Day 134

Day 134

Friday, August 8, 2014

There is little to say about this day beyond exhausting!  I was up way too early, of course, though not by choice.  Today will be more of the same, though I managed to wait until 5:00 to get up.

I did as much random straightening as I could, and waited (which we know I’m not good at doing!).  TGF and BGS16 got here about 9:30.  I was stressing, but I guess it’s just something I do .. wasn’t really necessary but I can’t help it.  It took the 3 of us (mostly them!) about half an hour to load all the rest of the yardsale stuff into the car and trailer.  It was before 10:30 when we go to the building .. and no one was there.  We waited a little while, but as it got closer to 10:30, TGF called the contact number.  It took her several calls and leaving messages, but she finally got hold of someone.  It turned out the lady who was supposed to open had had a minor emergency at home and would be late; but the owner of the building was on the way with a key.  Having no watch or phone or anything I can see by which to tell time, I was at a loss from then on.

We only have a very small space, and it took some very creative arranging; but it is right smack in front of the door.  It sounds expensive ($50 for the weekend) .. but broken down, not so much.  It works out to just over $12 a day for an indoor space with electricity, restroom, and built in traffic flow.  They told us last weekend .. also rainy .. was very good, so we’ll see.

The ladies in the facility shopped as we set out … which was totally fine.  As it turned out by the end of the day, after paying the rent and buying breakfast (one of TGF’s boys made us sandwiches and brought us lunch!), I left with about $5 more than I came with (it’s actually several dollars more than that, but I didn’t count the change).  That means that anything I make today is all profit.  And there’s a fair chance the owner will offer to buy me out by Monday.  Even if it’s a ridiculously low offer, it’s bonus for me and we wouldn’t have to move everything out (which would go straight to the ReStore)

It was hot, but the owner borrowed a box fan (from her other building) for us which made it bearable if not overly comfortable.  The bugs were the worst.  They totally drive me crazy.  I had a can of OFF, but was sweating so much I had to keep reapplying it.  If it’s as rainy today as was predicted, it’ll drive them all inside.   This will be another very long day!

 It was nice, however, when it was time to leave we didn’t have to do anything but leave.  The lady (who was there all day, so I was never there alone) just locks up.

I rode home with TGF long enough for her boys to take empty boxes out of the trailer (which I will get back for packing, but they have to be broken back down before moving them).  She gave me a container of leftover mashed potatoes and meatloaf,  so I didn’t even have to fix any supper (and it was very good).   

I managed to hold my eyes open  … well, no I guess I didn’t.  CSI comes on at 8:00 and I missed the end of it.  H50 is at 9:00, and I missed most of it.  At 10:00 I didn’t even try, just turned the TV off .. and that was it!

Yesterday we forgot to take the folding tables, but it was just as well at the time.  TGF got everything as well organized as possible with such a small space.  We’ll take the table today now that we know where we can put it to best advantage.  I won’t be taking the Christmas stuff … the only way there would be any place for it would be outside, and no one will stop and look if it’s raining.  Whatever Christmas decorations I give up will all have to be donated.  It doesn’t really matter how I feel about it, that’s just what has to be.

I got a few more random things into the small boxes I had to take today. 

It’s only barely starting to get light outside so I can’t tell if it’s as rainy as predicted.  The report on TV shows what seemed to be patchy rain almost here and heavier rain west .. but of course, that’s only me guessing somewhat since I can’t see the detail to tell exactly where any given place is on the map.

I don’t know what time TGF is coming for me this morning.  The building opens at 10:00; and she will try to get here early enough for us to get a breakfast biscuit on the way (yesterday it was too late before we could get anything, so had to settle for a chicken sandwich.  It was good, but I was really wanting a biscuit!).  But then, she isn’t always very punctual (although, oddly enough, she is obsessively punctual and reliable for work).   Meantime, I’ve put the “extra” time this morning to good use.  I’ve put some of the boxes scattered around into the open space in the back room.  There are more to move .. so people can move around the house; but perhaps tonight, or tomorrow morning. 

I think I’ll go on and get my shower, and then see if I can sneak in a nap before time to go.

Day 133

Day 133

Thursday, August 7, 2014

Once again, I’m waking up shortly after 4:00 and not happy about it.  My brain just won’t turn off, so much to take care of.  Yesterday was productive; but not completely in ways I expected.

I did start out accomplishing a few things on my list.  I made some phone calls; I “updated” my personal phone book (pulled out clinic and dialysis numbers, made new pages for family numbers that weren’t in it).  I moved the litter box out of the shower, and got 95% of the old litter out.  I still have to scrub it good; but the idea was to get Maggie away from going in there.  The box is just outside the shower.  Once she accepts that, I might move it again.  But then, maybe not .. in just another week it’ll get moved anyway.

