It seems I write more in the morning than in the
evening. I have more time (since I wake
up too early); my eyes aren’t as tired; and in general, I’m in at least a
little better mood. I know I seem to be
turning the blog into a whine-fest. I
don’t mean to do that … but I seem to be writing more about my reactions to any
given situation than the actual situation.
Yesterday was not a very good day. To start with, the morning B/P was very
high. If it stayed that high several
days I’d definitely be contacting a doctor (haven’t taken it yet today of
course). But, Jimmy got on up (DGS was
here). At lunch time I made him 2
sandwiches, but he only ate one. More
food wasted, as the other will only get eaten by the dog. By 1:30 he was wanting to go lay down. Well, that’s pretty normal. I was waiting for GF to get here, so that
with GF and DGS here, I could leave for a bit.
There was a slight hitch to my plan. When I went out to start the car, the battery
was dead. I’m quite sure I must have
accidently left an inerior light on (when we came home Monday it had been
raining). I called DSS, and he came over
and jumped it. I didn’t actually expect
him to come right away; but he said he did so I could take advantage of DGS
being there. It was around 3:00 when I
finally left (all I did was go to the bank, pay storage rent, and go to grocery
store. Nothing “exciting”, but I was ALONE!). When DSS came, he went in and talked to Jimmy
before he left.
I got home around 5:00 or so.
Jimmy had the quilt partly over him, and had asked DGS to turn off the
a/c, said he was too cool. Hmmm.
Around 6:00 I sent DGS to tell grandpa to get up. Jimmy wouldn’t get up – he told GDS he’d “felt
bad” when he first laid down. Well,
first thing he’s said to anyone about that!
So I went back to see if he was going to get up or not, and he told me
too that he felt bad. Nothing specific,
no pain anywhere, but he felt bad. He
never did get up.
I finally went on and got the dialysis set up started. But in the middle of that, he decided he had
to sit on the B/C. I had to help him
stand up to get to it (he cannot seem to grasp that he cannot remain seated and
“slide” over onto something that has arms.
He continually tries to do that, in several different
circumstances. He’s very weak, but also
not willing to make any effort). I had
to wait – nearly an hour – before I could finish the set up.
For awhile there I wasn’t sure if I should call DSS to come
take him to the ER. I was so stressed ..
I just HATE being in the position of trying to figure out what’s the right
thing to do. He doesn’t seem to be able
to be specific about feeling bad … I have to try to ask if anything hurts, etc.
It really felt like I was being punished for actually leaving
the house by myself for 2 lousy hours.
The last time I got out (my once-a-year treat, TGF takes me and her mom
to a play for Mother’s Day), he also got sick.
He stayed “sick” from Saturday night until Monday morning. But this time I was only gone 2 hours instead
of 9. I’m not saying he gets sick on
purpose; but I really do believe at least some of it is (maybe not
deliberately) pouting. And I know, even
as I’m saying this, that it doesn’t make sense.
For one thing, other than all the *stuff* I have to do, he’d WAY rather
have DSS’s and/or DGS’s company!
Today is his weekly appointment with the dialysis nurse. I had to use drainage bags last night so we
take in fluids (they test regularly to be sure there’s no infection as well as
to see how well he is dializing). He was
also supposed to pee in a jug, but didn’t.
Anyway, since he was already up on the B/C earlier, he won’t be telling
me he feels too bad to get up. If need
be, DGS and I will get him up and dressed; he WILL be going in today!
OK, getting back to this later. The car is crammed full of trash, and we will
go by the dump first. With help from
DGS, Jimmy is not only up and dressed, he’s out on the porch (don’t need to
leave for 10 more minutes!).
I used to get very annoyed at this weekly visit. But lately, seems the nurse and the social
worker are the only ones I can actually talk to who seem to comprehend what’s
going on, and my frustration. There’s
really nothing they can do; but they keep trying at least!
So, we’re off for another “adventure”!
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