bit silly, though no one really noticed.  DS or BF are the only ones who have been here anyway; and DN doesn’t notice anything unless I point it out). 

I also got my printer hooked up.  I was afraid the move had damaged it, but it’s working just fine.  The only issue I have is space … working out a good way to be able to use the bigger monitor and keyboard, but have the laptop and the printer withint cable reach.  My DB is working on ideas for me, so I will make do as I am (not *that* bad) for a few more months.

DN called by late morning.  She had a question about groceries .. and gave me the impression they’d be here by early afternoon.  I had planned to walk to the drug store (one of the eye drops ran out .. the one that does not last a month even when I don’t use it as often as I should).  But I thought I’d better wait.  BF was to take me to storage.

They did not get here until late afternoon.  With no TV, nothing to read, it was a pretty boring afternoon!  Anyway, as soon as they got here I took the last of the boxes and things down to BF’s truck and he gave me a ride to storage.  I was not able to find the last box of Halloween things … I *think* it’s marked, but so far I haven’t found the stack it’s buried in.  I took the antique mirror back .. was afraid it was too heavy to hang safely (although I had it hung in my house for years … maybe I just didn’t really want it up for now); I replaced it with a lighter one.  It doesn’t even really matter since I can’t see enough to “use” a mirror.  But, it helps bounce light.  I also found a pair of lamps I had been looking for.

When we got back, BF fixed the problem with the TV.  Sometime today I need to go get the eye drops, so I guess I’ll just go on and buy another remote.  DN has an appointment at the big shopping center; she will call when she’s on the way home.  If it’s not rainy I will meet her at the grocery store, and we can stop by the drug store on the way back.  If the afternoon starts to look too rainy (the forecast is only for stray showers) I may go ahead and not wait.  Or if it gets a lot rainy, it’ll just have to wait one more day.

After BF left, I got the lamps set up where I had intended them to be.  I like them there; but I wish I could put a little bit lower wattage bulb in.  I might look for some of those whenever I get to the drug store (or if I go to the grocery store).

DN cooked ranch-burgers and fries for supper.  The burgers were extremely juicy, and very good.

As usual, I fell asleep before the end of my shows.  I *almost* got to see all of CSI; but missed the ending!  That is so annoying. (

During the afternoon when I was so bored, I tried looking things up on the computer.  It’s hard because I have to enlarge things so very much.  Some sites just don’t enlarge at all; others tend to overlap printing which makes it impossible to read.  Occasionally I find one that I can copy and paste to read the part I’m looking for.  One of the things I looked up is that the church (DN’s family church) has a “Grand Age” group.  I was able to enlarge enough of the narrative to get an idea of it, and a contact number.   I think joining a senior’s group would be a very good thing .. they meet in the daytime, and I can get there by bus.  I will call today to get more information; I’d really like to at least check it out.

I think the VIP sewing group meets on Mondays.  I have the contact number; but since the social worker specifically told me the lady would get in touch with me, I’ve held off calling her.  But if I don’t hear from her by later in the week, I will call.  I’m determined to get involved in enough that between groups, church, and taking care of what must be done at home (cleaning, laundry, etc) I don’t have time to be bored. 

I will wait for a day with much less chance of rain before going to the library to get the audible book download there.  Plus I should be hearing before too much longer about the program from the library with the blind services.  They’re supposed to be sending some sort of listening device .. I don’t know if it will be a small DVD player or what.  Wait and see.

It’s a gray morning again, but not raining (yet).  It didn’t get as cool this time, even though I know cool, cooler, cold is on the way!  I didn’t sleep well .. no idea why.  I kept waking up, but going back to sleep.  I had odd dreams; and didn’t wake until the alarm clock went off … supposed to be for eye drops.  At 8:00!!  I don’t even know when I’ve slept that late.  And I have to keep reminding myself .. I have no time frame today.  The call I want to make will be later in the day.  A walk to the drug store won’t be until afternoon at the earliest. I don’t think I would have slept much longer even without the alarm … it’s grass mowing day again.  It seems like they mow about twice a week!  Well, one day is the tractor and another is weed eating.  I don’t really mind, as it’s plenty late enough to be up; and I do like the smell of fresh cut grass!  It mingles with the fall smells I love (although, all the grass cutting does diminish the falling leaves that I also enjoy).

DN is still sleeping.  She always sleeps late if she doesn’t have somewhere to be .. but I don’t think she slept well either.  I know I heard her during the night (but she didn’t wake me up).

Another thing I did yesterday was send a message to the email group I belong to for my high school class.  We have a reunion coming up in about 2 weeks.  I need to get rides to the events I want to get to.  This morning there was a post from a girl offering a ride to the dinner.  Yay.  I can probably find a way to get to everything else.  She’s a girl I have also known from about 2^nd grad (though, again, never close.  I was so horribly shy, I had no close friends at all until about 7^th grade .. and from there to graduation only one close friend.  And both of those girls have died of cancer.  So I will have no “besties” to be reunited with at the reunion).

Regardless of whether I have something do do or not, I guess I ought to get dressed and ready to face this gray day.  

Day 35

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 35

Sunday, September 28, 2014

I had a quiet and fairly productive day.  I tackled several rojects, and did as much as I could on them.  My closets are now neatly organized; I went through fabric and picked out potential pieces for a project; and I wanted to get out my fall colored candles .. turns out I don’t have any.  I *should* have a box full, so I’m hoping they ended up in storage. 

I walked to the grocery store and got a few things.  It was nothing I couldn’t have done without, but I just needed to be able to do it for myself.

I had a lovely long talk with my SIL.

And then I blew it all.  I accidently hit a wrong button trying to change the TV channel .. and it went back to a menu.  I can’t “fix” what I can’t see.  So I have to wait for someone to get it back where it belongs.  It would be helpful if someone could tell me how to fix it …like, which box needs to be “lit” and then what button to push … but no one seems to get that.  It’s just I’m too stupid to do it .. same as the living room remote.  DN keeps putting off teaching me how to use it.

It’s really getting greatly annoying to keep being treated like I’m stupid.  Maybe I am in some ways .. but mostly I’m not.  Not being able to see something doesn’t mean I can’t learn another way to do it, if someone would bother to teach me.

I read a book, but it turned out to be very short … less than 3 hours to listen.  So Maggie and I settled in a little early.  I was awakened a little before 5:00 by someone who seemed to think very early Sunday morning was a good time to ride a Very Loud motorcycle around a residential neighborhood.   After it got quiet again, I set my timer because I was afraid I wouldn’t wake up in time to get a shower.

BIL is picking me up in a few minutes for church.  This afternoon I will finish cleaning.  At least, that’s my plan for now.  I know it shouldn’t be up to me to clean every weekend while DN is off with her BF.  But … if I’m the only one who cares if it’s clean, then it’s up to me to do it.

Off to grab coffee before time to go.