In the early afternoon TGF got here with BGS16.  We went to run errands, BGS stayed here and got the glassware out of the high cabinets.  TGF and I tried to track down a dealer who once had a sign up in a local country store.  We couldn’t find him, so went on into town.  We stopped at the one flea market that was open.  After much conversation, and a phone call, we got permission to set up in another location for today through Monday for $50.  We talked it over, and conferred with the other ladies who plan to participate.    In the end, we’ve decided this seems to be the only reasonable option in view of the weather.   The yardsale has already been advertised, so all they have to do is publicize the change of location.  We’re going to take everything there today, and I’m pretty much stuck being there all day .. TGF and the other ladies may come and go at times, but there will be very little time I’m there alone (which would be really dumb since I have trouble identifying money!!)  I certainly hadn’t planned on this project taking so much time … but  with a 90% chance of rain, nothing else makes sense. 

I even asked the man we talked to about taking things on consignment … when I mentioned the EC, he laughed .. won’t touch it, they don’t sell.  Great. L

We will see how we do today and especially tomorrow; and maybe Sunday some.  But everything left will get cleared out Monday.  I absolutely will not stay all day as I have other things I need to get done.  The tentative plan is to try to get ReStore to pick up what’s left (unless a dealer does buy us out, but that seems less likely.  The man we talked to would have been interested, but he’s in a wheelchair and if it’s raining he can’t go to the location where we’ll be.). 

Anyway, once we’d decided about that, we went on to Wal-Mart.  I had to get a few more things, but hoping I’ll need very little else to get me to moving day.  I still have to have grocery money then .. awkward timing because it’ll be a few days before my money Is in the bank.  But, maybe this yardsale will be successful and solve problems anyway.

I got a new broom for the apartment .. a lingering bit of superstition! LOL!

When I got home, I had several emails to take care of.  I did work on a few more things.  The things BGS had pulled down included a few more pieces of my MIL’s china that I have given to DSS & TGF.  I don’t know why it was stored in so many different places!  But I got those wrapped up ready for her to take home.  I sorted out the glassware .. turned out there wasn’t much of it I decided to keep.   I don’t remember what else, but it seemed like I kept popping up and down thinking of something else I needed to do.

By 10:00 there was nothing worth watching on TV and I couldn’t even hold my eyes open, so I gave up trying …which I suppose partly explains why I woke so early.  If I hadn’t had so much on my mind Imight have been able to go back to sleep.  But TGF will be here early .. maybe by 8:30.  We have to be at the flea market by 10:00, as the lady we have to make arrangements with will only be there a short time.  TGF wants us to go on and take a car and trailer load at that time to get started setting up.  I may or may not have one or two of the little boys to help while she goes to her house (which is only 4 or 5 blocks away) to get the rest of the things she had already brought from my house.  We will likely wait until tomorrow morning to take the Christmas stuff that’s out on the porch … it’s outside stuff so rain won’t matter too much.

This morning, since I got up so early, I washed up a lot more stuff including some big canisters from cleaning out the pantry.  There’s nothing left in it but things in glass jars which I’ll pack at the last minute .. and tools.  Goodness, how can one household have so many tools???  I have my own personal toolbox .. and there are I believe 3 more hammers, 2 mallets, and a hatchet.  WHY do we have a hatchet??  (and why didn’t DGS15 find and claim that? LOL)  I have a few things to put away from a load of laundry done yesterday; and have to get in the shower much earlier than “usual” this morning. 

As I said .. my mind just keeps whirling, trying to think of what I need to do before TGF gets here and wondering how and when to fit in other things that need to be done.  I think I’m somewhat organized this morning .. which isn’t bad considering how little “warning” I had about this coming up.  The sky is just beginning to lighten up a little, so still too early.  I will go on and get showered and dressed, and then see what (anything?) I can get done  this morning.

Just for keeping track:  I'm down to 16 days; 38 items on my "to do" list (which includes items for sale, so not *really* things I have to actually do), and only 8 things I still need help to get done.

Day 132

Day 132

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Yesterday was a very odd day in a lot of ways.  To start with in the morning, I decided to give one more try at checking the bank account … and it opened right up!   Oddly enough, the check for the “application fee” has not cleared still.  And yet they keep saying fees for this and fees for that.  I forgot to ask, but hope to remember to call today. 

Then I tried my email again, but got some strange page I’d not seen before, and had no idea what that was.

