Day 23

My frustration is growing by leaps and bounds; but I think it’s just a cumulative thing of not being able to adequately deal with the issues that come up, and not being able to get out.  And then when I do get out, I have to drive.  Of course, until this stupid toe is a lot better, walking wouldn’t be a good option anyway.  But something has to change.

I love this house, and the yard.  I can’t take any credit for the yard (other than occasionally buying stuff for it).  But slowly slowly, the gardens are coming together.  Ours will always be later than everyone else’s because of the limited time GF can spend on it – even less this year, since I can no longer drive over and pic her up (I used to pick her up about 11 am; we’d go eat “brunch” at Waffle House, then come back and she’d work in the yard off and on until around 5 or so and I’d take her back.  Now she rides her scooter, but rarely comes before 2 or so in the afternoon, and still has to leave by 5 or 5:30).

The house is old and quirky, and has a few major issues (like the sagging floor and wall in the front bedroom from leaks; places in the kitchen and back hall where the floor is buckled from leaks; lousy water pressure; wonky electric in some places); and a really odd layout.  But I’ve lived here longer than any place since I first moved out of my parent’s home, and I’ve worked hard to get it decluttered (once all the kids and grands moved out) and reasonably attractive.  Right now the way we’re using the rooms isn’t as convenient (or attractive) as I’d like, but it’s what works for Jimmy.  I work around that the best I can.

And all of that to say, the down side is I have to drive to go anywhere or do anything.  And that is fast going from a problem to a Major problem.  And I don’t know what we’ll do.  DSS of course wants us to move to town.  I suppose we could manage the higher rent for a slightly smaller house; and most of my plants (but not the trees I’ve planted) could be moved or divided.  But I don’t want to move.  And I really don’t want to live where it would be SO *convenient* for me to be a free babysitter again (no, they’ll never *say* that .. but much too easy to say “just run over to grandma’s house”).  In any case, I just don’t want to live in that town.  Not only would I have to pay higher rent for smaller space; the water is ridiculously high (and not nearly as good as my sweet well water); the electric is high; and then they tax you on top of that.  And we’d have all their silly rules about what you can and can’t have in your yard.  Nope.  Just don’t want that.

And yet .. how long will I have a choice?  Jimmy  does have to have his weekly appointment; living closer to DSS *might* mean a ride ... plus some of the grands are getting close to old enoough to be able to drive.  It still wouldn't solve the problem of being able to get out ... though in theory, being closer means DSS or TGF would be able to come stay with Jimmy so I could walk to a store.  Maybe.

I just don't want to think about it right now.

DGS is here, out mowing the grass.  I have a load of laundry in the dryer to go put away.  It's almost time to go take Jimmy his morning pills and get his day started.