Day 34

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 34

Saturday, September 27, 2014

Yesterday was calm and productive.In the morning I got a load of laundry done, and also carried trash and recycling to the dumpsters.  Around noon I showered and dressed, and DN and I walked to the bank.  I gave her the rent money, and got some bank checks to pay off some final bills from before my move.  It’s nice to have that taken caer of finally.

From the banks we walked across to Chick-Fil-A where I used a coupon SIL had given me for a free iced coffee.  To my surprise, it was very good (never been a big fan of iced coffee .. this could change my mind!).  Then we went by a mail box (there’s only one “close” by .. kind of a pain if I have to mail anything.  Fortunately I don’t mail things often).

For the rest of the afternoon not much at all got done.DN  was in a very “conciliatory” mood all day, as usually does follow an episode of temper.   I just wish I could get her to understand the different between “helpful” and “smothering”. 

Anyway, in the early evening BF picked her up.  And while I’m fine with being here alone .. there is a tiny rude corner of my mind that wonders why it’s OK for her to leave me here alone to eat leftovers while she goes out to meet friends for pizza.  So if I don’t like it I have to find friends.

In the mail I received a packet of information from the social worker with blind services.  A letter basically confirmed all the things we discussed and that I signed up for.  So mostly there’s not much I can do but wait to hear from people.  An exception is I have contact information for a lady with a social group.  I will try to call her over the weekend.

I also understand that there’s a senior’s group at the church I started going to with DN (her family’s church).  I will ask about that, BIL is giving me a ride Sunday (DN will still be at BF’s house) There are other churches in the area that have groups, but I’d rather at least start with this one and see how it goes.

Last night I made a list of things I want to get done over the weekend.  I don’t want to fall into the habit of just sitting here by myself.  As long as the weather stays decent, I need to push myself to get outside at least some.  And clearly this place won’t get any cleaning unless I do it (DN *says* she will .. and then says her day to do her chores is Sunday.  And she’s not here on Sunday).  Anyway, even though it’s frustrating when I can’t see, I’d still rather make the effort myself than have it done by someone who doesn’t even think anything needs to be done to start with).

Last night my SIL called and we had a nice long chat.  I still managed to check several things off my list before 9:00 … at that point I stopped to watch TV until I fell asleep.

Some one woke me around 3:00.  It didn’t sound so noisy upstairs; but there was loud voices and then a car horn (like an theft guard) going off.  I was wide awake, so  got up and got a hot dog to eat.  Probably not the best choice, but it just seemed easiest.  Then I slept later this morning; but that’s OK. 

I still have over an hour before my “scheduled” time to start on something; but I believe I’ll go get the kitchen cleaned first, and maybe even go on with dusting and vacuuming before I get in the shower. 

Actually, I think first I’ll just go cook some breakfast for myself.  Then I’ll get started on something.

Day 35

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 35

Frisday, September 26, 2014

Yesterday was a mostly stay-in-room-quietly kind of day.  It was not as chilly and rainy; but it still was a bit sprinkly, and very gray.  It wa also still a bit on the cool side, but not terrible.  I really just didn’t want to do anything much.  Contrary to what anyone may think, I was not “hung over”.  I was just very sad. Many times during the day it ran through my mind that I just wanted to go home.  I want my husband back, my home as crappy as it was, all my flea bag cats, and my ratty overgrown yard.

DN was in a “conciliatory” mood, which always happens after she’s been mad about something.  I “stood up” to her, refused to go along with a plan that did not work for me.  Didn’t matter, she got mad anyway.

While she was gone to the library in the morning I got showered and dressed; and I finished dealing with the few small items left in my room.  There is still a corner of clutter, but it’s contained.  The majority is fabric, and a few other things … but I know what they are and where.

DN came back with a salad and a coke  as a peace offering.  I was not “not speaking” or anything  I just didn’t feel like doing anything but sitting here rocking.  Maggie napped with me off and on during the day, so it was just that kind of day.

In the afternoon DS picked up DN and took her to a doctor’s appointment.  While they were gone I pushed myself to get up briefly.  I did pull a large container (upright laundry basket) out of the front closet, sort through it, and put it with the things to go to storage with some overflow items.  I put laundry items in the linen closet.  It’s not a complete overhaul of the front closet, but it’s much better; what’s in there can be accessed now.  I may eventually want to pull everything out; but that is much less important than the other closets now.

When DN got home she was not, as she had predicted, in a bad mood.  She was not only in a good mood, she was extremely *helpful* (that’s not quite the right word but the best I can come up with right now).   She fixed supper (although we had left overs .. but that had been my suggestion because there were things that we needed to either finish or get rid of); she made a point of putting the TV on the channel with the programs I like (and again, my choice, I opted for my room for evening shows just because as limited as my vision is, I can come closer to telling what’s going on with my TV that sits so much closer to me.)

She even said “good night” … something she almost never does.

She brought me a bottle of wine, which I strongly suspect she had “help” with! LOL!  And hopefully I thanked appropriately. J

I’m not stupid enough to think it will always go smoothly.  But she likes the new doctor, which is a huge part of the equasion.   She got started right away on a new medicine, so maybe .. in time .. that will help too.  And she has a job interview at a store she would love.  Hopefully the new medicine plus working with a doctor she will cooperate with will keep her mood/attitude level enough to keep a job once she gets one.

I know there are some who have doubts that anything will change.  But I choose to be optimistic.  I am locked into the lease here for the next 11 months, so I have no choice but survive.  And since I don’t want to spend that time sitting in my room crying and depressed to near suicidal, I just HAVE to believe it will get better; and at the very least we can find a way to co-exist peacefully.

Today  I am going to go do a load of laundry … if I do it twice a week (not as often as I used to do it at home … I absolutely hate for dirty laundry and damp towels to pile up!) I at least only have to deal with manageable loads.  Later today I have to go to the bank.  I’d rather go alone, but I doubt I’ll get to.  While I know DN means well … and at times really is trying to be helpful … we will have to have a talk about the difference between helpful and controlling or over protective. I need to learn how to do things on my own, not have someone “guarding” me all the time.  And, ironically, it’s OK to go to BF’s house and let me stay here alone all weekend!

I don’t know what I’ll do over the weekend.  It’s supposed to be warmer again, so I will get out, even if it’s only to walk around the courtyard. I might go by the library to see if someone is there to help me download the software for audible books on my kindle.  But then, I might wait until a week day to do that. 

It’s getting “late” and I need to go on and get started at least on the laundry.   And then I will figure out what the rest of the day will hold. 

I sure do hope I hear from the Blind Society social group soon.  I really need some adult company sometimes, and it would be good to meet eople that I have something in common with!

Day 34

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 34

Thursday, September 25, 2014

It’s still only Wednesday night, but I feel like writing.  I’ve been screamed at today to stop, but I am anyway.

The day started out OK, even considering it was chilly and pouring rain almost all day.  Once again, DN got mad at me because I didn’t want to walk all the way to the shopping center in the rain.  Turned out she hadn’t gotten *all* the facts,.  OK, to clear things up: DNa is a nurse.  DN2 is muy “flatmate.  DN3 lives on the other side of the world.  So, DN1 picked us up and treated us to lunch.  Nice.