Later , a little before noon, when TGF got here I asked her to look.  Turns out that page was a security check because MSN thought someone might have hacked my account.  Oops .. that’s just because I gave DIL the password to see if she could access it.  TGF took the computer with us, but we didn’t take it to the shop. 

First of all, we went straight in and signed the lease!  I’m still annoyed at those guys … but just have to let it go.  Everything is finally in order:  lease is signed, and DN has the funds in the bank to give them what they need on the 15^th and she will get the keys.

When we left there, we stopped for some lunch then went on to my appointment.  I got there early, but as usual didn’t have to wait long.  I hope the new doctor will be as efficient!!  While in the waiting room, TGF found the “missing” book on my Kindle, and got it to download.  She also finally got the email to open, and amused herself by deleting the junk that had accumulated.

There is no major change in my eyes.  The pressure in one was a little high, but there is still (or again?) some inflammation .. so back to the steroid drops in just one eye for a month.  That is so hard to keep up with while so much else is going on!!  Since I’m having a little trouble with the drops (all of them) burning a bit, they recommended I try keeping them in the fridge, to see if using them cold is more soothing. 

My next appointment is towards the end of September with the “new” (to me) office. 

Since I got in early, we were on the way home by shortly after 4:00.  But unfortunately there was at least one (possibly more) accident, and we were stuck in a lot of “sto-and-crwl” … it was close to 6:00 before I got home!

Very shortly after I got home, DB called to let me know the plans for next week.  They are coming for a few days (bringing their own “guest room”! LOL) to help out.  DIL and DS will also be here one night since she has an early appointment to get to. 

We are still aiming for a yardsale this Saturday … but every weather forecast I hear sounds worse and worse.  And only for Saturday.  Is something trying to tell me NOT to do a yardsale???  I’d certainly be glad to listen .. if I could be sure of selling this other stuff.  But it does REALLY need to go.

Later this morning I am going to try calling a local radio station and put some things on there for sale. I don’t know that I have very high hopes of that being any more successful than anything else I’ve tried .. but can’t hurt either. 

My list is “down” to only 45 items, though I know there are likely other things that aren’t on it.  It’s been mainly a guideline so I don’t forget, as well as incentive to keep chipping away at everything.  I have 17 days; and only 9 things that I still need some help with.  Which means I have 36 things I NEED to get done!!  There are a lot of things on the list that pretty much have to wait until the last minute; and I have selling individual pieces of furniture listed, which is something I don’t actually have much control over.

I am also to the point where I have to stop and get the chaos under control again, as much as I can.  It starts getting cluttered and drives me crazy. 

A couple of things that aren’t on my list I should add .. but not until Sunday.  After the yardsale is over (however that works out), I can use one card table in here for the computer, and the lady can come get the desk whenever she wants (sooner rather than later I hope).  Also, I will need to call the people who bought the dining room table to see if they need it delivered (for a small fee), since it’s now August and I haven’t heard from them for a month now.  Last time I talked to them I told them I wasn’t moving until August .. so I’m sort of surprised I haven’t heard again.

Today TGF will take me to the grocery store.  Again.  Hopefully I can plan well enough to not need anything again before moving (and I don’t want to end up with much to have to move, especially cold stuff).  But I must get cat food, want to get more bottled water, and would like to get some actual food! LOL!  I’ve been mostly only eating the frozen dinners .. avoiding using the stove (hoping for a refund on the unused gas!!).  It’s getting boring, but all things considered it’s practical for now.  She also plans to take home yet more boxes of yardsale stuff.  Even with the worsening weather forecast, she continues to forge ahead, determined to give it a try.  My best hope is still for a dealer to just buy me out!  I’m not very excited about the prospect of sitting under a hot stuffy tarp on a rainy day when no one is interested in stopping to buy junk. L

Other than shopping, I have 2 main “projects” for today.  I need to move the litter box out of the shower stall it’s been in for years.   I plan to move all the plastic and do the best I can to clean out all scattered litter.  When we move, Maggie will need to get used to the box being in a different place, so I want to get started.  She’s funny, she refuses to use the litter box with the swinging door .. but as long as I tape the door open, she’s OK with it.  I hope she’ll still be OK when I move it … not moving it far, but I will get rid of the plastic and old litter to try to make sure she doesn’t feel like she has to still go to the same location.  I’d like to spray it with Lysol, but I think the box might still be too close and that would put her off. The other project will be to continue trying to see what’s upstairs that can go with the yardsale stuff. My tentative plan at this point is to put most of the boxes of Christmas stuff into storage; cull the tree collection way down; and try to work my way through the other things up there.  Anything that I don’t pull out in time for this weekend will be put aside for a call to the ReStore for a pickup just before the move.

