As I’ve said before, not writing
every day since there’s not always much to say.
There are little things. Like one
night he went to sit on the bed, and missed, fell flat on the floor. We got him up, but he did scrape one
arm. It wasn’t bad or deep, but he does
bleed easily now; I got it cleaned and bandaged (he took the bandage off the
next day, insisted it was fine. I’m
always afraid of him getting infections; but there’s no way I can force him to
keep a bandage on his arm).
Saturday some friends came for a
visit. He sat up while they were here (2
hours), and long enough for a sandwich after; but he was laying down by 7:00,
and never got up again.
Yesterday DSS picked up his son
at the airport. We spent all afternoon
thinking they’d come over; but not until around 5:00. DSS was sick and didn’t come; and getting to
see Michael meant we got TGF and her 3 as well as DGS. At least I didn’t have to cook, they brought
pizza.
Today TGF brought DGS over when
she took the 2 little boys to school. He
couldn’t cut grass, it was rainy. So he
helped DH get into the car, and we all
went out. First to drop off some trash,
then get gas in the car. Then we went to
pay the rent. It started pouring –
really hard – on the way. What a
horrible nerve-wracking day of driving this was!
We got the rent paid; picked up
some med refills, and went to Wal-Mart.
I asked DGS to get a wheelchair for grandpa. Well, for whatever reason he decided to get
him an electric wheelchair (and I found out later they had talked about that at
home last night, and he’d been told that wasn’t a good idea!). DH had a hard time .. not good at direction,
and kept going much too fast. But he
didn’t even realize he wasn’t *driving* well.
At one point DGS had to go to the restroom, and told grandpa to wait for
him. Gues what. DH went riding off on his own … and it took
DGS and I both going through the whole store twice to find him! I was NOT a happy camper.
On the way home we also stopped
at the Boost store to get my account number so I could change phones. Geez, ridiculous how hard it was to get my
own account number! (Side note – not so
sure if I’ll like the new phone; but, it has a bigger screen so I can see it
better; and it’s a cheaper plan. The
rest I’ll figure out).
Right now, I just feel
tired. I’m depressed, discouraged,
exhausted. It was nerve wracking driving
today (I shouldn’t be driving under any circumstances; but the chauffeur quit,
so what can I do?). By the time we got
home I was SO tired; and really wasn’t able to get everything I wanted to
(Wal-Mart just does not carry some of the items I prefer to get from Food
Lion).
When TGF came to pick up DGS, one
of her boys was whining about “not fiar” that his older brother is out of
school earlier than they are. I nearly
lost it! I told her she needs to tell
them “Life’s not fair, get over it”. I
told her it’s not *fair* that I feel like I’m in prison, it’s a major pain to
get out of the house to do things that need to be done and never mind any hope
of having any time to myself. It’s not
fair that I’m exhausted and frustrated and all of the family is too busy to
help out. It’s kind of like talking to a
brick wall – she doesn’t “get it”.
OK, I guess I’m just venting
now. Nothing is going to change. There’s
still no word from the P/C lady – I didn’t expect there would be. There are no “rules”
that apply, so we’re on our own. I know
the nurse and social worker at the dialysis center have recognized that help is
needed (they see us every week, not every 3 to 6 months). But there just isn’t anything, and I really
don’t know how long I’m going to be able to hold on.
Oh, and tonight I tried to do the
heparin injections. I know DH can’t do
it any more (last time he tried it took him 2 hours because he kept forgetting
what he was doing). DSS is “willing” to help. But willingness isn’t much good if he’s not
here (now he’s sick). So, I figured I’d
give it a try. I don’t think I even got
it into the syringe on several; I couldn’t get the needle into the valve. This is another issue I’ll have to discuss
with the nurse.
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