She took DN(2) to her appointment.  I finished going through the boxes on the floor. 

DN got home, took a nap.  Then all crashed.  She wanted to change the plans for tomorrow, and I had the nerve to object.  She got mad at me .. as usual.  Then I made the HUGE mistake of venting to DN1. 

Long story short, DN1 axewMWS r mw ro arop xomplININF IN WMila.  Rhwn ahw apwnr rhw ewar od rhw wcwninf ahur in hwe eoom.

I apwnr rhw ewar od rhw wcwninf qiahinf I Hs my homw NS MY HUAVns Vxk.

I nwELY POLIAHWS ODD  vorrlw od qinw .. vur nor sonw ywr.  I know, I’m not supposed to say anything, complain or vent or anything.  And if anyone dares to comment on my blog, DN2 will likely scream at me again.

I hope I have enough wine to last me the next 11 months. I just don’t want to be here.  I want my home back, mice and bugs and all.  I ant my husband back.  I want my *real* life back. 

Please, whoever bothers to read this, DO NOT call or email DN and fuss at her.  It does not help, just makes things worse. It’s all my fault you know.  I’m over emotional, over sensitive, over stupid, whatever.  I tried standing up for myself.  It just made things worse. 

I hope I have enough .. or can get enough .. wine to make it through 11 more months.  I will live in a cardboard box under a bridge before I continue to be treated like  this.  I know, it’s my own fault.  Sorry, I just don’t like to be yelled at and I *try* to be conciliatory (pretty good word for a whole bottle of wine) .. but it just doesn’t work.  I never know when I’m going to say the wrong thing.  I just cannot meekly accept orders to do this or that.  And I’m pretty sick of being told how good the “exercise=ze” is for me whenever she wants  to force me to do what she wants to do.  I’m to the point that I don’t care about stupid exercise!!

Bottle of wine is empty.  I guess it’s time to go to sleep.

Day 33

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 33

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Another busy day keeps the weepies away.  Well, not totally, but it’s better.  I didn’t rush, but I got my laundry all together, and walked on down to the room before DN was even awake.  And discovered that my key wouldn’t work!  Drat!!  So I had to come back and wait for her to get up (and yes, I *could* have woke her .. but since I want to avoid any chance of temper, it wasn’t worth it!).  As soon as she got up I got her key, then got started.  With the “false start” it took me 5 trips back and forth, but I got it all done.

After resting a bit, we walked up to the bank, and then on over to the grocery store.  DN got a month bus pass (thanks to her mom!!); then I waited at Starbucks while she got a few grocery items.  My newly discovered addiction is salted caramel mocha .. too expensive so a rare treat; but oh so good!

After resting a bit (yes, again.  I’m old!), I started supper.  It started out to be a “recipe” .. but I sort of put it together as I went.  Chicken, pasta, broccoli, cream of chicken soup, mayo, and a dollop of sour cream.  I baked it to get everything hot all the way through, then added cheese to the top until melty.  Once again, it was suddenly “OK” for me to play with knives! LOL!  It turned out OK, but next time I’ll use rotisserie chicken (this was a combo of canned and some sort of “seasoned” strips).

We watched NCIS and the new one … which I found harder to follow.  I had a fairly busy evening with emails too for some reason.  But part of it is that my class reunion (50^th!) is all taken care of .. a lady in the class got me registered and sent the address for me to send my payment.  It’s in about 3 ½ weeks now.  I will have to find a ride for some of it; but because of my new location I hope that won’t be a problem!

A new season of another show I like started .. and of course I couldn’t stay awake for it.

It was a cold night .. we had to pull the windows mostly down, and get out blankets.  But it’s fall, and the chilly weather (rainy today) won’t last. 

Today DN has a doctor appointment, and her sister is taking her.  We’ll meet at the shopping center for lunch; but I’m not going along since the doctor’s office says I’m not allowed (they’re “too busy” to have my point of view on DN’s issues .. but it’s OK since her sister is going and knows her well plus is a nurse).

I don’t know what I will do with a few hours to myself!  There are multiple projects  I should work on.  But a chilly rainy fall day seems to call for a good book!  

Day 32

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 32

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

I had a busy day, and very nice.  I took my time in the morning to get a few things done and showered and dressed. I got my chicken salad made (oddly enough, for all the *jokes* about how it isn’t safe for me to handle knives, suddenly it was fine for me to chop chicken, celery, and grapes!).   DS got here as promised around noon.  We took the biggest of the extra totes down and she took me to storage.  We went by WalMart for a few groceries, and then to BoJangles for some lunch.  She took me to my doctor appointment (after a small amount of searching since I completely forgot to get the address .. just knew the road and general area.  Fortunately she was able to look on her magic phon, so we got to the right place on time).  It is a much busier office than the one in Durham, with much longer wait time.  But I did like the doctor.  One particular issue I had she dealt with in a completely different way than the previous doctor had done.

After taking me back, and talking for a bit, she went on home.

Since my salad was done (which turned out quite yummy), supper was quick and easy.   A new season of a favorite show started, and a new show started.  I had to choose, so missed another favorite (just have to break down and pay extra for a DVR.  The monthly fee isn’t a problem.  The exorbitant fee they charge to come connect it is!). 

Last night .. or rather, I guess, early morning .. was the first time it was on the uncomfortable side of cool.  I’m still not ready to have to close the window; but a light quilt felt good.  I woke around 6:00 (because I forgot to get DN to reset my alarm from Sunday morning when I needed to get up earlier).  So I got the quilt and went right back to sleep for another hour and a half. 

I started on dishes this morning.  There’s a bit there, because in addition to supper (not many from that) DN made cookies.  I had to refill my soap dispenser, and as usual got soap all over the outside too.  By the time I got it rinsed off the sink was backed up with bubbles.  Oops.  So I still have to go finish that. 

Later (after DN gets up) I have to do laundry; and then we’ll walk over to the bank, and possibly do some other errands.  I may want to go by the library and see about getting someone to walk me through getting the download for the audible books on Kindle.  I think DN has other stuff in mind to drag me to as well.   We’ll have to see how well I can hold out ..I must get laundry done.  I’d prefer to do it more than just once a week … since I finally have a key, maybe I can manage.   There just have to quit being so many *plans*.  I’m very close, I think, to having everything done that I’ve needed to handle invvoving the major changes in my life, particularly moving.  I have ID, my bills from the “old life” are almost paid (will be this week), and I’ve made steps toward a more social life (church and the VIP* social group). 

For now, it’s time to get the kitchen cleaned, get myself dressed and ready to go start my laundry.  Then we’ll see what the day holds.

Day 31

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 31

Monday, September 22, 2014

It has been one month today since I moved to this apartment and started this *new* life.  Some of the issues I’ve faced have been resolved; others have not.  There are things I just have to learn to live with.  I can’t really say much .. it’s all about compromise.  I can’t help but feel like I think I’ve been “giving in” more often than I should, just to keep the peace.  I will be OK because I have no choice.  But what happens when the next 11 months are over is anyone’s guess.