Well, sitting here trying to figure it out as I write isn’t getting anything done.  It’s time to move on, get the day started and see what I cn accomplish.  My daily goal has been to cross at least 2 things off my list … but today’s goal is at least 4 things!

Day 131

Day 131

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

This turned into a ridiculously busy day, whitout being particularly productive.  I woke way too early; but did manage to go back to sleep for an hour or so after I’d been up a few hours.  I finished going through the remaining bits of paper, and the bulk of it .. at least the parts that I think have (or may have) anything important are all in one container.  I still need DIL to help me sort and file, but at least it’s not as overwhelming. 

The insurance man came a bit earlier than scheduled (he called to ask if it was OK).  We reviewed my insurance and annuity and decided no changes were needed. 

While he was still here my SIL got here, but she stayed outside (picking blueberries) until he left.  Since she was already out, I went out too, and we decided to go on and put the big metal chaise in her truck.  All I can say is we’re not overly clever old women!  It rolled over easily enough, with me pulling the “head” end and she pushing the “foot” end (but it has big wheels).  When we went to lift it into the truck bed, I had to let go of the head to grab the bar underneath so I could lift it high enough.  I just didn’t realize that when I let go, the “adjustable” head part would just flop back .. and the top edge of it whacked me right in the forehead!!  Ouch!!!    No, not hard enough to knock me out .. I’m pretty sure it didn’t even make a bruise.  There’s just a tiny lump, but it is very tender; and I am tending towards headachy.  I believe that’s only adding to overall stress … still makes me feel stupid. L

While SIL was here, the owners of the house (Mrs. P and her son) came over.  That was a surprise, though I suppose it shouldn’t be.   They indicated they would prefer to check and clean the house before another tenant moves in … but … they weren’t totally adamant.  (I told TGF to tell her friend to give them his “pitch”.  His kids need a stable environment as soon as possible, and he’s willing to just not use the back room until repairs are made.  I have no idea if he’ll be successful, but it’s up to him now).  It turns out they knew (or at least, he did – told his mother he’d known) about the damanage to the back wall.  The roofer had told him there was damage; but it wasn’t anything he could do something about while we were living here and using that room.  It was, overall, an interesting experience.  They said nothing whatsoever about damages that I thought would upset them (like the cat ruined spindle).  The only tiny note of discomfort (to me) was that she thought there had been a washer and dryer here when I moved in.  I told her I didn’t think so; but in any case, I’d long since had to buy new ones.  The more I think about it, the more sure I am there wasn’t a dryer, but I just can’t remember about the washer.  I know I had some (very old hand-me-downs) when I moved in.

In the course of talking with SIL I mentioned that I’ve almost completely convinced myself I should sell the antique dresser.  I love it .. but …it’s just too big to be practical in the apartment.  And no one else in the family seems to want it.  SIL mentioned she might know of an antique dealer who might at least come look at it.  So I asked her to go ahead and call him.  I may call her this morning and remind her.  The forecast for this weekend is looking worse and worse … very “iffy” for a yardsale … and there’s no more time.  If I could sell the dresser, the freezer (might have someone interested) and the entertainment center (or 2 large bookcases and a TV cabinet), I could call the ReStore to come pick up the stuff (but they’d have to make 2 pickups since some is now at TGF’s house).  Right now the biggest down side to donating everything is that they’d take it “as is” .. which means crammed into boxes.  And that means I’d lose several of the big boxes I was counting on getting back.  I’m down to not so many boxes again; but at this point, it’s really hard to tell what I will even need.  The bottom line is, I really really want to get out of dealing with a yardsale .. but feel like I have no choice but make the effort to make a bit more money, plus the vague possibility of getting a dealer to just buy the whole lot of it.

After the landlords left, and then SIL left, and later SIL left, I pretty much did nothing else.  TGF had said she’d come by again; but at least she called, and I knew sort of what was going on at her house.  She never did get here. 

Today is the last appointment I will have and then the doctor will transfer me to the local office.  TGF will pick me up, and hopefully none of the drama around her will interfere for today at least.  She’s supposed to come as soon as BGS16 gets home from soccer practice.  The *plan* is to go by Best Buy to ..**gasp**.. leave the computer to find out what’s going on with it.  Then we’ll go by the rental office (and pray the timing doesn’t put us there at lunch time) to finally sign the lease.  From there it’s on to the appointment, which is at 3:00.  So hopefully the timing will all work out.  Then we will stop by BB on the way home again, and I desperately hope my computer will be ready to come home.