Yesterday morning I got up early and got showered and ready for church.  It amazed me that DN couldget up after 7:00 and be ready to go on time.  I wish I could do that, but I just can’t.  BIL picked us up; because he had usher duty, we were early.  So, we sat in the lobby for a long time.  DN had grown up going there,  so she knew quite a few people.  Most she just spoke to as they passed by.  A few stopped to talk to her a moment, and she introduced me.  Of course I won’t be able to remember any of them!

I wa surprised to find out that the early service included a choice between traditional and contemporary.  We ended up going to the contemporary service.  I did enjoy it, although I have to admit the  preacher’s delivery method was a little unnerving (lots of long pauses at odd intervals).  After the service my other DN spoke in the lobby … the only person who really spoke at all. 

DN changesd her mind over and over about what meals we’d have when.  I don’t know what’s up with that.  But she asked me to make us an omelet.  I guess that was brunch, a little early to be lunch.  It took awhile .. I’ve not had a chance to *learn* that stove (and it seems to me to heat very slowly, and I don’t think it really has a “high” heat; at least not on the burner I was using).  However, I did manage to produce a tasty omelet for us.  She did the dishes (wasn’t much since I tend to clean as I go).  Then later she wanted me to make chicken salad for supper.  I just told her I wanted the day off!  I got out my Kindle, and listened to a book I’ve been holding on to for over a month.  And, I “read” (listened) to the entire book!!  Which, of course, is why I had put off reading it.  Once I start, it’s very hard to put it down; and I had no real reason to do so.  DN finally went on and cooked the pork chops .. she decided against a “recipe” and baked them, but it was fine.  I also took time to watch a new show … unsure if I’ll want to watch it again or not.

And here we come to one of the issues I have a problem with.  I haven’t said anything .. because honestly, I don’t know what reaction I’ll get; but I’m sure it will all be my fault anyway.  Last night .. as on many nights … DN was watching the living room TV.  The new show came on we had both said we wanted to watch; but it was late due to football earlier.  So she came and told me it was on but she was going to her room to watch something else.  So, I went to the living room to see the show.  Only, I needed the sound up a little.  Now here’s an issue:  I’ve been told I’m “not allowed” to touch the remote because “it’s complicated” (in theory she will show me at some point how it works .. but she’s managed to avoid doing that).  I know how to turn it off only.  So basically, she’s hoarding the living room TV for her own personal viewing, and I only get to watch if she’s got it on something I want to see.  This will NOT last much longer … I will NOT be forced to just stay in my own room while she has the entire apartment at her disposal (but I get to clean it all).

Anyway, that isn’t the point.  At some time .. I have no idea when … she closed her door and went to bed.  Now she is not expected or required to say “good night” of course.  But … why is it just automatically MY job to turn off the TV, turn off lights that aren’t on timers, check tht the doors are locked (the chain wasn’t on the back door last night), in general shut things down for the night.  I sort of feel like it’s just as much her responsibility as mine .. especially when I’m in my room and she’s in the living room.

And yes, that’s a minor petty point.

And as long as I’m in “whine mode” .. there’s another issue I have no idea how to handle.  We went to the church supper, and I enjoyed it (except that ridiculous race to catch the bus).  I liked that we had a good meal that neither of us had to cook or clean up after.  But I also enjoyed the social aspect.  She knows a lot of people .. we sat at an empty talbe, and it filled.  I’d like to keep going.  But, since she has no job she has no money (except for things she really wants of course).  So the only way I can go is if I pay her way.  I mean, I probably could manage to catch the bus and get there by myself (might be tricky find the right stop, but I could ask the driver).  But I just can’t see me trotting myself off alone, at night, and leaving her home.  But I cannot afford to take her every week … that would put a nearly $50 dent in MY income, and it’s already stretched fairly thin.  We’ll go this week; but after that, if she doesn’t get a job, I guess we won’t go.  I will keep going Sunday morning though .. any time her dad (BIL) can’t give me a ride, I think I can manage the bus in daylight.  She may or may not go, I have no idea.  But at some point I have to be able to do things on my own.

I hope it’s not too long until I hear from the Blind Services people.  Of all the things the social worker told me, what I’m most enthusiastic about it their VIP social group. 

Today is my eye appointment with a new doctor.  It will be interesting to learn how she handles my various issues.  The previous doctor just kept putting me on the steroid drops; but I have no idea what was causing the continued inflammation.  He was going to send me to a specialist about the inflammation; but it turned out that doctor had such limited time slots I couldn’t reasonably get there.  So now I’m starting over in a manner of speaking.  It’s the same practice but a different location and doctor .. she’ll have access to all records.

DSis is picking me up early enough to help me take the rest of the “excess” stuff to storage.  Then we’ll try to find curtain rods long enough for my room and the living room windows.  DN said she wasn’t going, though she could change her mind at the last minute I suppose.

I guess I should go on and get the day started.  I’ve already done the dishes; but I have to go on and make the chicken salad I promised.  Somehow the original plan has gotten changed into me doing a lot more of the cooking.  It’s not that I object … but I do feel like we need to renegotiate the division of chores.  I resent that I’m expected to just ell her what to do and when to do it .. and be OK with that.  And yet she has no problem at all with wallowing on the sofa or her bed watching TV all day (or on FB, or taking 2 and 3 hour naps) while I do all the cleaning.  But that’s a conversation to wait until after her doctor appointment later this week.

It’s nearly 8:30, I really need to be up and about.  Or at least get in the shower.

Day 30

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 30

Sunday, September 21, 2014

With a nearly whole day to myself, I got a lot accomplished.  The “hidden” corner in my room is organized .. still has boxes; but not as many, and I know pretty much what’s there.  The pile in the middle of the floor is gone.  And even better, my (2^nd) closet now works better.  There are still things to deal with.  I have narrowed the “desky” stuff down to a small pile, but I still have to go through it.

I also got the secretary desk *done* (unpacked things for the shelves, and tucked what I decided not to use right now into drawers).  I went through the boxes of fall and Halloween stuff and put things out.  I wasn’t going to do that; but realized that I always push getting Christmas out early.  So it seemed only fair to DN to put this stuff out early since it’s what she enjoys so much.  Except the things in windows .. they still have to wait another week I think.

TGF and her friend never called, emailed, showed up or anything.  That’s no surprise; and it was only the friend saying “maybe” anyway.  Funny, though, how people who claim to care so much about me suddenly can’t be bothered to make any effort to get in touch; especially ones who owe me money.  Well, lesson learned I guess.  Never ever trust anyone.

By early afternoon I was done with cleaning and organizing and stuff, and really tired.  I spent the rest of the afternoon just rocking and watching SVU reruns.

Around 6:00ish (I think, didn’t really pay close attention) DN and BF got here.  They brought some groceries (including a rotisserie chicken, because once DN decided the one she’d gotten earlier wasn’t “as good”, apparently it is to be thrown out and not used for anything).  I do finally have a laundry room key of my own! Yay!  Also BF tried very hard to get my remote working. They pulled up programming directions on line to use .. he could get it to turn the TV off and on (but it took a long time to do that), but nothing else will work.  I have never been able to find the receipt, so I guess on payday I’ll just have to buy another one.  It won’t be one that expensive for sure, no point.  The bigger buttons don’t really help; on the next one I’ll just use some of my tiny cork dots to mark the buttons I need to use.

DN did not, after all, cook.  I suppose I could have insisted since she’d said she would.  And if I had, she would have cooked .. but she’d also have been grumpy about it and I just didn’t think it was worth it.  So, we had chicken sandwiches.  BF had gone on home .. and some other friend of hers came by and visited for awhile in the evening.  He sure seems to come over a lot; but apparently he never asks her out or anything.  He must live close by .. seems to just come and sit and talk, watch TV, for an hour or so … filling in time between classes or something.

Also BF hooked my monitor (TV) back to the computer, it had come loose.  But, when I turned everything off last night I hit the wrong button (more cork needed) to turn off the monitor.  So this morning I can’t get it to come back on .. gave up and for now am back to just the laptop.  I think I have to come up with a better arrangement for using it before I can use the big monitor and keyboard. 

I’m almost afraid to say this or that will happen today, because it seems like nothing happens the way I think it’s going to any more.  But in about half an hour (and it’s only barely beginning to be daylight) BIL is picking us up for church. DN, of course, isn’t up yet.  I got up around 6:00 to shower .. but was awake long before that.  The guys upstairs were up and clomping around by 4:00 … they left the building (also talking loudly) at 4:45; and about 10 minutes later came back.  Within 20 minutes all was quiet again .. but I was awake and no hope of going back to sleep!  So I got my coffee started and cleaned up in the kitchen before getting a shower. 

I guess I better go on and finish putting myself together so I’ll be ready when he gets here.  

Day 29

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 29

Saturday, September 20, 2014

I find it confusing and frustrating when plans keep getting changed.  I don’t get much “input”, I’m just told this or that will or won’t happen.

However, I did decide I did not want to go out at all.  There have been too many “outings” .. not that they’re all bad, and some were necessary.  But I really want to finish getting things organized!  One of the things discussed with the SW was the need for organization.  I’ve been slowly working towards that goal for years; it is even more important that I get much closer to it while I’m able.  I know my vision will continue to deteriorate .. I need to be able to cope as it fades.  So, I put in several intensive hours of work in my room.  And, as always when a project is mid way … the room is a disaster!

By early afternoon I had reached a stopping point .. just too tired and achy to continue for awhile.  I got showered and then rested until mid afternoon.  The BF came by, and gave me a ride to storage.  He and DN helped me take the accumulated boxes to his truck … they stood at the bottom of the steps and ferried them to the truck while I carried them down the stairs.  It’s a good thing his truck filled up, because I reached a point I could not make it up those steps one more time!  It was easy though getting them stowed on shelves; and I brought back more of the fall decorations (still have to hunt down the rest of the Halloween ones).

As soon as we got back I got supper started (my turn).  I fixed oven fried chicken, so once it was in the oven I could just go put my feet up!!  Supper turned out good

Right after supper DN and BF left, and I had the rest of the evening to myself.  I would really have liked to keep working on this room, and some other areas.  But I was just past my breaking point, I couldn’t do it.

DN and BF will be back sometime this evening.  I don’t have any clue what time, but she said she’ll be doing dinner tonight.  The lady who did my taxes said she’d try to come sometime today; but that will probably depend on TGF, if she has other plans or whatever.  And I don’t have a time frame other than it’s highly unlikely to be very early.  Hopefully I’ll have enough energy and time to get my room in order, get the kitchen cleaned (DN took one bag of trash down with her, and didn’t take the bag that has sat there 2 days since she’d said she would .. so I’ll need to take that before it gets stinky); and do some general straightening.  How does it get so cluttered so quickly??  Or maybe the better question is why do I care?  I just cleaned (although I’m already finding places that let me know I didn’t do a good job).  It seems every single day I’m going around picking up stuff … but I don’t know why it even bothers me if it doesn’t bother DN.  Oh well, either I pick up or learn to ignore it.

It’s time to get myself busy while I can!

Day 28

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 28

Friday, September 19, 2014

My day did not turn out quite as expected .. and of course, by now, that’s what I should expect!  It started out with doing some cleaning.  Mostly I worked on the kitchen, right down to mopping the floor.  I also worked on dusting the row of shelving.  Then I stopped and worked in my room a bit, doing more to better organize and declutter.  I also went through 4 or 5 boxes, about half of which I decided to send back to storage for now.

I stopped around noon to shower and dress.  I continued working in my room awhile until the lady from Blind Services came.  We had a very interesting and productive conversation.  She was able to give me a few tips that will be very useful; and I realized that many of the things she said I’ve already done (as I explained to her, the vision has been going over a long period so I’ve had to gradually find ways to adjust).  She also had some excellent tips for me which I will put into effect as soon as I can, but they involve more work than I have time for right now (like organizing my closet).  She told me about many different services available (some of which involve long waiting lists, like a class about dealing with technology that won’t even be open until next spring and I had to go on and get on the waiting list!).  Some one will contact me about the class and arranging transportation, but not any time soon.  Some one else will contact me .. I think in a few weeks, not sure … about other tips and aids, including a white cane.  That is a controversial issue for me … I don’t feel like my vision is far enough gone yet to justify that.  I’ve been managing with the cane I have (helps a lot with my joints hurting), and don’t feel the need for people to “recognize” me as a visually impaired person yet.

There is also a service from the library where they will send me some sort of player and I can get CD books.  I admit the Kindle has me spoiled in that it is so easily transportable.  And I can download software from the library to get audible books (just waiting for DIL to help me with the download).  However, I’m not at all rejecting the opportunity for more variety in what’s available to *read*.

After all that, the “service” I am most excited about isn’t an actual service through the agency at all.  It appears there is a very active social group among the large visually impaired population in this county.  I had no idea!  And after being virtually anti social for a very long time … I’m not at all opposed to meeting people and making new friends.  There’s even a sewing support group … that got me very excited. (and it turned out the social worker is also a fabric collector!).  Hoefully I’ll be hearing from someone about that very soon.

After she left, I rested my achy foot some, and worked more on tweaking in my room.  Later in the afternoon a friend picked up DN to go apply for a job.  While she was gone I cleaned the litter box, swept and mopped the kitchen, finished dusting the bookshelves, vacuumed the rugs and damp mopped all the floor areas that get walked on.  It may not have been as thorough a cleaning as it could have been, but I was exhausted!

DN had asked me to go on and brown the hamburger so she could do supper when she got back.  I find it odd that she asked me to do the one thing that is the most difficult; but I now she didn’t really think about that.  But she took much longer than expected (there’s that word again!).   I found out later she *might* have already had something to eat.  (when I asked she didn’t really give me a straight answer).  A little disturbing that she was OK with me not having any supper after I had done the hamburger as she asked.  It got put in the freezer.