If no one hears from me .. blog or email … that would be why.  And, of course, then I’d be stuck having to find someone to take me to get it when ready.

I have 18 days to move in day, and at least 47 things I need to get done..  13 of them I will need help of some sort with (but today will take care of 2 and maybe 3 of them).  It’s getting scary.   Even though technically I don’t have to have everything out of this house on the 23^rd … the fact is, once I’m in the apartment, getting back and forth here to finish up anything will be a major problem.  It’s too far and everyone works.  And I know I need to worry about getting there first, and then deal with what’s next.  It just all continues to feel overwhelming.  And as I keep saying .. even though I’ve given away a massive amount of stuff, and have an even more massive amount for yardsale and/or donating, plus things to sell … in the end, I’ve had to deal with this entire huge house by myself.  People have helped me with various things .. but not actually sorting and packing any of it.  And I’m just really tired.

I need to go on and get showered and ready for a day full of adventures!  I really hope I’ll have my computer (and my email; but way more importantly, access to my bank account) back by tonight

Day 130

Day 130

Monday, August 4, 2014

This was in a few ways a much more productive day, although it had some extremely frustrating elements.  DS and DN picked me up in the morning, and we went to the rental office … only to be told, once again, the lease wasn’t ready for signing.  We were told that the “reason” was that no one (meaning DN or myself) had told them whether or not the cat would be coming with us.  What???  When I went in last week and had the guy give me a break down of the expenses, I said OK.  I wanted to give him a check then for the pet deposit, but he said it had to all be paid at once on the 15^th.  Now I want to know … WHAT part of that even hinted that there was any possibility of the cat not coming???   We were all 3 severely annoyed (I’m being “nice”).   We did go by the bank and I gave DN the rest of my share of deposits.  DS took DN back to her apartment.  Then we went to a storage facility that is on a bus route, and put my name on a waiting list (and was assured having a unit available by the end of August was no problem).  Next we went by the UHaul place.  DS had looked online and it said nothing was available; but when we got there, there was no problem at all reserving a trailer.  So that’s all taken care of at least.  DS took me by her house and gave me lunch, then took me on home.  She also had some very good suggestions for me regarding some of the things I’m trying to get rid of!

While out, DB called .. they may have a buyer for the freezer.  I need to dig out the owner’s manual (pretty sure I came across that when sorting all that paperwork), check what brand name it is.

Later in the evening DN called to let me know the lease has been fixed and she has signed.  I just have to make a THIRD trip to town to sign it!!

I didn’t actually get anything packed, but I did at least work on getting a few areas cleared again.  I also looked at my “to do” list … and added more things that needed to be on it.  So it’s getting longer instead of shorter, which is really scary!!  I have 50 things to get done in 19 days.  And at least 14 of those are things that require help of one sort or another (either a ride somewhere, or help with reading/identifying something).

TGF had said she would come by with BGS16 to help get some things out of tall cabinets.  But it was after 7:00 before they got here (she’d had fires to put out too), and I was too tired to deal with the cabinets.  But they did take at least 3 large boxes of yardsale stuff, plus all the trash.  She also said she would come early enough tomorrow (doctor appointment) to go by to sign the lease on the way.   I think perhaps I will go on and take the computer with me, on the off chance of getting it to BB to fix.  It’s very frustrating to not have my email.  But it’s horrible to not be able to access my bank account!!  I can call and get a balance; but I need to see (usually every day) exactly what has cleared.  So getting the computer fixed really is urgent.

I was so tired I don’t even remember what was on TV; nothing much I thnk.  I went to sleep soon after 10:00, and slept very soundly .. until 4:00. L  Now, of course, I’m wide awake.  I have been for awhile now .. a sink full of dishes washed, and I’m ready for another cup of coffee.  And it’s not even close to daylight yet.  Oh, and also did my best to send out the “family” version of the newsletter … because if there’s a button for “blind copies” I have no idea where it is.  I had to cull email address together as best I could (most of them because DIL looked them up for me) and create a list I could copy to get in the “to” box.

I;m supposed to call SIL about coming over today.  I think I should have called her yesterday, but too much on my mind to even think of that.  She had said she’d come “Tuesday or Wednesday” .. but tomorrow is out because I won’t be here.  Maybe it will wait until later in the week.  She wants to help me go through stuff from upstairs; but I really think I need to at least finish the paperwork project before starting something else!  Besides, until I finish that ther’s stuff all over the living room floor.

This afternoon the insurance agent is coming by for my “annual review” of my something or other.  I can’t even remember what it is.  I had actually forgotten he had promised to do that.  Oh, and that reminds me .. something else that needs to be on my list … I have to take care of making sure my beneficiary information on my insurance policies is up to date.  I believe the guy today can help with that; I didn’t want to do it until I had my new address, so all of that can be taken care of today.  I hope.