Anyway, DS/BIL actually got here before DN got home. They got started right away on projects.  The secretary is now secure and I can put pretties back on the shelves.  The spice rack is firmly attached to the door so bottles don’t fall down into the bread tray.  Many pictures got hung (there are more, but more hangers are needed).   BIL got my computer hooked to the small tV … which will work great as soon as I figure out the best way to set it up! 

There was one point during the evening that was a downer, and it still upsets me.  I was telling my DS about the SW coming and some of what she told me.  When I mentioned about the white cane, suddenly DN made a huge issue of that.  She even said if I refused to use the stupid cane she would move out!!    I was very upset that she was so determined to *meddle* …. And DS pretty much told her to mind her own business, that was something tha was up to me.  DN wouldn’t let it go, insisted she refused to be responsible for someone who insisted on acting in a way that was dangerous (not her exact workds, but the general idea).  She’s the one who walks so fast I can’t even keep up; and I’ve ventured out on my own and can manage just fine.  She certainly has figured out I can manage to go to the laundry room or the dumpster .. and can’t use a cane at all with my hands full.

I don’t even know when I’ll hear from that lady, and I need to just let it go and not make a big deal … hard to do when I’m annoyed.  Also later I mentioned I would like to go to church on Sunday, but DN has decided she doesn’t want to go (she had originally said we could go if I wanted, and I said I did.  I don’t know why she changed her mind).  I have no way of telling time, so would just have to walk to a bus stop and wait; but if that’s what it takes maybe I will.

DN’s sister also came during the evening.  She brought her big dog, which made Maggie most unhappy!  I couldn’t help but laugh at her .. she’s not really had any experience with a dog that big; and he wanted to play with her.  She mostly hid under a chair and growled.

DNS brought flowers, wine, and desert.  Lovely!! J   We drank wine in red solo cups (I don’t know why that’s just so funny to me … I actually have wine glasses, though I haven’t  yet unpacked the only ones I have more than 2 matching). 

I forgot to say, the day started out with the cable guy coming to fix the living room TV/remote.  I really don’t think DN cared about anything else in the world but being able to just sit and watch TV.  But he was unable to fix the remote to my TV  … it works (the lights come on), but it’s not sending any signal at all to the TV.  BIL also looked at it, but he couldn’t do anything either.  As far as I can see my option is to take the remote back and get it exchanged … but …. I can’t find the receipt.  This is extremely frustrating, because I never throw away anything.  I have a bunch of receipts all stuff in a drawer (now in a basket).  DN went through all of them, but the one for the remote isn’t there.  I can’t figure out what I did with it.  I’ve looked through wallet, purses, everywhere I can think of, with no luch.  If I can’t find the receipt, I’m just out of luck.  At least I can adjust it … DS finally located the very well hidden manual buttons.  It’s awkward to reach; and means I’m back to having to scroll through all channels to try to find the one I want  I can’t get DN to understand about helping me figure out what’s on and choose.  She will only tell me 2 or 3 things that are on, so I don’t have the option of choosing from ALL those channels I’m helping pay for.  Last night I was scrolling down, trying to find something.  She “helped” … just held the button down (she could see the numbers going by) and stopped at the channel she wanted me to want to watch.   This morning I found the local channel I prefer for morning news; but it’s been difficult so far to figure out how to get from one to another … they don’t seem to be in any logical order.  I suppose after payday I’ll have to buy yet another remote.  The frustration mounts.

We weren’t able to put up curtains except in the dining room .. the windows are all too big for even a shower rod!  So my window and the living room will wait for sturdier long curtain rods … will have to be another week, but that’s OK. 

I’ve been sleeping weirdly lately.  I wake up off and on; and while I feel like I “toss and turn” a lot, I do sleep more.  I didn’t get up until 7:30 this morning .. I seem to wake with daylight, which was later because it’s overcast.  It’s now 9:00.  DN is still sleeping.  I need to find some breakfast and maybe start working in my room some more.

Tonight is my night to cook supper (and what was it I did last night??) and BF is coming.  He said he would give me a ride to storage to take some of the excess here.  The apartment sure will feel better .. and more open … when the extra boxes are gone!  So, I guess I should get busy on some of the ones in my room in case more of them need to go.

Day 27

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 27

Thurssday, September 18, 2014

We had what was for me at least a fairly exhausting day.  While we didn’t do everything as originally planned, we did get some things done.  In the morning we took a bus to the grocery store.  In some ways that was a bit silly with one so close to us .. but, there was much less walking (and that’s important if you’re carrying heavy totes!).  We did very well, stuck to our list; and the only “extra” was still healthy (no chips or candy or *sob* ice cream).  We do have to work on timing though, a we had to wait nearly an hour for the return bus.  We got off in the shopping center.  Chik-Fil-A was having a good drive, so a “free” chicken sandwich with 3 cans of food (the 3 cans cost $2.31 .. so not *really* free, but still a donation for a sandwich).  From there we walked home, put up the groceries, and ate our sandwiches.

The afternoon was spent mostly resting.  I did finally handle one more phone call .. rather frustrating though.  One doctor office that puts me on hold and eats up a big chunk of my minutes.  But a call to a second one was answered immediately, and I got the information I needed.  So that’s done.

In the evening we walked to a different bus stop (not too far) and went to DN’s church for supper.  A niece on DH’s side is the cook there (actually a professional chef).  It was a very good meal.  But even better, once we sat down to eat, other people joined us and there was nice conversation.We had talked about heading home right after because of bus timing; but we had sat with a good friend of DN’s family, and she wanted to stay for the Bible study.  I didn’t mind that, was jut concerned about having to walk in the dark. 

When we left to catch the bus home we had to walk really fast about 4 or 5 blocks and cross a busy street.  I don’t *do* fast very well, and it was up hill too.  I don’t think I’ll be willing to do that every week … even though the alternative is to have to wait about 40 minutes for a different bus.  I do want to go back; we’ll have to see what we decide.  I’m also not good at walking in the dark.  Even if it’s in a place I’m becoming familiar with, things fade away quickly with my limited vision.  But, in only a few weeks we change back to standard time and it will be getting dark even when we leave here.  I just need to find a way to cope with it.  It’s very scary; but it isn’t going to change, so I have to learn.   I am afraid that DN won’t always want to go …. And I’m pretty sure I won’t try that journey at night alone!  But, that’s a worry for another time at least.