Awake or not, I’m on the edge of headachy.  I have way too much to get done to have time to feel bad, so I think I’ll settle back and see if I can get another hour of sleep before starting in on this day.

Day 129

Day 129

Sunday, August 3, 2014

It was a better day; I don’t know if it was because I’m more resigned or because there’s at least a plan in place to get some important things done.  I did have a lot of weepy spells; but some of that was simply my eyes not wanting to cooperate with what needed to be done.  I didn’t completely finish my paper purging project, but I greatly reduced it.  I still have 3 smaller boxes to go through, and I have created several piles as I sorted that I have to decide what to do with.  I’m still having trouble letting go of some things .. like blank paper.  I will have no shortage of computer paper; but I also have notebook paper (not as much, but some) and graph paper.  I’ve already given away loads of that, and still keep finding more.  Apparently I’m a paper hoarder. L  I’ve separated out useful things,  a few things (like special editions of magazines or play programs) that could, eventually, have a degree of significance.   The trick is to decide if they should be put in storage.  If I do just store them, perhaps it should be with a note that they were kept for a reason … and some day when my kids go through my stuff, they won’t wonder why they’re having to bother with junk like that.  At least they’ll know why, and *maybe* check to see if there’s any value before they just throw it all away!

Anyway, sorting through all that stuff (I think there are SIX trash bags .. not full, but as heavy as I could manage) was hard on my eyes.  There is still a lot of stuff spread on the living room floor; hopefully today I will finish that project. 

I also went through some of the totes where I had emptied kitchen cabinets.    After moving a few things to where they belonged, and eliminating some things … I was able to combine the “gadgets” into one plastic box with a lid.    At least there will be only one contained place to search when one of the gadgets is needed.

I got all the pictures down.  I wasn’t sure I could; it involved a bit of balancing on furniture.  But, it’s done.  I’ve got at least a good start on dividing those between keep and store.  I know I will have a very limited amount of wall space; and I’ve been *told* that my BIL is the only one “allowed” to hang pictures (I think it’s just actually that he knows how to do it on a specific type of wall; but I doubt that applies to interior walls).  And I may well end up having to put more back into storage, but I just won’t know until I get there and see.

I do wish I could quit finding more things that need to be done!

My DN called, she didn’t know that DIL had not been able to come at all this weekend.   (Because of the limited time left, a future doctor appointment, and a very restricted energy factor due to health, I seriously doubt she’ll be able to come here at all.  I did ask if she thought she’d be able to manage one day so we could go to the bank, but she hasn’t answered that.  I’m afraid that, too, will have to wait.  I can go on and order new checks with the new address, but it seems silly to do that yet when I want to add her to my bank account.  It just seems like, all things considered, it would be a good idea to have a family member have access to the account). 

DN and DS are coming this morning to get the lease signed.  Hopefully the guys at the rental office have finally fixed the mistake (and they will call first, not waste a trip to town if it isn’t ready). 

I was searching (unsuccessfully as it turned out) for a file and stumbled across a spreadsheet with email addresses.  I didn’t have many; apparently I had started the list nad never completed it.  But it did have the right one for TGF.  I sent a “test” email, and she answered.  She said she and BGS16 will be here today.  Not even a hint as to why they didn’t come Friday as she’d said, or not a word from her all weekend.  I will give her the benefit of the doubt .. she thought DIL was here and she didn’t need to be bothered.  I  wrote her back and said to call first, since I’m supposed to go with DS and DN.  I hope she actually got that email, she didn’t answer.   I desperately hope she can manage to spare enough time to help me ddeal with the trailer and storage … at the very least look them up and write phone numbers big enough for me to read them.

One other thing I hope she will do (and hope I remember to ask) .. or possibly BGS can do as he is good with computers.  I have a Print Artist program, and want to use it to print my phone book pages (and will include email addresses with the phone numbers!!).  The main reason for using that is I can turn the page sideways so it works in the notebook and I can print large without it going on more than one line.  But, I haven’t used the program in a really long time, and never memorized where the different features are.  So I can’t find the supid “save” button!!  Extremely frustrating. I really need to get that information (family, businesses, etc) available in a form I can use.