I am again without TV … but only because I’m a total klutz. L  I keep dropping the remote … try to put it down and miss the table.  It fell again, and one of the batteries fell out.  At first I couldn’t find it, so got another one.  But I couldn’t get them in correctly.  The new battery got really hot .. scary!!  So I took it back out (and getting them out is also very difficult); and I finally found the other one on the floor.  But I couldn’t get them to work.  At one point the light (on the remote) came on, but it didn’t work.  I didn’t have enough sense to just put it down (to realize it would need to be reprogrammed)  so kept trying.  Then one of the batteries got hot again.  So I finally just put it down and unplugged the TV (I tried, but have no clue where the manual controls are!).  A lady is to come today from blind services … I don’t think this is something she can help with, but there are classes and things I can take so maybe along the line I can learn how to deal with things like stubborn remote controls.  I don’t like to ask DN, because I’m never sure how she’ll react.  She might just fix it (which works for now but doesn’t teach me how to deal with it); or she might get annoyed.  In any case, someone from the cable company is coming this morning because the remote in the living room refuses to work no matter what.  Which means .. yikes .. I better get dressed.   This will be a busy day.  Cable this morning; blind services lady in the afternoon; and DS/BIL tonight to help with a long list of things to get done here.  In between we need to do what I call “routine cleaning” … and what DN calls “mummify”! LOL!

Day 26

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 26

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

It’s ridiculous how busy I am for someone with “nothing to do”.  And it’s a little frustrating that it’s been over a week since I’ve had time and energy to get back to tackling boxes.  Obviously there’s nothing tucked away in a box that I can’t live without .. that doesn’t mean I don’t want things sorted.  Maybe some of it will go back to storage; maybe some even tossed or donated (though it seems I have a bit of a problem donating things).

Yesterday morning, once I got myself moving (which seems to be getting more of a challenge, even though I am working on getting more exercise into my life), I did laundry.  Because when it adds up too much it gets too heavy, I ended up making 4 trips; but it got done.  In between I cleaned the litterbox, did the dishes (including DN’s breakfast dishes .. clearly this “plan” needs some adjustment), took trash and recycling down.  When I was done with laundry, I got it ALL put away and worked on a little bit of general straightening.

The lady who cleans house came by around mid afternoon.  Oh, and the ReStore guy had called in the morning to see if he could go by the house for the donations.  He never called back, so I have no idea if he was able to pick up anything or not.  I did find out later in the day that TGF was sick over the weekend and did not go get the trash as she had promised.  Apparently DSS couldn’t be bothered either.  It’s embarrassing and humiliating that the landloards will reclaim their property and have to deal with trash; but nothing I can do about it now

While I was finishing the laundry, DN got a friend to give her a ride to the cable office to pick up a new remote.  But it didn’t work either.  My “take” is that TW deliberately blocks customers from having “extra” things going on.  OK, maybe not .. but it seems extreme to me that she is determined to have cable AND Amazon AND Netflix AND Wii AND a VCR AND a DVD player.  I’m satisfied with just my TV … though I admit I wouldn’t mind having my DVD player hooked up.  I’m a bit scared to try to get that done .. it would involve yet another remote to deal with!!

Later in the afternoon we walked to the drugstore for a few things.  And for exercise since going up and down the stairs 4 times earlier didn’t count.

When the BF got off work he came by to see if he could get the TV/remote working.  The only thing he could do was get her “universal” to get TV on.  So she just took that back to her room and the living room TV is temporarily “dead”. 

The original plan for the week was to go to the grocery store tomorrow to take advantage of senior discounts.  Well, cable trumps that of course.  The TW guy is coming … AGAIN .. to try to get the TV/remote/whatever working correctly.  So we go to the grocery store today.  Tonight the plan is to go to the church for supper .. if it doesn’t get too rainy to walk the 2 blocks to the bus stop we’ll need.

Tomorrow a lady is coming to talk to me about blind services and see what I need and what they can help with.  That, at least, is encouraging.  Tomorrow night DS/BIL are coming to deal with hanging up things and such.  We still don’t have any curtains, which is a disappointment to me.  But DN vetoes sheer white, which is all I have (because very early on she had said she already had all the curtains we would need and I let go of most of my extra ones).  So maybe we’ll just get curtain rods up and get curtains later on when we can find some we both like and can afford.

It’s after 8:00.  I’ve been awake since 4:00.  For a few nights I slept really good .. I don’t know why I’ve gone back to waking so early, but not liking it!  DN has only just woke up .. and only because her phone rang.  I have no idea when we’ll go shopping, so guess I better go on and be ready.

Day 25

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 25

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Yesterday was a busy and somewhat productive day.  We did take our time in the morning getting ready to go out.  DIL helped me handle a few more things .. sort some papers and such.  DN got home in the early morning; and by late morning we were all ready to go.

DIL dropped DN and I at the bank and she headed on home (and as usual, DS forgot to call and let me know DIL got home safely).  I took care of some banking, then we went to DN’s bank and completed the process of setting up a joint account (my ID arrived in the mail over the weekend).

From there we walked around the shopping center a bit.  We went into several shops, including a cupcake store (which was a mistake! LOL); and got sandwiches at a shop (that I certainly will be wanting to go back to!). 

We went by the library and I got a card.  They have a program online I can use to download books to my Kindle (YAY) .. will wait for DIL’s next visit (in 2 weeks). 

We walked back home, ate our sandwiches, and pretty much vegged the rest of the day!

For some reason in the afternoon the remote – that had been working perfectly – quit on us.   Even new batteries didn’t help.  DN had a bit of a bad evening trying to deal with that (and in the process discovering a billing change she was not warned about); but she held it together for the most part.  Before losing so much of my vision I could deal with things like that (figure out the billing etc). 

We each ended up spending the evening in our own rooms to watch TV .. which it would have mostly been anyway, at least for me.  One of my favorite shows, “Dancing With The Stars”, started it’s new season.  Even though I don’t see the dancing very clearly; but with a nice big TV and having it very close, I can see enough of color and movement to enjoy it anyway.  Except, of course, the last few dances that I dozed through.  Another favorite came on after … fortunately it was a rerun of last season’s cliff-hanger ending since I fell asleep during that also.  I sure hope I can stay awake next week to see the new one!!

DN went to sleep with her TV on.  I didn’t notice last night.  But when I woke, as usual, in the early pre-dawn hours, I could hear it.  Not loud, but there.  I dozed some, but was awake by 6:00.  That used to be normal; I like being able to sleep until 7:00 or later!  But, I have a lot to do today.  I have to catch up laundry.  The housekeeper is coming in the early afternoon, just for a visit.  I have to pay her for cleaning the house (officially no longer mine!), and get an estimate for her to come in once a month here.  If it doesn’t get rainy, DN and I may go to the drug store later.  After all the conversations, it turns out we can either wait … no idea how long … til we can get a ride to the office and get a free replacement remote; or we can just buy a new universal one.  (apparently we *could* take a bus, but it would involve a long ride and transfers).  I’m not overly impressed with the service we have here, but seems we don’t really have choices.  It’s been a month now and there are still problems.  Hopefully everything will settle soon.

It’s overcast this morning, so I can’t really tell if it’s daylight yet  The days are clearly getting shorter; it’s almost 7:00 and still very dark, even for a cloudy morning.  It’s only about 6 more weeks until we go back to “standard” time, when we really lose the afternoon light. 

I hope I’m able to get someone to help me transport “extra” stuff back to storage, and get out the rest of fall & Halloween decorations before much longer.  I still have much to unpack and sort; but the pile of “rejects” to go back to storage is growing.  I’m anxious to finish getting settled in, which includes getting pictures hung, curtains up, and no more things sitting around in boxes!

Next weekend DN says she’s going to her boyfriend’s again.  Hopefully I will make good use of the time to get more boxes emptied.  I’m hoping by the following weekend (about 2 weeks off) I can ask the boyfriend to give me a ride to the storage unit to take the extra stuff there and get out what I want.

Day 24

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 24

Monday, September 15, 2014

I would like, again, to make it clear that this blog is only my personal observations and feelings as well as being a sort of  journal.  I can’t always make everyone ahppy.  Apparently I frequently offend people, though I don’t mean to.  Sometimes people have had comments about things that weren’t even directed at them (guilty conscience??).  I backed off for a few days to “regroup”.   But, for the most part, I do now live in a small apartment with someone who *can* be quite difficult.  I’m not claiming to be perfect myself of course.  I have a lot of emotional baggage still to work my way through.  The difference is in that no one is “tiptoeing” around my feelings for fear of making me sad again; but I tend to feel I have to be super careful not to set off a bout of rage.  Since I have no one, most of the time, to talk to .. I “talk” here.  So again .. if you don’t like what I say, just don’t read.

(side note, which I find, in retrospect, kind of comical:  DN was upset that someone was made at her over something I said… without really grasping it was over something she did, only that I said something about it!)

On Friday around mid to late morning DIL and I left for our weekend.  She had a doctor appointment, and we went there firt.  Then a quick trip to WalMart, and on to DB/SIL’s house. On Saturday we went out to run a bunch of errands, and eat at Chik-Fil-A.  DB is good at just driving around, which I’ve always enjoyed (riding I mean! LOL). 

That night we went to a local play.  It was a musical comedy, quite funny, and we had a lovely time.  When we got back we surprised SIL with a birthday (cheese)cake.

On Sunday we took our time being lazy until early afternoon.  Then DIL and I headed home, but went by way of the next town over .. she found a good Groupon and treated me to a pedicure.  (way overdue!).   After a quick stop at a grocery store for salads, we came back and had a relaxing evening here, watching a movie.

Today a new week starts.  As of today I “technically” no longer rent the house I lived in for 13 years.  Since I haven’t been able to go back for the last few weeks, I’m very much afraid the place was not left in as good condition as it should have been.  I did have someone go in and clean as best she could.  Hopefully trash was taken off over the weekend as promised.  But the ReStore people never went, and I don’t know if they’ll be able to go tomorrow .. or if the house will even be unlocked for them.  It worries me, but there’s really nothing I can do.  As of now the past due rent is due, but I’m still waiting for some expected income for that.  Nothing I can do about it for now.

For today, and this week, I have to cancel the electric; verify my next doctor appointment; go to the bank; get laundry caught up; and continue unpacking and working on the apartment.

Day 21

One NEW Day At A TimDay 19 & 2

Day 21

Friday, September 12, 2014

Yesterday DN spent volunteer time at the library.

While she was gone I cleaned the apartment, except vacuuming.

I will try to finish that this morning before we leave.

I did nothing much in the afternoon but watch out the window.  I like having a window with a view (of sorts) that I can look out.

DIL got her in the late afternoon.

I made a chicken salsa crock pot dinner.

We watched “The Help” (I couldn’t really see much but movement; but I’d seen it before so could still enjoy it).

I am awake before DN and DIL this morning.

As soon as they are awake I will do the dishes and pack, then vacuum.

I am going with DIL to her appointment this afternoon and then to spend the weekend with DB/SIL.

My computer won’t send email this morning.  It’s not internet.   It probably needs *stuff* done to make it work better, but I don’t know how and can’t see well enough to do that.  It will have to limp along until someone has time to help it.

Time to get coffee and shower and get the day going.

Day 20

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 19 & 20

Wednesay, September 10, & Thursday, September 11, 2014

Yesterday I woke early to gray and cool.

I blogged, did newsletter, answered some emails.

I did a little more work in my room before showering.

We rode a bus to the mall, and roamed around some.

I bought a new remote.

We rode the bus back, and got off to stop at the market.

After supper, watching evening shows, the TV and internet went out.

It had not come back by Wednesday morning, so a repair man was requested.

The problem was fixed.

I did 3 loads of laundry.

I worked more on getting my room in order.  I now have a small tree with pretty blue lights.

Supper was reimagined leftovers.

I will shut down everything early tonight and enjoy my pretty blue lights.

Day 18

One NEW Day At A Time

Day 18

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Yesterday was a very lazy day.  It poured rain most of the day; and even when not raining, it was very gray … and chilly!!  I did find some minor spurts of ambition and tackled some areas of my room.  There are a lot more to go!!

DN started out being a little annoyed at me, but she got over it.  She wanted me to do an exercise on the wii.  I have no objection to the exercise … but I do object to being ordered around!  When or if I do anything like that, it will be when I decide I’m ready. 

Niether of us did much but watch TV and nap.  I thought about getting out my book, but never did.  I have to be in the mood to read!  Plus, I only have one book unread; and another that hasn’t been downloaded yet.  I know myself .. if I start reading, I won’t stop until I’ve gone through several books.  I like to have several books available against a time when I’m either in a mood to read, or have a lot of waiting time.  And besides all that, it was just too lazy a day to bother! LOL!

I did not sleep well again; or rather, I did sleep but had very odd dreams.  I’m reasonably sure I know the cause … for one thing, I’m worried about getting things finalized at the house.  TGF was planning to go last night, but with so much rain she might not have been able.  I don’t know, no one told me one way or the other and that worries me.  Plus, she was supposed to leave a key so the ReStore guys can pick up today.  I don’t know how to tell them where the stuff is to be picked up ..and I don’t even know if they can get in the house!  The lady is going Thursday to clean, and I seriously hope I won’t be embarrassed (and hope she won’t have to charge more than I counted on too!). 

On top of stress about that, the last 2 nights I’ve left the TV on but without sound.  It seems my choices are leave it on,  do without it, or wait until it suits DN to come get it on, and settle for whatever channel she puts it on.  Well, actually, I can scroll up and down; but the numbers don’t work, and it’s very hard to figure out where the channels are.  I need a chart  to tell me what number is what channel  … might be a project for DIL to help me with.

It is still gray and cool, and rained off and on during the night.  I think by this afternoon it’s supposed to clear up and get warmer.  DN has a job interview at a mall, so I’m going along … I get to roam the mall unsupervised!  It shouldn’t feel like I’m “getting away” with something, but it does.

It’s after 8:00 already.  It’s hard to tell when it’s so overcast out.  DN isn’t up yet.  I try to avoid waking her (if there’s no reason to .. not because she’ll be mad, only because it’s rude if there’s no reason).  I guess I will go finish washing up a few dishes left from last night.