I usually send a newsletter on Monday mornings.  Without access to my Hotmail account, I don’t have most of the addresses I generaly send it to.  DIL is going to look them up and send .. but she’s not been able to do that yet.   It doesn’t actually matter so much if it’s “late”.  Mostly I want to be able to let some people at least know where I am! I have no way of knowing if anyone has tried to contact me.  I’m thinking I might put the newsletter “on hold” for about a month … it’s really hard to put a “good twist” on this whole moving issue when I’m so tired and stressed and frustrated.  I think both the blog and the newsletter can take on “new life” once I get settled and then make a very conscious effort to have “adventures” and fun and have more interesting things to write about!

I set my alarm a fraction early – a little before 6:00 – to make sure I got up early (even though I always do anyway .. but I have been sleeping a little later on these gray mornings).  I woke up about a minute before it went off!  I can’t even tell how cloudy it is, because it’s extremely foggy!  Now outside looks about like my vision inside always looks. J  I did take time to do the ever present dishes plus a small amount of straightening in the kitchen.  I’m slowly working my way through so much stuff … hard to do when it’s hard to tell what things are.  Plus, as I empty (or get rid of) cabinets .. the things have to *be* somewhere!  So my counters and table are cluttered and it’s driving me crazy. Crazier.  But I keep trying to chip away at it.  I’m still having trouble deciding on what to pack.  I feel like what will happen is that I will only be allowed to keep as much as can be stored in whatever space is left that I allowed to use; and a lot of things will end up getting repacked and taken to storage.  There are at least some people who think that since I’m “blind” (even though I’m “legally blind” but NOT totally blind) I have no need of .. well … anything I guess.

I better get busy for a change.  I’ve let myself get into a sloppy habit of not getting dressed right away.  I write, used to read email, wander around doing bits and pieces … and generally just take my time until after my 8:00 eye drops before I even get in the shower.  I can’t do that today, and really want to get myself out of that habit anyway.  For a really long time I had to get up and be dressed and ready for the day early.  I guess now I’m rebelling; but it’s time to stop that.  I don’t have to be “ready for the day” as early as 7:30 any more.  But waiting until 9:00 (or even sometimes later) is not good either.  So, I change my schedule.  Starting today.

Day 128

Day 128

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Yesterday was a very difficult day.  I spent most of the day feeling sad, frustrated, overwhelmed, and even (at times) abandoned.  My DIL was unable to come, as she was (is) not well enough.  (I am NOT mad at her; in fact, I’m not mad at anyone – except maybe myself).  But the end result is that I was alone and unable to do things I had counted on getting done.  I’m starting to wonder if this whole move was a mistake after all.  I should just stay here, sitting in the dark to keep the electric bill down, shivering or sweating to try to use less gas or electric, and eating ct food with Maggie because I can’t afford  anything else (and if I could someone else would “shop” my pantry or freezer).

There are a lot of things here at the house, ranging from helping look up websites to get information and phone numbers (to reserve a trailer and a storage unit) to helping me read labels on cleaning supplies to tell what it makes sense to take with me (even though apparently *some* people think I won’t need dish soap, since that’s what they consider “surplus” cleaners that it’s all right to ask for). 

And there are so many things that MUST be taken care of that require someone taking me somewhere .. like taking a check to DN, signing my lease, going to the bank, putting in a change of address, getting massive amounts of books (and cameras) donated either to the library or the habitat store.    I really am on the edge of panic now.  DIL is sick and can’t get here … since she was unable to come Friday or yesterday (and my impression was she’ll only come on a weekend), I have no idea when or even if she’ll be able to come help me with anything.  And TGF only has this coming week until school starts for her; and one day is to take me to my last doctor appointment in Durham.  She seems to find it very hard to find more than just a few hours in the afternoon (contrary to what she promised a few months back), and I just don’t know how anything is going to get done.  My SIL has also offered to help … but she is also unreliable, as she will often say she’ll call or come over and then I don’t see or hear from her for over a week.  And her latest idea on “helping” is that she wants to come here and bring all the boxes down from the attic and make me go through them.  Yeah, that’s just what I need, to stop cleaning and packing everything else and find room for more stuff downstairs. 

If would help enormously if all this yardsale stuff were out of the way.  Singing a song that is old and boring now, I wish I could sell some of the extra things I have here (especially that dratted entertainment center) so I could just call the ReStore and have them pick it all up.  I’m always being told how successful *other* people are at selling things on line (Craigs List or yardsale sites) … but I have been spectacularly unsuccessful.  I’m finding more and more I hate the thought of doing another yardsale … there’s way too much stuff here now … but TGF seems to be adamant that we will do that .. and when it’s over, then I will give away everything.  Somehow, being told I will give away all my stuff that doesn’t sell feels more offensive than just calling MY choice of charity up front (the ReStore doesn’t have drivers on weekends .. and the local mission store  might turn us down because I have so much junk now, no clothes, it would nearly fill their store!).  And that’s not counting the books and cameras.

Yesterday I decided I had run out of time to deal with paper stuff. I went through 4 large plastic tubs, and reduced it to a half a tub I still need help with, a small pile of keepsakes, and 4 trash bags to go.  I kept old bank statements until someone can help me read the dates (won’t keep anything more than 2 or 3 years old), and will just have to take time to shred the rest.  I didn’t bother shredding anything else.  It’s all too old anyway.  I hope I didn’t toss anything important .. but it just could keep waiting.  Today I hope to go through several more smaller boxes; they will be more recent, so harder to ssort.  Hopefully at the very least I can get it down to only one large tub to be sorted eventually.

Since TGF did not bring BGS16 by to help with the pictures .. and in fact, hasn’t bothered to even get in touch for 2 days .. I will get them down myself.  I got them up, I can get them down.  That probably means I’ll have to move DSS’s old a/c again … that has been in my way for years and he keeps promising but it never gets moved.  Now TGF has got it firmly into her head to buy a house, and she wants everything that should be going to their house to just stay here until she gets her house.  Never mind that *I* am trying to move .. in only 20 days … and I’m getting no actual help with packing, while there are minimum 5 of them to move, and a much shorter distance.  She frequently says to me “don’t worry we’ll get it all done” .. but there’s no “we”!!  Then she tells me she can’t sleep at night for starting to worry about how much there is to do .. only then she sleeps half the day …  and still isn’t actually doing anything to help.

I didn’t mean to get off on another whining spree.  I’m just so very frustrated.  I’m visualizing walking away from this house and leaving things behind.  The landlord hasn’t bothered to contact me about my asking him if someone else can move right in (willing to take it “as is”).  Because school is starting so soon, he will have to make other arrangements; and that means he won’t be buying my freezer, so one more thing to have to advertise.  He would love to buy the washer and dryer too, but TGF might want them (and yes, I’m being STUPID, don’t bother to tell me what *you* would do, like it or not she’s still family regardless of what anyone thinks) … only a friend might give her a set and then I can sell mine.  OK, I really can see that she can’t ask her friend if she’s going to actually give her the washer and dryer .. that would be tacky.  Meantime, the guy may have to just go on and find ones he can buy now. 

The thing is, I’mjust so frustrated with so many things up in the air and not settled, and I can’t do anything about it.  I want to just sell the stuff I’m not keeping and know I have the funds needed.  I want to call ReStore and have them pick up all the yardsale stuff, the smaller pieces of furniture I don’t need, the books, even the cameras.

Yesterday I discovered there’s some more glassware in a cabinet over the stove .. I had forgotten all about it.  So I’ve got to try to get it down, sorted, decide what to do with it.  I haven’t gotten the good china down yet; but because I got rid of cabinets, I have no places to put things.  So there’s no counter space to safely take down the china.  Plus DIL was going to bring some special padded storage bags for the china.  I have no idea if she’ll ever be able to come, so I guess I need to just go on and use bubble wrap.  I don’t know if I can reach the glassware, but I have to try .. or else leave it behind.  The lady who helped me clean and organize the cabinets a few years ago is very tall … it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t be able to reach it when needed!

I slept later again this morning.  I suppose a combination of taking Aleve for aching feet and head, super tired eyes, and a cool rainy night and morning helped!  But, now the day is moving on.  I need to get showered and dressed, feed the cats, and push myself to start on today’s list.  I want to sort through those last boxes of papers .. even if all I can do is combine them into the one big box; I want to get all the rest of the pictures off the walls; I want to finish sorting the things off the walls into “take” and “store”.  I want to try to get that last bit of glassware down and sorted.  I might also try to deal with the cleaners … and just throw away what I’m not sure of.  I’m pretty sure I’ve got at least 3 partial bottles of glass cleaner … they can be combined.   And I think there are 2 partial bottles of Mop N Glo, which can also be combined (I may be wishing I hadn’t packed funnels! LOL)

Later today I will send a list of names to DIL, and she will look up email addresses for me (she can access my Hotmail that I can’t).  At least I can then contact people who might be wondering what happened to me.  I really hate gmail. L  I can’t enlarge it (I can enlarge the screen, but it won’t scroll so all that happens is everything disappears of the edges).  A lot of the printing is in light blue which is extremely hard for me to see.   I can’t navigate what I can’t see.  The only buttons I have “learned” are the new message one (I can send email if I know the address, but can’t reply), the archive button (where I send everything because if there’s more than one message in the inbox I have a hard time clicking on the right one) and the trash button